Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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baby bidet

easy cleanup
  [vote for,

this is a container of water with a baby-sized-saddle-shaped top, and a hole in the middle of the saddle. there is a small pump, which leads to a pipe situated directly below the hole. also, there is a fitting for a hose so that the container can be filled from a faucet.

after removing the diaper, the baby is placed on the saddle, you hit the 'wash' button and in a few seconds the soothing, luke-warm (soap is optional) spray removes the waste, and you have a clean, but wet, baby. after toweling or air-drying, the new diaper can be installed. waste water can be dumped into the toilet and flushed.

inspired by my cousin's tales of his little 7-month-old angel, who, now that she's on semi-solid foods, produces some nasty, smelly, liquidy goo that is probably banned in most industrialised countries.

mihali, Aug 16 2001



       When I changed my niece's diapers many years ago, I would just hold her unclean region under the bathtub faucet. Why do we need a separate appliance??
quarterbaker, Aug 16 2001

       From my perspective, without prior experience, this looks like a pretty appealing idea to me. I just learned that I'm going to be a father for the first time! (April 14 due date)
beauxeault, Aug 17 2001

       This idea might avoid rashes brought on by other, less perfect cleaning methods (those soapy wipes made my kid's bottom break out, as I recall).   

       Congratulations, beauxeault!
Dog Ed, Aug 17 2001

       Beauxeault shoots! He scores!!!!
cheeselikesubstance, Aug 17 2001

       Congrats, [bx].
I like Robin Williams' description of baby crap as 'equal parts toxic waste and velcro'.
angel, Aug 17 2001

       From these reactions, my mind is made up - I'm going to avoid procreating.
lewisgirl, Aug 17 2001

       Why not have it so you put the whole baby in, with the head sticking out the top like those 1-man saunas you can get.   

       High pressure jets could clean the baby and then hot air could be blown through to dry them off. Then just take the baby out and add a fresh nappie (dyper) and your done.   

       Would be best if it could just be placed on top of the toilet and attached to the taps with a pipe.   

       A large soap resovoir take liquide soap which is added to the heated water prior to washing.
CasaLoco, Aug 17 2001

       My thanks to all for your well-wishes.   

       Have a glass of beauxeaulais on me!
beauxeault, Aug 17 2001

       congratulations, bx! (by the by, a croissant for this idea too... though it might be more fun to place child in tub and take water gun of warm water to its heinie.. but not quite as handy)
Urania, Dec 03 2001

       I wonder if something like this couldn't be included in those baby-changing stations I see in public restrooms. Most of the plumbing is already there.
beauxeault, Dec 04 2001

       Your gonna love it. Best wishes, beauxeault.   

       Two words of advice when visiting the men's room lavatory with your new charge: shit-eatin grin.
reensure, Dec 04 2001

       Furthermore, I have absolutely no desire to see even this much.
angel, Dec 04 2001

       Congrats, [beauxeault]! - and [lg] , I bet you'll change your mind. You'll discover that you're the puppet of your genes.
hippo, Dec 04 2001

       I had a puppy in my jeans but that is another story - congratulations - thats 4 new bakers in the pipeline who is next?
po, Dec 04 2001

       [PS]: Elucidate, please.
bristolz, Dec 04 2001


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