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Thin coating

of Marmite.
  (+4, -5)
(+4, -5)
  [vote for,

The annual production of Marmite is sufficient to cover Wales to a depth of 25 microns. I put it to you that this is a wasted opportunity.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 20 2008

It begins... http://www.stevesun...20Welsh%20Corgi.jpg
[ConsulFlaminicus, Jan 20 2008]

Wales http://www.jasperff...sovietreppage1.html
A place to have wars. [angel, Jan 21 2008]

King Offa's dyke http://www.offasdyke.demon.co.uk/dyke.htm
[Ling, Jan 21 2008]

Genetic differences - English/Welsh http://news.bbc.co....s/wales/2076470.stm
[Ling, Jan 21 2008]


       marmite on lamb? yuk.
po, Jan 20 2008

       Nice choice of category, however. Might be kind of slippery.
csea, Jan 20 2008

       No no no, po. No, po, no. Po, no. There are 10.9 million sheep in Wales, and the average area of a sheep (as viewed from above) is 0.34 square metres, giving a total sheepage of about 3.7 million square metres, as compared to the area of Wales of about 270 billion square metres. Hence, only a minuscule proportion of the Marmite will be deposited on sheep.   

       Incidentally, to forestall the obvious jokes: (1) yes, this is approximately 5 sheep for every Welshman and (2) yes, I know Marmite would wash off the whales as they swam.   

       Oh, and sp.: Marmite (proper noun).
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 20 2008

       //5 sheep for every Welshman// Shirley, some have more than others - I imagine some guys have hundreds of the prettier ones? Do Welshwomen not have any at all?
ConsulFlaminicus, Jan 20 2008

       Marmite on lamb, not yuk! Marmite, the French (the bastards) word, refers to a pot used for the reduction of stock or soup for added flavour. The pot often had legs to remove it from the direct heat and allow slow evapouration. The delicious outside of a slow roasted lamb can be duplicated (not entirely) more quickly by the basting of a marmite based sauce. The recipe: Marmite, coca cola, mint sauce (vinegrette type) dash of mustard. (quantities witheld due to copyright infringements)
4whom, Jan 20 2008

       Aren't the Welsh thick-skinned enough as it is? Although the Prince of Wales becomes the, perhaps more appropriate, Prince of Darkness?
4whom, Jan 20 2008

       I oppose this on the grounds that in order to obtain my Marmite I would have to lick Wales. I am not prepared to do this (for reasons which should be obvious).
angel, Jan 20 2008

       OK, Angel. You can have the Marmite that we save by not covering the sheep. Deal?
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 20 2008


       In World War One, the 105mm shells fired by German field howitzers exploded with a very distinctive large cloud of black smoke. In trench slang, British troops refered to them as "Coalboxes" or "Jack Johnsons"(after a famous black boxer of that era). The French (bastards) referred to them as "Marmites" (lit.: 'cauldron').   


       We are wasted on you lot.
8th of 7, Jan 20 2008

       Rumour has it that you're wasted pretty much everywhere.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 20 2008

       It's what Wales was made for. [+]
xenzag, Jan 20 2008

       // Rumour has it //   

       "This is Rumour Control, here are the facts ......."   

       The rumours to which you refer are completely and entirely incorrect. Mostly.   

       // It's what Wales was made for. //   

       Damn, is it ? We always hoped that Wales could be like Belgium, a place to have wars in where it didn't matter if the place got trashed.
8th of 7, Jan 20 2008

       Greenpeace isn't gonna like this.   

