h a l f b a k e r y
This ain't rocket surgery.
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Fire retardant pants with an electronic igniter installed on the
rear. The igniter is installed just above a zipper slot on the
seat of the pants.
The igniter would function just like that of a gas stove.
The wearer would have an on and off switch.
On those days when the wearer feels gassy
he/she can deploy
the discreet zipper and activate the igniter. When gas is
released by the Sparky Pants wearer a flaming backfire will be
||Wouldn't it be safer to vent it to a burnoff stack
running up along your back to above the top of your
head? I'm assuming the wearer doesn't care what
people think at this point any way.
||That way if you still wanted to impress the ladies
you could bend over and offer them a light when
they pulled a cigarette out. "Allow me" FOOWHOOSH!
"Oh, sorry, just roll her around on the ground a little
||a Burnoff Stack would make an excellent peripheral,
sure to amplify potential impact as i am sure it could
also be engineered to increase the audible sound of
each burnoff event maybe like a trumpet.
||You'd certainly get people's attention.
||I wouldn't wear it to important events though.
Graduations, award ceremonies, coronations, that
sort of thing.
||Connected to a portable lie detector AND that childhood taunt of "Liar, liar, pants on fire!" could come true.
( Might need to add a butane cylinder for when the potential liar isn't feeling very gaseous.)