Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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instant baby wipes

some kind of spray you can spray unto toilet paper to create baby wipes
  (+7, -5)
(+7, -5)
  [vote for,

imagine having to shit really bad. its not the best time or place. you're in school, class is out and people are just around. you make your way to the bathroom, and once your there you lock yourself in a stall and sit down.

now, the paper. its crap. utterly inhospitable, crumbles at times. its utter shit. and now what about your shit? this sucks.

not anymore...

you whip out a little spray bottle you bought at a duane reade or walgreens or whatever pharmacy fills your area. its some concoction of aloe vera, antibacterial foam, oil, bunch of shit. what it does, is you spary it unto a bit of rolled up toilet paper and it feels like a high quality baby wipe.

http://www.frugalvillage.com /home-and-family /parenting-and-pregnancy /187-homemade-baby-wipes .html

^that shows how to make em with paper towels soaked in a solution. why not take the solution and put it in a small spray bottle & sell it?

aburntoutgenius, Dec 29 2009

Homemade Baby Wipes http://www.frugalvi...ade-baby-wipes.html
[aburntoutgenius]'s link as a link. [phoenix, Dec 29 2009]


       I like, and come to think of it i could bake this easily. I may even do so.
nineteenthly, Dec 29 2009

       Toilet paper, especially the cheap kind, won't hold up.   

       -baby wipe addict ever since first deployment-
MikeD, Dec 29 2009

       Cotton wool, chamomile tea (properly prepared). Nothing else needed.
nineteenthly, Dec 29 2009

       [aburnoutgenius] - The keys to the lower left and right of your keyboard marked with the word "Shift" or an upwards-pointing arrow allow you to type what grown-ups call "capital letters".   

       sp. "onto", "it's", "you're", "spray", "them" (or " 'em", if you must).   

       Oh, and welcome to the HB.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Dec 29 2009

       I think he meant "unto", in the Biblical sense.
DrWorm, Dec 29 2009

       As in "as you would have others do"?
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Dec 29 2009

       Concerning capital letters, i personally consider them to be overrated and pointless. I use them because everyone else does and it's considered bad form not to, but really, what does their use achieve in clarity or comprehension? Many other scripts get on fine without them so why can't Latin?
nineteenthly, Dec 29 2009

       capital letters make parsing sentences easier...as does spelling, punctuation, grammar and all that other stuff kids rebel against. Boned 'cuz I'm not a kid and don't like dumbass posting styles.   

       [-] "shit".
FlyingToaster, Dec 29 2009

       The goal is nice, but the execution is poor.   

       I don't care what you add to crumbly toilet paper, it isn't going to get less crumbly. Rather, more crumbly. I speak from experience.   

       I got converted to moistened toilet paper after swamping my kayak on a river trip. It was cool and comforting, and has become a habit. But I don't need a spray bottle to get it.   

       Many bathrooms have a faucet within reach, and a few drops of water make a lot of difference   

       If a faucet isn't available, saliva almost always is.   

       If you must carry a bottle, a spray isn't needed, as moisture tends to spread on toilet paper. A little bottle such as eye drops are carried in would work charmingly.   

       If you are going to pack a spray bottle, you might as well make it a little bigger, set it to stream, and use it as a bidet to spray the region clean, and leave the paper out of the situation altogether.   

       If you are going to post on the Halfbakery, use capital letters.   

       Welcome to the HB.
baconbrain, Dec 29 2009

       I'm fine with it. If you are a new baby baker you will need crap wipes here!
Mustardface, Dec 30 2009

blissmiss, Dec 30 2009

       Oh My Dear Jesus you guys love you some CAPITAL LETTERS.   

       Well fine, I'll write everything properly on HB. Lord knows I write like this enough in school.   

