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better Kung Fu-

cking helmet
  [vote for,

In sparring class, I have to lock my pretty little face down like it's the pink panther diamond, because of a sad and unfortunate dental history. I have a caged helmet with chin strap and guard, as well as the standard mouth guard. This makes it impossible to talk because my hands are gloved so I can't get my fingers through the grate to pull out the mouth guard and ask critical questions. In answer to my last question, "so is he the aggressor throughout or do we switch offense and defense" my teacher gave me a bemused smile and answered "horse stance." Incidentally, my dentist gives this same sort of oblique response to most of my gape-mouthed querries.

The proposal then is for a helmet that acts as a projector with a light front and center of the headgear and a rotating track of standard questions around the circumference (sorry if that's the wrong terminology, math people, I don't know if a sphere has a circumference or what). It's all controlled by a knob big enough that the begloved can turn it. The questions will be stenciled into metal gobos - like the cutouts one uses in theater lighting. You can get a set of pre-fab gobos as well as blanks that you can stencil yourself. Proposed questions:

Hits? Kicks? Both?

Single Strike or Combination?

Whose Blood?

If anyone can draw a picture of the kung fu-nctional helmet, I'd be so appreciative. Thanks.

pigtails_and_ponies, Apr 19 2007


       Captain Pike could have used something like this.
bungston, Apr 20 2007

       Or you could try coordinated winking. + for a hat that displays "OUCH"
skinflaps, Apr 20 2007

       Just wondering if sparring is the right sport for someone with an unfortunate dental history?
DrCurry, Apr 20 2007

       My mother wonders the same thing.
pigtails_and_ponies, Apr 20 2007

       I love it (+)
normzone, Apr 20 2007

       I like this idea. Can we change the input device somewhat from a large knob? Unless the large knob is on the extreme rear of the helmet? I don't want to break my hand on your knob. Erm, yeah.   

       Will you not need some kind of display device so that you can see the message you're projecting?
Noexit, Apr 20 2007

       Please keep your hands off of P&P's knobs.
Galbinus_Caeli, Apr 20 2007

       I love it. But why not use a handset inside the huge glove? Maybe that's a dumb question, but since I wasn't priveledged to learn kung-fu with a kung fu-   

       cking helmet, I wouldn't know.   

       A sturdy keyboard attached to your stomach might also work... and then you would get textual messages with each punch. "Oof" would probably look more like "jkfds" but oh well.
ye_river_xiv, Apr 20 2007

       Right. The last thing I want is intrusive knobs. Please feel free to bill my insurance [Noexit]. Also my lawyer wants a word with you.   

       I'm loath to move the controls to the back of the helmet since I can hardly reach it, but inside the glove works fine, and also requires bluetooth or other complicated, halbaker-friendly advents. Good call [ye_river_xiv].   

       And thanks for defending my honor [Galbinus_Caeli]. You are a prince among Caeli.
pigtails_and_ponies, Apr 21 2007

       //Also my lawyer wants a word with you.//   

       No need to bring a shark to a kung-fu fight.
Noexit, Apr 23 2007


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