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miserable buddha

for those days when you don’t feel hail-fellow-well-met
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the laughing buddha or good fortune buddha, is a popular image in Chinese cultures. his jovial smile is a reminder to avoid anger and feelings of revenge, since they will only "poison" you. he is meant to teach mankind to be generous and not to be envious of others. you'll find the happy buddha can't help but bring a smile to your face.

However, there are times when you may just enjoy being a little p’d off with the world or it is not appropriate to be jovial. at these times put the happy buddha in the cupboard and bring out your miserable buddha.

skinny ugly geezer with a scowl on his face holding a foamin’ beer mug and a cigar dropping ash all over the floor (well a representation anyway) and complete with builders bum and dirty string vest. he quite possibly has a few noticeable scars from a few pub fights. when bringing this geezer into the house, you don’t do the usual invitation – “welcome to my home – I hope you will be happy here”. no , you say “ take it or leave it – this is the hovel, you will spend the rest of your perishing, miserable existence in!”

po, Oct 15 2002

(?) This buddha has a migraine http://www.serve.co...ighter/buddhead.jpg
[thumbwax, Oct 16 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

(?) A cute widdle baby Ganesha http://www.shalincr.../images2/mst072.jpg
with a face only Ganesha's mother could love. [Amos Kito, Oct 20 2002]

Weeping Buddha http://www.natashas...om/html/buddha.html
There's a lot of these around - it's a natural thing to do when you first start carving, since it fills out space so well. I want "passive-aggressive buddha". [jutta, Oct 20 2002]

Perfect poop pill http://www.halfbake...rfect_20poop_20pill
Relieving oneself is such relief. [Amos Kito, Oct 21 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

(?) The Vinegar Tasters. http://www.taoism.net/books/vintaste.htm
Buddha's bitter-faced in this allegory -- he ain't smilin'. Couldn't find a large version of the image. [cswiii, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

(?) Buddhism http://www.wsu.edu:...e/BUDDHISM/SIDD.HTM
What's that all about then? [DrBob, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

(?) Laptop Buddha http://www.mcphee.c.../current/10476.html
//How 'bout a squishy stress Buddha?// Baked! [nick_n_uit, Dec 08 2004]

The Vinegar Tasters http://www.edepot.c...inegar-tasters.html
Here is a closeup of the miserable buddha in the 3 Vinegar Tasters (or wine tasters). Yes he DOES look misearable. [POHANL, Dec 17 2005]

[link]






       How about mounting both your happy and miserable buddha on a little rotating shelf with a false back, like those secret doors that movie castles always seem to have. That way you could switch to the miserable buddha with a mere press of a button.   

       The perfect accessory for gadget-happy Zen manic depressives.
krelnik, Oct 15 2002
  

       For rapid cycling bi-polars you could mount the double sided version on a "lazy susan", and spin it real fast. + for po. (Oh and if you need a model for the miserable one, I have someone perfect in mind.)
blissmiss, Oct 15 2002
  

       Being p'd off is better than being p'd on..
Mr Burns, Oct 15 2002
  

       How 'bout a squishy stress buddha?
phoenix, Oct 15 2002
  

       Damn right!   

       Brass and all that is fine, but what about his image on window stickers, horse blankets, and other soft goods? He'd be perfect for putting a face on those bazillions of godless polystyrene peanuts that fall at our feet each year.
reensure, Oct 15 2002
  

       Does that mean you do have an "UnaBubbha" ?
hollajam, Oct 15 2002
  

       ...._
...(~)
._( . )_
(_`/. _)
thumbwax, Oct 16 2002
  

       imho, this is a new and great idea. The problem with the enlightened one is that he never really suffered. As soon as he saw the real world, he sought and found a way out. Which, I guess, is why so many people turned to Jesus and other gods who made a Thing out of Suffering. But their suffering was too big, too heroic. They left out all us folks who suffer unheroically all the things like migraines and other bloodless trivial matters, which ultimately kill us ignominiously. Let's have a god who dies alone and disgraced and gets no reward and doesn't come back.
rabbit, Oct 16 2002
  

       Instead of "Om mane padme hum" you could chant, "You lookin' at me ? Ah said, you lookin' at me ?"
8th of 7, Oct 16 2002
  

       funnily enough [8th] I very nearly added those last few very words!
po, Oct 16 2002
  

       [rabbit] I nominate Victor Meldrew. Credo-"I don't believe it".
egbert, Oct 16 2002
  

       another one for the road: "just do it"
rabbit, Oct 16 2002
  

       How about a cute and cuddly ganesha while we're at it.   

