Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Fewer ducks than estimates indicate.

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The Uvy

Restaurant with UV lights on tables
  (+5, -1)
(+5, -1)
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"Oh, we had such a lovely time at The Uvy, back then. They didn't have candles on their tables you know, they had these adorable little adjustable-wavelength light emitters, and Elmer Spontoon (he was such a hoot!), he would tune it to a near-UV wavelength, so our tablecloth would shine like the Ascension repeated all over again, ah me! And then he'd put on these cute orange-filter goggles, and he could see all sorts of things through em, like saliva, and blood, and so on, so you'd know if anyone had spat in your food! And Elmer once found a glowing patch in the Hollandaise, turned out a young man had masturbated into it. Elmer went through into the kitchen and opened up a can of whupass on him. That pore boy was beat up so bad, couldn't hardly speak after that. But apparently he was a commie. So. Still, The Uvy was a wonderful place. They should bring it back sometime, those emitters on tables? Eh, General Jnr? Why don't you do that?"
General Washington, Oct 02 2002

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       Quite like the idea, kind of thing I could take or leave really, but the writing style deserves a croissant, and possibly a little silver star, and a smiley face.
Zircon, Oct 02 2002
  

       "Gee, Paw - that's a swell plan. Let's call it the Paranoia Bar and Grill, and have kitchen-cams on all the tables so we can watch every move those damn' commies make."   

       No more Coq Au Nan or semenolina!
whimsickle, Oct 02 2002
  

       Who told you about the Paranoia Bar & Grill?
General Washington, Oct 02 2002
  

       I thought everyone knew about it. "The Paranoia Bar and Grill: We Know What You Want"
whimsickle, Oct 02 2002
  

       Monica L. would do well to stay clear of Uvy.
FarmerJohn, Oct 02 2002
  

       Mm. I believe semen disseminates light under > 320nm wavelength, or UVA. Other bodily fluids flouresce under UVB. We wouldn't want UVC in there, that's a bit nasty, and as for the UVF, well they're banned for life.
General Washington, Oct 02 2002
  
      
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