Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Toast By Post

Convenient breakfast for those who can't cope with mornings
  (+14, -3)(+14, -3)
(+14, -3)
  [vote for,

SCENARIO 1: You're a commuter. Every morning, your alarm goes off at 6am so that you can get up and get ready in time to catch your 7am train to work.

Unfortunately, every morning, when your alarm goes off at 6am so that you can get up and get ready in time to catch your 7am train to work, you switch it off and go back to sleep.

Suddenly you wake up and realise that it's 6.45am, it takes you about ten minutes to get to the station, and you're not up, ready, or anything even resembling vertical.

You have a decision - eat breakfast and risk almost certainly missing the train, or go without and pay extortionate amounts for food on the train. Or you could not have anything at all, but you wouldn't want that, would you?

What you need is Toast By Post. In the early hours of every weekday morning, the Toast By Post couriers zoom around major cities, dropping little heat-sealed foil sachets through letterboxes. When you get up in the morning, after your usual lie-in and ensuing panic about missing the train, you can just drag yourself out of bed (remembering to put your jacket on the right way) and leave for the station, taking the sachet with you. Once safely on the train, you simply rip open the sachet, remove your two slices of hot buttered toast (by post) and munch away. Yum!

SCENARIO 2: You're a student. You had a great night out last night, and the night before that actually, but you're beginning to feel the effects of it now. Plus, you've just remembered you've got an exam tomorrow morning.

You stagger out of bed, noting that it's gone 11am, and attempt to calibrate your hands and eyes enough to pour some cereal into a bowl. This fails when you tip the box too far and it all pours onto the counter. Your efforts to open a tin of baked beans are thwarted when you discover that (for some unfathomable reason which seemed hilarious last night) your tin opener isn't where you left it. And we won't even consider attempting to get out of the front door and round the corner to a cafe.

Luckily, you'd thought ahead. At that moment, the letterbox clatters and you remember the Toast By Post order you placed on Friday afternoon. Hungrily, you tear open the sachet, to discover not only your two slices of toast (by post) but also a complimentary serving of jam, to help you return to some sense of normality.

JCzech, Jun 12 2008

Toast in the Post http://www.toastinthepost.com/gallery.php
A little gallery [skinflaps, Jun 12 2008]

Breakfast in the post http://www.toastmovie.com/
A short movie [skinflaps, Jun 12 2008]

The Toast Shop http://www.thetoastshop.co.uk/
The original purveyors [skinflaps, Jun 12 2008]

The way this would go down at my house. http://video.google...&hl=en&sitesearch=#
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jun 12 2008]

Faster and further... Orbital_20toaster
[normzone, Jan 18 2010]

Dabbawala http://www.mydabbaw.../aboutdabbawala.htm
For some reason I'm reminded of these. [Wrongfellow, Jan 19 2010]

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       Hmm. To solve the pet problem, the sachets would need to be made of that really tough open-with-scissors type plastic... but then it removes the entire convenience element. I used to have a cage to protect my letters from the passing hungry cat...
JCzech, Jun 12 2008

       I presume your clientele don’t like microwaves, convection or normal ovens with timers.   

       Your selection of food products already have been tested packaged and marketed by NASA vendors. All you need is someone to toast and deliver.
CwP, Jun 13 2008


       I want orange curd on mine.
squeak, Jun 13 2008

FlyingToaster, Jun 13 2008

       I would also like a box of hot coffee. +
Amos Kito, Jun 13 2008

       // a cage to protect my letters from the passing hungry cat... //   

       Cat cage ... good idea.   

       #include <EOSSACR.H>
8th of 7, Jun 13 2008

       I get up at 5am, so my toast would be cold! ...anyway, I can't eat that early in the morning.
Welcome to the halfbakery none the less.
xandram, Jun 13 2008

       SCENARIO 3: You are a genetically engineered chimpanzee named Omega, the last sentient being on earth after an epidemic of alien virus thingers. From space, you know. You lead a lonely existence in the ruins of civilization, subsisting on packets of Toast by Post, which are fortified with vitamins and iron, and boron, which it turns out chimps need. Your family is an assembly of small plastic figurines (one in every package!) which you decorate elaborately and then film in stop motion video as they move about their shining foil packaged homes.
bungston, Jun 13 2008

       You've been nibbling those funny mushrooms again, haven't you, [bungston] ?
8th of 7, Jun 13 2008

       [xandram] - it's heat-sealed, so it stays hot until you open it.
JCzech, Jun 15 2008

       Well, call me a spoilsport, but this idea has the same appeal as cold toast. The name was made up by someone else, toast in the mail was made up by someone else, the only thing left was heat-retentive sachets and time-conscious couriers.   


       Also, my mailbox is exposed to high winds and cold rain, so this would never work. Cold toast has a negative appeal. Hot toast would require magic technology.
mylodon, Jun 16 2008

       //Hot toast would require magic technology //   

       .... or maybe just a heated mailbox ?
8th of 7, Jun 16 2008

       So, not a drunken postman arriving on your doorstep, raising a glass and shouting "Good Health!" or "The Queen, Duke of Lancaster"?
coprocephalous, Jun 16 2008

       No. More likely, a can of Carlsberg Special Brew. But the principle is correct.
8th of 7, Jun 16 2008

       Prost by Post?
mylodon, Jun 16 2008

       Proust by Post ?   

       À la recherche du pain grillé perdu ?   

       An ideal Hors D'oeuvre for Burns Night, mayhap ?
8th of 7, Jun 16 2008

       I live in Phoenix Arizona. During the summers, toasting is not an issue. I worry more about bursting into flames.
CwP, Jun 16 2008

       Oh come on! There need to be better reasons to be producing that much waste! (Fuel, food containers...) Scenario 1: You have the choice to eat or sleep longer. If you really want to eat, GET OUT OF BED. Either that or just organize a little breakfast club for the kiddies at work. Scenario 2: "Tsk tsk tsk. Should have thought of all that before the great night out, hun?" These are words you've heard and words that make up some of the fun of getting completely trashed. Admit it, consequences add to the fun and novelty of drinking. Without these little blips, it becomes a rather dull affair, don't you think?
ideillogical, Jan 18 2010

       //I worry more about bursting into flames//   

       Iraq fostered the same fears ... In more way than one.   

       Anyways, the pet-eating-the-toast issue really isn't an issue. If you don't have time to feed yourself, then you probably don't have time to feed and water a pet either. Ergo; the pet will cease to be a threat to your breakfast, sooner or later.
MikeD, Jan 19 2010


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