Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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wank drawer

the ultimate porn-surfing accessory
  (+14, -8)
(+14, -8)
  [vote for,

One of the many (largely unacknowledged) benefits of the interweb is the ability to look at pictures of nice people with no clothes on. For some reason, this makes many men want to fiddle with certain parts of themselves, which sometimes results in some mess.

This idea therefore provides such gentlemen with a quick and discreet means of cleaning up, so minimising the interruption to their otherwise socially productive and morally irreproachable demeanour. It is a drawer (set under their desk surface, set back a little) that they can open, direct the results of their fiddling into, and then shut.

The drawer contains a roll of absorbent paper spooling between two rolls via a flat-bed assembly (so it covers the floor of the drawer). Opening and closing the drawer both roll the paper forward. On opening the drawer, therefore, you always find a clean, empty drawer to receive the results of your 'strugglings'. A little perfume in the paper masks the odours of any 'residue'.

Unnecessary buildups of frustrated sexual energy at the workplace can thus be avoided, resulting in a more harmonious, productive working environment for all.

bumhat, Jan 20 2006

You might want to invest in one of these too! http://www.kador.com/leaflet1.htm
[Dumb But Tough, Jan 20 2006]

(?) Office Wank Policy http://www.youtube....gvXM&search=wanking
Decrease in office morale. [AfroAssault, Apr 17 2006]


       you humans disgust me!
The Kat, Jan 20 2006

       ah, but unlike your desk, the bathroom doesn't have an interweb connection...
bumhat, Jan 20 2006

       Wank drawer??? Hmm how about a "Ball bib" instead? Just an oversized paper towel with a hole in the middle to put....umm...the member through and then you can wank away w/o any problems
Dumb But Tough, Jan 20 2006

       My Computer
..A:\ Floppy dick drive
..C:\ Hard dick drive

       I/O error: Please insert a dick into drive K   

       Oh, it is endless! Good idea!
phundug, Jan 20 2006

       I thought this idea would be a sketch artist who draws you while you wank.
benfrost, Jan 21 2006

       I love this idea for the sheer cheek, [+]
Mr Phase, Jan 21 2006

       Pure filth. Why not make a piss drawer while you're about it?
wagster, Jan 21 2006

       Thought this might be a rather monochrome version of Jackson Pollack's work, performed in very short bursts.
coprocephalous, Jan 21 2006

       Shouldn't the drawer have a hole in it?
Ling, Jan 24 2006

       That's just wrong.   


shapu, Jan 24 2006

       WANK: Worms Against Nuclear Killers (worm virus released on the VMX network SPAN in October 1989)
skinflaps, Jan 24 2006

       This is the most morally reprehensable thing I have ever laid eyes on. I'll take one for my bedroom.
notmarkflynn, Jan 24 2006

       I would prefer a curtain around my desk for a discreet cleanup while guests come to visit. Perhaps a team of associates underneath the desk to clean me up while my meeting is taking place.
Jscotty, Jan 24 2006


       Hm. Combine this with an ATM-style interface and you have the ultimate 'hole in the wall. Or maybe we shouldn't go there...
bumhat, Jan 24 2006

       "Fustration is the mother of invention."
Letsbuildafort, Apr 14 2006

       Make sure there's enough room for some lemon scented wet-wipes.
AfroAssault, Apr 17 2006

       Be sure not to WANK the drawer shut in a hurry..you might get caught up..
Zen, Apr 18 2006


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