Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Thigh silencing wax

Stop trouser noise
  [vote for,

NB: Twinkie eaters - for "trousers" read "pants". Ditto "fibre", etc.

Corduroy is bad. Newly washed denim sometimes does this. Weird and expensive "technical" fibres do it deliberately to annoy. Baggy is more likely. It might just be because my legs are fat and lacking in muscle tone.

Yes, trousers that make a noise when you walk. It's embarrassing, and I suspect it causes wear on the inside of the thigh where they rub. Aside from wearing trendy teflon-coated trews, the only answer seems to be wax or some other transparent lubricant you can apply to the inside of your trouser legs near the top to reduce friction and avoid that John Wayne stance. You might only have to wax protruding seams on many clothes. I'm off to get a candle and some sandpaper.

pottedstu, Sep 21 2001

Just pronk
Page 3: "In a pronk gait, all legs move together." [mouseposture, Jun 05 2010]


       Well, I don't know about the squeaking, but I do know that the crotch of trousers wears out with alarming speed. (Again, that may be a personal issue). Try sewing in a gusset.
lewisgirl, Sep 21 2001

       No, I've heard other people do this. It is the noise that is the worrying part. It's like squeaky shoes, except from your groin and sounding different.
pottedstu, Sep 21 2001

       Bill Cosby had a routine about corduroy trousers going vffft, vffft, vffft as one walked. Indeed a chronic problem for the trouseriferous populations of the world. Note that Scots wearing traditional garb do not have this difficulty, nor do Polynesians or nudists. One could emigrate or convert, I suppose.
Dog Ed, Sep 21 2001

       Thanks for the back-up, Dog Ed. Luckily my trousers seem to have shut up. It must have been a "just out of the wash" thing. Maybe fabric conditioner would fix it.
pottedstu, Sep 21 2001

       the scots do have this problem but with them its squeaky legs - a genetic hiccup I believe   

       lg I have tried sewing in a gusset but its not very comfortable and because it is a limited space, you cannot use a very long piece of cotton. a sewing machine is out of the question.
po, Sep 22 2001

       Silicone spray? It is used in garment manufacture so is probably quite safe! Will also help to protect the fabric against dampness - very useful in the crotch (hmm - why?).
snagger, Sep 22 2001

       or better yet... custard spray.
absterge, Sep 23 2001

       Spray, lubricant? That'll be WD-40. Having purchased some recently and geekily read the can, I can report that it has been Silicone free since it was invented 50 years ago.
Loris, May 25 2005

       + gotta love it! an oldie, but goodie!!
xandram, Jun 04 2010

       If you move both legs at the same time, this problem does not arise.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 04 2010

       Shorter [MB]: "Just pronk." <link>
mouseposture, Jun 05 2010

       If a sewing machine is out of the question, po, how about thigh girdles?
outloud, Jun 06 2010

       If I knew I was going to learn the definition of pronking today I would have worn a nicer shirt.   

       <searching through closet>   

       Stotting is another word for the same, it would seem.
MikeD, Jun 07 2010

       <tmi?> Many years ago, in college, I learned from my girlfriend the advantages of our both wearing corduroy pants and the resultant pleasures of pelvic juxtaposition and slow movement. </tmi?>
csea, Jun 07 2010

       Small world, [csea]! Your girlfriend taught me the same thing.
MikeD, Jun 07 2010


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