Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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armored trolly

super defensive trollies for the paranoid shopper
  [vote for,

I don't know about you, but sometimes, if I leave my trolley unattended for more than one minute, sometimes people mistake them for the discount carts and take things. other times the notice that the groceries i have placed in my cart happen to be close to what they are looking for, and just take the whole cart. other times, I get the really squeeky or dented ones that are outright ugly and may even have a few diseases causing fear of infecting the groceries. so I propose that carts have have heat sensing hadle-bars to detect when the shopper leaves the cart, after 15 seconds of alone time, the wheels lock up, and a top folds out to cover the groceries, and armor on the corners to prevent dings and possibly wheel trouble (possibly even a wheelie bar to prevent immature shoppers from popping wheelies in a supermarket, like me a few years ago...), a teflon coating on the bars to prevent snagged grocery bags when removed from the cart, a self cleaning system ( sprays alchohol on inside to kill germs, lysol maybe...) and stronger wheels with wheel gaurds to prevent bending and squeeking, and finally, the one thing that everyone must be expecting based on my previous posts- optional .50 caliber machine gun.
sergeant dukie, Dec 05 2002


       I'll give ya one for tenacity.
skinflaps, Dec 05 2002

       thanks, weapons seem to be my trademark...
sergeant dukie, Dec 05 2002

       Something like that Batmobile extendable armor plating perhaps...
RayfordSteele, Dec 05 2002

       Actually, I'd go for twin 70mm cannons myself, but I guess its all a matter of personal taste, Flares and Chaff?
Micky Dread, Dec 05 2002

       // twin 70mm cannons //   

       Showoff. With the ammo packs fully loaded, there's going to be no room in the trolley. Besides, you're more likely to want to engage soft-skinned targets at realtively short ranges. My choice would be an M71 in 5.56mm plus a 20mm Oerlikon. And I'll have the chaff and flares option, and an ECM pod.
8th of 7, Dec 06 2002

       No, no, no - just put a .25 -.06 on there - depending on the powderload & tip, you can get a clean kill on anything from a mousy neighb- I mean, squirrel to a bear of reasonable size - important considerations when you're trading pelts for cornputers.
thumbwax, Dec 06 2002

       Where X = "UN Resolution Number 1441", Mr President ?
8th of 7, Dec 06 2002

       UN Resolution 1441 is the one demanding that the Iraquis disclose any Naughty Things that may have rolled under the sofa during the last wild party and been forgotten about. However, the general view in the gutter press seems to be that Wee Georgie has a craving to use said resolution as a pretext for launching a pre-emptive strike.   

       Hence "take X and make it dangerous" ....
8th of 7, Dec 06 2002

       waugs: I think its a mostly non-related topic to which you gave a convenient sequiter.   

       'nother problem: squeaky, stuck wheels are mostly caused by detritus that gets caught in the spindles. Any ideas for fixing this?   

       Hmm...maybe if you used flamethrowers instead of projectile weapons, you could redirect the spray through the spindles periodically, leaving the (assumed metal or ceramic) wheels unscathed, but reducing crud to graphite-lube-like charcoal dust. Just a thought.   

       Nix the wheelie bars, though. I've had a few instances where I've had to make a cart "hop" over small obstacles or "climb" steps.
nick_n_uit, Dec 06 2002

       think of all the fun. *visions of supermarket battlefields littered with pouring milk, exploded soda cans, shot-up cereal boxes, cookies and peanut butter everywhere.....
sergeant dukie, Dec 06 2002


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