       I respectfully refer the honourable Mr. 2 Fries to my earlier annotation on this very topic.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 20 2008

       [8th of 7] You have never been to Belgium?
zeno, Jan 21 2008

       Finally something that goes with my bread flip-flop idea.
marklar, Jan 21 2008

       However, Wales is a fractal surface and so the actual quantity of Marmite required will tend towards infinity.
hippo, Jan 21 2008

       Mmmmmmm, infinite Marmite, mmmmmmm   

       // You have never been to Belgium? //   

       Many times.
8th of 7, Jan 21 2008

       //We always hoped that Wales could be like Belgium, a place to have wars in where it didn't matter if the place got trashed.//

angel, Jan 21 2008

       Speaking of wars, consider Offa's Dyke between England and Wales. Some say it was to keep the Welsh out, but others say it was to keep the sheep in*. Many wars have been started by those who openly speculated the purpose of the construction in wrong company.   

       *Obviously, they've all managed to escape.
Ling, Jan 21 2008

       //I thought "Belgium" was an Old High German proper noun for "speedbump"?//   

       It used to be. Then, sometime in the forties it's usage became more like "shortcut".
Jinbish, Jan 21 2008

       //Doesn't Wales get a good licking every time they take the field?//

Probably a legacy of their first captain.
angel, Jan 21 2008

       // more like "shortcut".//   

       Earlier than that - 1914 - see also under "Schlieffen Plan".
8th of 7, Jan 21 2008

       (Ah right. That wily Kaiser. Fair enough. Thought I'd play safe and avoid Ypres etc.)
Jinbish, Jan 21 2008

       William II was (like most European royals) a fairly dim monarch who fell into the clutches of scheming politicians. Just because his policies resulted in the unnecessary death of millions of inncocent people, that's not a justification for revilling him; one might as well attack George W. Bush on the same grounds.......
8th of 7, Jan 21 2008

       [marked-for-deletion] Recipe.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Jan 21 2008

       I have nothing against Wilhelm II. I just didn't want to call Passchendaele a shortcut!
Jinbish, Jan 21 2008

       It was Douglas Haig's conception of a "shortcut" to the U-Boat bases on the Belgian coast.   

       Maybe he should have looked at the map a little more carefully.   


       "But hey, we're all in the EU now..... what's 232,000 needlessly-slaughtered young men between friends ?"   

8th of 7, Jan 21 2008

       //But hey, we're all in the EU now..... what's 232,000 needlessly-slaughtered young men between friends ?// I can't help but feel that a modest and essentially benign proposal to bemarmite Wales has led us on a wild herring chase without a paddle.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 21 2008

       I think the sheep are an entirely different kettle of fish. It was Po who brought up lamb. (I can't blame her - I too would bring up lamb if it were coated in Marmite.) In fact, sheep are by no means an integral part of the process.   

       The problem with Belgium is that it is about 50% larger than Wales (as reflected by it's having two nations and three vowels). This would compromise our ability to achieve a contiguous coating, or would overstretch our resources.   

       Also, I rather like Belgium and the Belgianese - they make quite remarkably good chips, and apparently they have seventeen breweries for every man, woman and dog.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 21 2008

       //As for licking sheep... I'll send you a few New Zealanders.//
Just 'coz we have 12 sheep per person (it was 20-per in the mid '80's...).
neutrinos_shadow, Jan 21 2008

       I love Marmite as much as the next man (or in all likelihood considerably more), but the problem here is your choice of country (or principality or whatever Wales is these days).   

       There's a Welsh legend that the Devil has been ordered to count every blade of grass in Wales, as punishment for his mischief.   

       I want to know more about whether covering the grass with Marmite will make it easier for the devil to say, "I'm done! Can't see any more grass to count!" and get back to stirring up trouble. Are you one of his minions trying to trick us into helping him?
imaginality, Jan 21 2008

       [imaginality], if you're trying to drag this proposal down into fantasy and comedy, I shan't be following you.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 21 2008

       No, but we are ...
8th of 7, Jan 21 2008

       //Just 'coz we have 12 sheep per person (it was 20-per in the mid '80's...).// Each New Zealandese has got through 8 sheep in 20 years?
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 21 2008

       But what about the vegetables ?
8th of 7, Jan 22 2008


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