Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Tall Hat Social Ranking / Testosterone Study

Does wearing a tall had affect your testosterone level or do people with hight testosterone levels just wear big hats?
  [vote for,

Leaders have gotten where they are by wearing big hats for a long time. These hats signal that the person wearing it is:

1) Charged by God to keep you in line, 2) Pharaoh, 3) Emperor, 4) Admiral in her magesty's fleet, 5) A british cop, etc.

The first tribal leader might have proclaimed his status as such by balancing a scary looking tiger skull on his head. The democratic process would have been pretty simple back then. "Well, he's got a scary hat, guess he's in charge." Our current democratic process isn't much better.

Point is, big hats command respect, but what's the science behind it? If you wear the only big hat in a social group for a period of weeks, does your social status change? Do women find you more attractive? Do your testosterone levels go up?

The experiment would take place on a nice island someplace. Beaches, hot tubs, pools. I'll run things.

The test group would consist of 50 people. There would be 5 hats. These hats would be displayed for all to see for about a week. People would be free to look at the hats, discuss the hats, touch the hats but they could not put them on. At the end of that week, 5 random subjects would be selected, they would all get a hat. Then they'd be monitored for a month. Testosterone levels, body language clues as to perceived social status, attractiveness to the opposite sex etc.

Even if you learned nothing, it would be jolly good fun on a nice island with beaches, pools, bars and hot tubs. If you did learn something, it could really advance the science of hat/testosterone link studies.

And the women involved would be hot.

Hmm. Seemed more interesting at the party the other day where I got the idea. Doesn't translate into "non party" very well.

Eh, I'll leave it up.

doctorremulac3, Feb 09 2018

Charged by God to keep you in line... https://images-na.s...YSvdqL._UL1209_.jpg
[doctorremulac3, Feb 09 2018]

(?) Pharaoh http://thumbs4.ebay...b_lo2h2x42VZCsw.jpg
[doctorremulac3, Feb 09 2018]

Etc. https://i.ytimg.com...KYi4o/hqdefault.jpg
[doctorremulac3, Feb 09 2018]

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       //I'll run things//   

       Have you a hat to back that up? How tall, exactly?
pertinax, Feb 10 2018

       I'll bring a concertina top hat. Discreetly low at first, to avoid unnecessary conflict, its height can be increased in stages as the occasion demands. In a sudden crisis it will go all puffer-fish or frilly-lizard, and its top will start to curl over and bob menacingly in the direction of the challenge.   

       It might look a little odd worn with board shorts on a tropical island, but I'll broaden the brim to prevent sunburned shoulders.
pertinax, Feb 10 2018

       This admittadly is a dumb post, but I'll leave it up because I think the message: be wary of leaders who wear big hats, may be something to consider.
doctorremulac3, Feb 10 2018

       After the collapse of the Soviet Union, Margaret Thatcher's notorious Inter-Continental Ballistic Handbag was decommissioned under weapons limitation agreements, and can now be viewed (with suitable reverence) in Britain's Imperial War Museum - so you are indeed correct.   

       // I guess the fish-head shape had to come from somewhere. //   

       The french royal family. It's a well-known fact that for centuries, the heir-apparent to the french throne was referred to as the Dolphin, despite fact that dolphins are in fact mammals - not fish - but of course that's only to be expected from a rabble of garlic-chewing ignoramuses. This also neatly explains their development of the guillotine, and its subsequent employment to remove the heads of nobility, presumably prior to being boiled up into bouillabaisse.
8th of 7, Feb 11 2018

       Interesting Dagon theory, [bigs]. What's the primary source? (And no, [8th], I don't mean Shub-Niggurath).
pertinax, Feb 11 2018

       There are depictions of fish-headed gods, and their priests, in Sumerian and Akkadian wall friezes.   

       The rivers of the region, and the fish they produced, were critically important to the economy, being a major source of animal protein.   

       Besides, Shub-Niggurath is a goat - nothing at all to do with fish. Didn't you learn anything during your time at Miskatonic University in Arkham ? Go to Innsmouth, go directly to Innsmouth, do not pass "Go", do not collect a large quantity of priceless yet disturbingly-shaped gold adornments.   

       Worryingly, our usually unforgiving spell-checker recognizes "Shub-Niggurath", "Miskatonic" and "Arkham" as valid words without a whisper of complaint.
8th of 7, Feb 11 2018

       I refer, of course, to the attribution "Source of All Things". It's a "source" joke, not a "fish" joke.
pertinax, Feb 11 2018

       // It's a "source" joke, not a "fish" joke.// could also work as a "sauce" joke.
pocmloc, May 09 2023


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