Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Ultimate Public Toilet Seat

No sound, smell, or droplets.
  (+3, -5)
(+3, -5)
  [vote for,

This public toilet seat would remain upright (via springed hinge) until pushed down to sit on. This prevents lazy men (or squating OCD women) from accidentally urinating on the seat. When the seat is down, an internal filtered fan is activated which removes odors and provides sound-masking white noise. (bonus idea: a white board and tethered marker on the stall wall for constantly changing amusements).
SparkBugg, Nov 29 2006

Japanese Toilets http://en.wikipedia...ki/Toilets_in_Japan
If you just thought of it, then they've already invented it and put it into mass production. [DrBob, Nov 30 2006]


       You have your heart in the right place, but you haven't taken into account the really, really extreme seat-o-phobics of the female variety. When I was in college, we had a problem with someone missing the toilet in the girls' restroom. At first we just thought it was a drunk thing, but it kept happening. It was discovered that one of our hallmates was so freaked out about sitting on the toilet that she would perch with her feet on the rim and empty her bladder (roughly) into the toilet that way.   

       I'm not as bad as this girl was, but I don't like touching my butt to a surface that a stranger's butt has touched. I like to line the seat with toilet paper (or those seat covers, if provided) before I have my go, so to speak. I'd rather not have to touch the seat to do it. I'm glad you're addressing the problem, though. Just no bun from me. Sorry.
Twenty Dollar Duck, Nov 29 2006

       WTF are //squating OCD women//?
squeak, Nov 29 2006

       I wonder if you could have detachable seats that you put into a sterilizer by the hand dryer or something.
Zimmy, Nov 29 2006

       Or have portable ones that you can carry around with you - Never experience bathroom anxiety again! Your Using patented hygena-throne technology, Porta-stilt-seat folds away to a convenient size, and now comes complete with a beautifully designed wood-style handle! Minimum 3" separation between you and ungodly seepage - Guaranteed! Simply assemble Porta-stilt-seat directly over the filthy convenience in order to create a personalised and disease free stilted washroom panier for your comfort and delightment!   

       And from the original Japanese version:

       "Or portable ones which you can carry with you - with the worry of the bathroom which is not experienced under any condition for the second time it is not good! Your use technology of the hygena throne, takes patent in convenient size of the Porta stilt seat fold, perfection comes the steering wheel of the wooden style which now is beautifully designed! Minimum of 3" you who are guaranteed and the separation which is during impious permeating -! For your consolation and delightment panier freely it was personalized and assemble the Porta stilt seat with respect to impure convenience directly simply in order to draw up the exaggerated washroom of the sickness!"
zen_tom, Nov 29 2006

       The Japanese also have a round toilet seat that rotates after each use, passing it through a cleaning head.
ldischler, Nov 30 2006

       Just carry an entire toilet around with you - then you'll never have to worry about strangers' bottom-germs and if there's a queue for the bathroom you can set it up and use it right where you are.
hippo, Nov 30 2006

       Oh foolish child, SparkBugg. Do you not know that the Japanese have already invented every possible feature for your toilet? Toilet lids (equipped with proximity sensors) that open or close depending on the location of the user are very old hat. (linky)
DrBob, Nov 30 2006

       // I wonder if you could have detachable seats //   

       As I posted in the detachable shower head idea.
Chefboyrbored, Nov 30 2006

       Forget the strangers! I wouldn't want to put my butt where another man's butt as been.
Jscotty, Nov 30 2006

       [Chef], I only just now got to read that idea. I meant to, but didn't get around to it until it was not on recent & I couldn't remember the name of it. (Sorry about that).
Zimmy, Nov 30 2006

       Zimmy no appology needed! I was just giving myself credit like a big headed idiot.
Chefboyrbored, Nov 30 2006

       Homeless shelter: 200+ men every night, eight stalls, nine urinals. Yes, there's a line waiting for each one. You get over your squeamishness in a hurry.   

       No shower curtains on the shower stalls, either.
elhigh, Nov 30 2006

       Now let's figure out a way to suck the piss from the stall floor. We all know about it. I once had this retarded kid piss on my feet from the next stall over. I could hear the dork laughing. Then there was this other guy who took his crap and smeared it on the walls and mirrors.   

       Yes. High school.
twitch, Nov 30 2006

       How about having an enclosed stall equipped with a drop out floor and a shower head so that after each use the floor would drop open and boiling water would spray down everything and simultaneously clean and disinfect the whole bathroom includeing the toilet?
Bane, Dec 01 2006

       //Now let's figure out a way to suck the piss from the stall floor.//   

       [twitch] I advise you not to suck piss up from the floor. It's dirty. And there may be rat's wee in it.
theleopard, Dec 01 2006

       That happened. I don't think I kicked him that hard though. He was walking by and the next thing I knew he was grabbing my nuts and staring at me. Then I let him have it. I was seriously tempted to throw him off the third floor.
twitch, Dec 01 2006


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