Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Apply directly to forehead.

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Tour De Compton

Exercise your way through bad neighborhoods
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Some fitness centers have added screens showing mountainous scenery in front of the stationary bikes to "help" people get into riding the exercise bike. Problem is, where's the incentive?

Replace the mountainous scenery with footage from some of the worst neighborhoods (i.e. areas of Compton, Watts, Detroit, etc.). While "riding" through these "neighborhoods," these "people" "will" "have" "to"---whoa, sorry-- people will have to pedal a lot faster to avoid being mugged, shot, or possibly eaten by a cannibal.
AfroAssault, Oct 03 2001


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       One problem: the owners of the gym are likely to have fleeced the unlucky punters already, leaving them with no money to be stolen and no reason to run/cycle from the artificial muggers.   

       Otherwise, a big fatty croissant for you to work off.
sdm, Oct 03 2001
  

       I think 'fro will go for a fatty. Set it in a Big House like Corcoran Prison's exercise yard. Guards were notorious for putting Inmate sworn enemies in there - almost certain to be a melee - then the guards would shoot to kill.
thumbwax, Oct 03 2001
  

       Alternatively, keep the mountinous scenery, but introduce Natural Disasters. How fast would *you* cycle away from a forest fire/ plague of locusts/ tsunami?
Optional extra: Violently shaking cycle machine for when using earthquake footage.
hippo, Oct 03 2001
  

       can they get nails in the tyres?
technobadger, Oct 03 2001
  

       Yes, then you have to run on the treadmill.
AfroAssault, Oct 03 2001
  

       This is all beginning to sound like the intro to Police Squad. Perhaps the bikes could be linked to your bank account. The faster you cycle, the faster your account balance rises. When you're not cycling, your balance decreases.
<pauses to think this through a bit><mental nod to Self-Powered Health Clubs>
The logical outcome of this would be that everyone would be cycling for most of the day, so not much productive work would get done. Answer: hook all the bikes up to the National Grid. With no industry (due to nobody going to work anymore) there'd be a massive energy surplus which could be exported for shed loads of cash, the National Health Service would be far less of a drain on resources due to everyone being incredibly fit, there'd be far less traffic on the roads and power stations (with their associated mining & pollution aspects) would be a thing of the past. Thus there would be a sound financial basis for our new nation of cyclists and it would also be beneficial to the environment.
DrBob, Oct 03 2001
  

       Maybe you'd better think about that one more time, DrBob.
sdm, Oct 03 2001
  

       //there'd be far less traffic on the roads//- leading to less road repairs and subsequent Flocking Road Cone unemployment. Gangs of disengranchised FRCs would roam the streets looking for trouble...
hippo, Oct 04 2001
  

       Well there's always some unrest & and violence during times of great social change. It's just the price we have to pay for progress. Perhaps FRC's could be re-trained to guard the holes & bunkers on golf courses?

sdm: Do I have to?
DrBob, Oct 04 2001
  

       this reminds me of the gameboy game "paperboy/papergirl"
po, Oct 05 2001
  

       The flocking road cones could tend the zen garden sand traps, of course.
wiml, Oct 07 2001
  

       Froggy_Juggalette Tour De Troit?
greennightmonkey, Apr 10 2003
  

       I used CPM for touch-'n-gos when I was doing my PPL training. It looks lovely from the air.   

       Strangely, there's a frequency clash with Peris Valley (?) so I'd be interrupted in my patter by announcements of 'jumpers away'. The first coupple of times I looked around frantically for canopies, before I realised how absurd skydiving into Compton was.   

       I wonder if I can get a postal forwarding address based in Compton. That way I can give out my address without fear unwanted guests will ask to stay over.
FloridaManatee, Apr 11 2003
  


 

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