Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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"Iron Maiden" Bathtub

does NOT include spikes
  [vote for,

This bathtub has two large metal parts that are hinged like the classic "Iron Maiden" torture device (linked), except that it is mounted horizontally like a coffin. Each part contains a liner that constructed to closely match your body's form. The liner is removable; different people in the household have their own liners for this bathtub.

When you climb in and activate the closure sequence, your head remains outside the tub. You will use voice commands to specify various events, of which, obviously, one of the most important is the command to open it up so you can get out, after your bath is done.

When closed, the liners mesh and seal tightly. There will be perhaps one millimeter of space between your body and the liner, except at the neck area, where flexible material is used to seal the tub-opening there, where your head sticks out.

Perhaps you have heard that you can theoretically float a battleship in a cup of water (link)? Basically, if the battleship is placed in a precise hull-form-fitting container, water in-between the container and the ship can be very small in quantity, yet the ship can still float in that water.

Anyway, the advantage here is not so much about floating, but minimizing water usage while taking an actual bath. With voice commands you specify that soapy water should be injected into the space between your body and the liner of the bathtub. There should be both inlets and exits, and a flow of such soapy water should be able to clean you quickly.

Then you command the rinse sequence to begin, and next would be a drain sequence, and finally there could be a pressurized warm-dry-air breeze, after which you open the tub and climb out.

Vernon, Nov 18 2012

Iron Maiden http://en.wikipedia...en_(torture_device)
As mentioned in the main text [Vernon, Nov 18 2012]

Float a battleship in a cup of water http://www.wfu.edu/...r/DCS/FluidsDCS.htm
As mentioned in the main text. They might be cheating here, using a model of a battleship, or a stand-in for it. [Vernon, Nov 18 2012]


       What would be the advantage over a one-size-fits-all system ?   

       (personally I think a water-saving ablution would just end up with your entire body smelling of armpit and crotch, but whatever)
FlyingToaster, Nov 18 2012

       With only a millimetre of clearance,   

       (a) if you drink a pint of beer before entering, and if the clearance and sealing is as good as advertised, the tub is going to extrude your stomach out through your nose.   

       (b) the filling procedure will make satisfying farty noises.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 18 2012

       //does NOT include spikes// in which case it's pointless!
pocmloc, Nov 18 2012

       I have been considering a similar idea but it would be deployed in the vertical position.   

       There are establishments for those so frail that a bath can be a hazardous affair. In this case the recipient would just step into the device which would contain them up to armpit or neck level as claustrophobia allows and a misericord would afford support. A supervisor would be close to the device to offer reassurance and possibly to clean the parts outside the bath. A minimum amount of warm water and cleansing agent would be allowed in and then aeration applied to form bubbles and to raise the liquid level up to the top. A recycling jet could be deployed to pump water from the base of the unit and focus it on to the trunk parts of the body that might require extra cleansing power.   

       A second cleaning cycle would be followed by a rinse and then the happy bathee would step out into the embraces of a warm towel.   

       Analytical chemists are well used to washing precipitates in filter papers with successive applications of clean wash liquid in small amounts and I do not think that cross contamination would be a factor.   

       Adding to the massive water savings would be the potential for a quick turnaround and the experience might be sufficiently pleasurable for it to be looked forward to rather than dreaded.   

corvuscornix, Nov 18 2012

       Once we perfect the stillsuit, 'then' can we get back to synthesizing spice? (+)   


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