Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Steel Reinforced Chair Mat With Printed Target Showing Where To Smash Microsoft Product

Target is labeled "Smash Microsoft Windows Equipped Computer Here."
  (+4, -1)
(+4, -1)
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Reinforced with steel so as to not to damage the floor, but coated with enough shock absorbent rubber to keep shards from flying all over the room.

Located right under your feet, picking up your Microsoft infected computer and smashing it into pieces becomes a joy, not a chore.

Even if you never use it, very comforting to know it's always there just in case. Should come free with every god forsaken Windows "update".

"Windows: Named for what you want to throw this crap out of."

I'll see myself out.

doctorremulac3, Feb 12 2023

Like so https://thenounproj...s-the-spot-3653081/
[doctorremulac3, Feb 12 2023]

Steve Jobs looking at the big picture, not getting into the engineering weeds. https://www.youtube...watch?v=egT8HcDt0xU
[doctorremulac3, Feb 14 2023]

Wintson Super Kings https://www.bing.co...180D50670&FORM=VIRE
It's not how long you make it, it's how you make it long [a1, Feb 17 2023]


       I thought shards flying across the room was part of the point?
pocmloc, Feb 12 2023

       We considered that, so you can flip this over to get more of a shard shower if you'd like.   

       Remember, there are 7.888 billion people on Earth and each and every one has a different opinion on how a computer running Microsoft Windows should be smashed to pieces.
doctorremulac3, Feb 12 2023

       There are far more then that if you count illegal people.
mylodon, Feb 13 2023

       Good point!   

       And to be fair, there might be some people who feel differently about computers that run Windows. Some might think burning them is the way to go, or even using explosives.   

       Can't make assumptions about such large groups of humans, we all see things differently.
doctorremulac3, Feb 13 2023

       Microsoft Office Products aren't half as bad as the excrement of a web-based change management database that is the front end for TeamCenter that we have to deal with is. TeamCenter Rich Client is fairly useful. But this DeLoitte and Touche-created steaming pile of cowpie takes everything that was good about TeamCenter and removes it, while keeping all of the bad nonsense. It violates every tenet of good UI design, be it predictable interface, clues to the next step, or feedback that the path that you're trying to go down to release this dumb product is completely wrong and you need to go submit a workflow for the implement stage is first, whatever the hell that means. Oh no. Microsoft Windows, being much worse than Office, but eons better than the flotsam generated by well-paid 'consultants' is only about the 3rd circle of hell in Dante's software.
RayfordSteele, Feb 14 2023

       My solution is engineering departments need more old people or children to test things on.   

       I was working with the person making a training video for my company, giving advice and verifying the training was correct. I put myself in the "man on the street" mode looking for what somebody new to the process might get hung up on. Sometimes it was an assumption that the scientific processes discussed were already understood (I'd suggest the very simplest overview and analogy of the process) or a simple thing like the next page/video link being in different places.   

       I believe Steve Jobs was great at his job because he WASN'T an engineer, he was an end user. Watch him describe what he wanted from a product that turned out to be reasonably successful. The iPhone.
doctorremulac3, Feb 14 2023

       Should be trivial to make a sound and image recognition system to identify such a device as is being targeted in the idea. The system would be built into what looks like an ordinary desk. On detecting the diagnostic system sounds, or on recognising the screen display, the top of the desk retracts and tilts, allowing all devices on it to slide into the centre where large toothed hardened steel mechanised rollers chew it all to bits with satisfying crunching sounds.   

       There should be a user-adjustable setting to either deposit the detritus onto the mat, or to spray it across the room, depending on user preferences.
pocmloc, Feb 15 2023

       What are you using? Microsoft computers are just as reliable as Macs, *at the same price point*. Windows, like Android, is more accessible to the masses due to its widespread availability on cheap equipment at budget prices. The poors who have only ever experienced it on the low end of the budget spectrum and finally decided to jump ship to Apple and think it's more reliable WOULD have found just as much reliability on an equally priced Windows machine, without all the sacrifices you make switching to a less 3rd party friendly platform. Take, again the Android comparison. People will get fed up with their cheap Samsung A53, which they bought because they considered the $1,000 Galaxy S22 to be outrageously expensive, then switch to iOS and spend just as much or more on the latest Apple phone and think Apple makes superior products when it works better than the $400 budget Samsung phone.
21 Quest, Feb 16 2023

       Now don't be getting all technical. Just remember, M$ BAD and you will soon be cool.
pocmloc, Feb 16 2023

       // Just remember, M$ BAD and you will soon be cool. //   

       Is that like Orange Man Bad? Because that's what this idea reminds me of. It's a rant and nothing more.
a1, Feb 16 2023

       Which is badder, Orangeman or M$?
pocmloc, Feb 16 2023

       Ooh, that's a pick'em.
a1, Feb 16 2023

       Only one solution... Fight!
pocmloc, Feb 16 2023

       It's Doc Rem with the steel chair... mat!
21 Quest, Feb 16 2023

       I can shut off M$ at least.
RayfordSteele, Feb 17 2023

       Just kind of fun to rant a bit sometimes.
doctorremulac3, Feb 17 2023

       If ranting a bit is fun, does that mean ranting a lot is funner?   

       New idea: Rant competition. Who can rant the longest.   

       OK its not a new idea, it is already invented, it is called "the internet".   

       Better luck next time.
pocmloc, Feb 17 2023

       // Who can rant the longest //   

       “It’s not how long you make it, it’s how you make it long.”
a1, Feb 17 2023

       That's what she said...
21 Quest, Feb 17 2023

       // That's what she said //   

       Who? The woman in the WInston Super King commercial (link)?   

       Also immortalized in a George Carlin routine.
a1, Feb 17 2023


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