Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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U-Boat holiday cruise

Just for fun
  [vote for,

Build a submarine based on a German Type IX hull. Incorporate modern equipment and technology, but give it the "look and feel" of a 1940's vessel.

Take small groups of paying passengers on "U-boat cruises". These can be as short as a few hours, or as long as a week or more.

The paying passengers can get to play "Captain", and fire practice torpedoes at an obliging "freighter"; but then they get hunted by a "destroyer" (actually, the same ship) with Asdic and simulated depth charges.

Try your hand at navigation, being a diesel engineer, or working the hydroplanes and rudder. Help reload the torpedoes, take a turn as the cook, stand watches on the conning tower, or man the hydrophones.

Live on tinned food and learn to tolerate the smell of oil, hot electrics, and unwashed humans in a sealed confined space. Not necessarily pleasant - but an adventure.

8th of 7, Sep 09 2014

Opfioussly zer arre zome Germans shtill enssuziasstiche about ze zekond vurld wahr https://www.youtube...watch?v=KqFViPZOk5w
You habben zich ze zound trackken all cutout fur you. [pashute, Sep 11 2014]

"Who the hell wants to go down there" https://www.youtube...7IqdInqJMs&t=51m03s
[pashute, Sep 11 2014]

Background Music for the Voyage http://www.youtube....watch?v=FsynSgeo_Uo
[monojohnny, Sep 18 2014]

Das Boot http://www.amazon.c...2&keywords=Das+Boot
Cameraderie, terror, claustrophobia, terror, glory, terror, fear, boredom, heartbreak & some more terror. Gets my vote! [DrBob, Sep 18 2014]


       Or go on a Carnival cruise and experience much of the same...
RayfordSteele, Sep 09 2014

       //Or go on a Carnival cruise and experience much of the same...//   

       nah, that's a kind of saccharine, Ersatz squalor. Just not the same.   

       I won't be on the U-Boat cruise myself, however I'm more than happy to participate from the pilots seat of a rocket carrying Mosquito U boat hunter. I find the "back in time for tea and medals" mission profile more to my liking.
bs0u0155, Sep 09 2014

       You're hired.   

       (It's actually a Beechcraft Baron mocked up to look like a Mozzie, and the medals are actually chocolate coins, but the tea is real).
8th of 7, Sep 09 2014

       I'd be interested in any of the longer, but more comfortable, cold war cruises you have. I'll take a typhoon class, with access to the pool, occasional missile drills and full access to the vodka.
bs0u0155, Sep 09 2014

       Late availability, we can offer you a special deal on a cruise in a Hotel class, with free entry to the reactor room, frequent radiation drills, and full access to the iodine tablets. Will that do ?   

       //Or go on a Carnival cruise and experience much of the same...//   

       Actually, it's a Costa cruise, but it only half-submerges. Remember, the Captain should be the last person to leave. If he passes you on the way out, you should immediately assume the rank of Acting Captain.
8th of 7, Sep 09 2014

       Sounds like fun...until you notice that your watch has stopped and you're not sure of the day, so you ask the bosun and he screams at you in German, and then you notice that he's soaking wet and got blood streaming from a gash in his head, his voice immediately drowned out by the jarring growl of dive-dive-dive from the ooga horn.
the porpoise, Sep 09 2014

       Oh, so you've been on the Woolwich free ferry as well, have you ?
8th of 7, Sep 09 2014

       Yes, but it's less claustrophobic, safer, cleaner, and considerably cheaper.
8th of 7, Sep 09 2014

       //Build a submarine based on a German Type IX hull. Incorporate modern equipment and technology//   

       That would be an unnecessary expense. Given that military subs are quite well-known for not having windows or balconies, the whole thing could be done without the need for submarination, as long as you can somehow fake the "boarding" phase of the operation.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 09 2014

       ...and watch Whermacht propaganda movies burning down villages, while listening to a scratched record of Richart Wagner's Valkerie. Notice the suspicious stop, letting in some passengers with vaguely familiar features, who are quickly ushered in.   

       It seems die haben ein keine soundtrackken alle kuttout fur you. Zee link. Danke
pashute, Sep 11 2014

       //the whole thing could be done without the need for submarination//   

       I think that simulating surface running during a North Atlantic storm might be more expensive than surface running during a North Atlantic storm.   

       I suppose you could simulate the North Atlantic using a section of the Southern Ocean... but just changing the water to the appropriate salinity would be challenging. Moving the stars about would be really tricky.
bs0u0155, Sep 11 2014

       //submarination //   

       Is that like the "suspension of disbelief" ?
8th of 7, Sep 11 2014

       no, it's the use of deep sea pressures to increase the tenderizing effect of a good marinade.
bs0u0155, Sep 11 2014

       //Is that like the "suspension of disbelief" ?//   

       I believe that was "Supermarionation" or, to give it it's correct name "Suuuupermarionation!!!". It was the inspiration, of course, for Supermario.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 11 2014

       Not Superman, then ?
8th of 7, Sep 11 2014

       Pretty sure not.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 11 2014

       I like the idea of a landbased fake version of this. Sort of like Disney's old 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea ride. That ride was so awesome. I can close my eyes and look out of my 6 year old eyes and see the hull of the Nautilus, beckoning.
bungston, Sep 11 2014

       // 6 year old eyes //   

       Naughty [bungs], now there is a child who will be blind for life because of your selfishness.   

       Unless, of course, you've been robbing body parts from corpses (again), in which case OK, carry on.   

       <Hannibal Chew>   

       "I just do eyes, ju-, ju-, just eyes … just genetic design, just eyes …"   

       </Hannibal Chew>
8th of 7, Sep 12 2014

       Some basic research suggests that U-boats were about 8 million marks. Some slightly less basic research suggests that this is between $80-110 million USD in present cash. If you wanted to build one, could it actually be done cheaper now? The Uboat was pretty advanced engineering for the time, but now, half the stuff is off the shelf, engines, motors.... even the red light bulbs. I'm contacting a far eastern shipyard for a quote on a uboat. Arriving in any given harbour in the South of France is a game of status and one upmanship. You win if everyone knows you can put one up their ship.
bs0u0155, Sep 12 2014

       you can get a fully functional nuclear submarine complete with staff and functional torpedoes, made in China, on Alibaba for less than 40 dollars a piece but you have to buy at least 5 units, and the shipment and customs are on you.   

       They come complete with instructions in Chinese, translated from the original (unknown source for security reasons) via Google translate, so presumably, if you pass it back through Google translate you'll get the original. If you follow the instructions carefully, especially the safety precautions, you receive a year of warranty and your money back if not satisfied, within 40 days after they receive the returned submarines, no questions asked.
pashute, Sep 13 2014

       What [bungston] said. (I'm finding that just reading thru all the annos, and then deciding on whom's I most gel with, makes it easier to read a lot of ideas in one days time, then to spend time thinking on my own. :-)
blissmiss, Sep 13 2014


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