       Ima try and bake this and i'll let you all know if it works how i want it.
aburntoutgenius, Dec 30 2009

       // capital letters make parsing sentences easier...as does spelling, punctuation, grammar and all that other stuff kids rebel against //   

       Spelling is largely a weird English-language idiosyncrasy taken to ridiculous extremes. It reveals the etymology of words but is fairly useless. I would agree with punctuation and grammar to some degree but there are also some unnecessary hangups with grammar, and i remember that Lynne Truss herself may be reading this. For instance split infinitives are entirely irrelevant to the sense of a clause and even a double negative can still be understood, though my own philosophical background means that grates for me.   

       Concerning capital letters, we get away without independent, final, medial and initial forms, and research shows that Arabic, which does use those forms, is read more slowly per letter than Latin. I wouldn't be surprised if mixed case makes Latin harder to read for similar reasons.   

       For me, the point is consistency, hence "i", "amn't" and the like.   

       I'm not saying it doesn't get on my nerves too, but there are also accents and dialects I dislike. I think it's important to look past that sometimes.   

       Back to the idea though. The problem with this _might_ be that the solution used tends to breed bacterial nasties. If it doesn't, you would have to be careful not to put things in it which wouldn't irritate the skin or be unsafe on broken skin. I think that can all be achieved quite easily, but it should be borne in mind. I do like it though.
nineteenthly, Dec 30 2009

       I pour a little witch hazel onto my baby wipes, when I open a new pack. Makes them even more comfortable.   

       This is *now* done for convenience, but *was* done out of necessity. You would not believe the gastrointestinal issues that arise from an Iraq deployment. (Both before and after)
MikeD, Dec 30 2009

       Actually, that's a really helpful comment, [MikeD], thanks. I would use thyme oil and ethanol, but i have the luxury of them being readily available to me cheaply.
nineteenthly, Dec 30 2009

       Thyme balm.
: )

       Tansy or citronella would do that. I feel a recipe coming on.
nineteenthly, Dec 30 2009

       21 Quest, did you just come up with a very bakeable, money making endeavor? The insecticide wipe thingies?
blissmiss, Dec 30 2009

       //nobody ever writes the word "ima"// I do... in gaming guild-chat. Not in an anno and certainly not in a post.
FlyingToaster, Dec 30 2009

       its like a coven of witches in here!
po, Dec 30 2009

       Well here we come up against the intellectual property issue, the toxicological testing problem and the matter of product liability insurance.
nineteenthly, Dec 30 2009

       What i mean, and i'm making a general point here, not really about this, is that once one tries to bake something, various hassles emerge. For example, it could be that this would have to be an emulsion because it would separate otherwise, and that it would tend to separate even when it had been prepared because of some physical property of the ingredients.
nineteenthly, Dec 30 2009

       //its like a coven of witches in here//
Not many buns in the coven.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Dec 30 2009

blissmiss, Dec 31 2009

       I don't know what treebark y'all are using to wipe your butts with, but most TP I've used falls apart when wet. Anyways if there is some industrial strength buttwipe out there, I imagine a liquid handsoap would do, or a skin moisturizer... might need a bit of experimentation to get it to spray though.   

       [OP] as well as the other words you took out to make your post looks dumber, you might want to redact 'inhospitable' and 'concoction' and misspell 'aloe vera' and 'antibacterial'.   

       //I write enough like this in school// yeah, just one of the many things you won't need in the "real world" 'cuz you'll never have to write books or documentation or instructions or an employee evaluation or a newspaper editorial or a love letter or correspondence with friends and relatives or a diary or a ... you see where I'm going with this ?
FlyingToaster, Dec 31 2009

       [FT], i was thinking along the lines of old nappies or rags, not toilet paper as such. Bidets are sometimes another option, as are Japanese-style toilets.   

       Aloe vera is a binomial, so it begins with a capital letter.
nineteenthly, Dec 31 2009

       I always saw it as a greeting - " 'Allo, Vera!"
pertinax, Jan 01 2010

       Oh yeah! Bit old hat for someone in the "biz" of course.   

       The other thing is that Aloe vera is ridiculously hyped. It's like people think it's the only species of useful plant in the world.
nineteenthly, Jan 01 2010


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