       Reminds me, I really want one of those chthulu dolls...
madradish, Oct 16 2002
  

       *bit* extreme UB.
po, Oct 16 2002
  

       'holla'..?
hollajam, Oct 16 2002
  

       //skinny ugly geezer with a scowl on his face holding a foamin’ beer mug and a cigar dropping ash all over the floor (well a representation anyway) and complete with builders bum and dirty string vest//   

       I demand recompense for the use of my likeness. +
calum, Oct 16 2002
  

       //foamin’ beer mug//   

       this buddha's for you
General Washington, Oct 16 2002
  

       //I don't think Ganesha is particularly cute and cuddly//   

       And Buddha isn't usually miserable, that's my point.
madradish, Oct 20 2002
  

       Well, I think Ganesha is *very* cute and cuddly, so there. And he is certainly non-threatening, unlike Kali. I like non-threatening gods. Kali is pissed as hell for sure, but that means you better not mess with her. If you said to her what po suggested, she would burn your house down with you in it. I'm pleased to see that UnaBubba is a goddess-worshipper, though. Who'da thunk it?
rabbit, Oct 20 2002
  

       Aw. That's a sweet thing to say. I hope you have told her your thoughts on this matter.
rabbit, Oct 20 2002
  

       Kalifragilisticexpialidocious
General Washington, Oct 20 2002
  

       Super! General Washinton; that it was...
hollajam, Oct 21 2002
  

       Perhaps the Miserable Buddha would find contentment and peace after an exceptional elimination that comes from a Perfect Poop Pill. [link]
Amos Kito, Oct 21 2002
  

       UnaBubba - I don't mean to pick on you, but -- your poor wife! I'll bet she is kind and sweet and nothing to do with kali. If you are not willing to offer her a few tender words, I will happy to do that and oh so much more!! Please convey this message to her from one everloving >!!<
rabbit, Oct 21 2002
  

       <Indiana Jones moment> "What a vivid imagination." </IJm>   

       The patron saint of Monday mornings?
RayfordSteele, Oct 22 2002
  

       [jutta: that weeping Buddha link appears to be broken, though it's still lurking in Google's cache.]
DrCurry, Oct 22 2002
  

       I've linked to an excerpt from 'The Tao of Pooh', which makes reference to an allegorical painting, "The Vinegar Tasters". Perhaps from the Taoist perspective, it might well be strange to imagine him smiling all the time.
cswiii, Dec 07 2002
  

       "The problem with the enlightened one is that he never really suffered. As soon as he saw the real world, he sought and found a way out."   

       I believe this is a big misunderstanding. Part of the problem is the meaning of the word "suffering". Your usage of this word is not at all the same as what was meant by it in Buddha's teachings.   

       To use your example to try create a more accurate understanding: a migraine is painful, but it is NOT suffering. Examples of suffering are things like: aversion to that migraine, jealousy, hate and anger.   

       So, suffering - in the sense Buddha meant - does not come from the external world at all. It comes from within. In fact, the very word "Buddha" means something like "inner being".   

       Luckily, since suffering comes from your own mind, you can stop your own suffering by changing your mind. You can also gain compassion for the suffering of others and then help them to realize that they too can stop suffering.   

       Buddha's goal was never to stop his own suffering. It was to discover how he could stop his own suffering so that he could lead by example and teach others. His goal was to help bring an end to the suffering of all living beings.   

       Anyway, Buddha definitely suffered in the sense you mean throughout his life, as all living beings must (he also, by implication, suffered in the Buddhist sense until he became fully Enlightened). In fact, he experienced great pain and sickness even after he achieved Enlightenment, ultimately dying from an illness.   

       There is no escape from pain or external conditions. It is the very nature of Samsara. What you CAN do (and what Buddha urges us all to do) is change your mind.   

       I think this is highly practical and logical advice!
muppetboy, Dec 07 2002
  

       muppet - my take on the buddha was that he was a sound guy. To me, he basically said that suffering is inevitable, part of being human and being alive - you can't change that, but you can change your attitude towards it.   

       The world's too big a thing for any individual to change. In the end, the only thing you can change is your own mind, and even that is pretty bloody hard sometimes.
lostdog, Feb 27 2003
  

       at least he didnt get crucified
monk, Nov 17 2003
  

       How 'bout the buddy Buddha? +
sartep, Nov 18 2003
  

       How about these great ideas:   

       A Pope Bobble Head Dashboard Doll wearing a dark trench coat and giving the finger so we can feel better about cutting the old lady in the Cadillac off at our exit on the freeway where she’d been waiting in line for one and a half minutes like every other normal person behind her that we cut off as well, but we are better than them for some reason so it’s okay, because we can just look at good old Pope.   

       Or a new kid friendly and comical character at a fast food joint, Happy the Hindu Cow, because after all, shouldn’t we teach our children that other religions can make you feel good too?   

       Or a new doll “Legs” Marry that spreads them when you move the lever cleverly hidden on her back under her tattered Velcro Mattel ™ dress so she can remind all of us that even a pregnant, unwed, teenage mother can make the best out of a bad situation with just a little “creative” imagination.   

       A Confucius Digital Recorder Doll so you can make another civilization’s theological figurehead say whatever mindless dribble you want that always starts with a stereotypical hardcoded Asian voice saying “Confucius say…”, followed by your something like “I want Creemsum-yun-gye” that you play for the Confucian delivery guy when he brings your order to your front door in the rain because you think he’ll find it funny because he’s one of them and you feel right and justified because he smiles politely and thanks you for the dollar tip on a twenty-five dollar family order before stepping off your rain soaked doorstep because you never let him inside while you looked for your wallet or purse for five minutes to get his money you should had been kind enough to have out already because you knew it was raining, all the while pulling the little string on the back of your toy and laughing with your laughing kids in tow. Because again, we all like finding something that makes us happy about other religions… we are cultured now.   

       Or maybe we could all carry laminated caricatures of our dead mothers or grandmothers with iron plates bolted over their mouths and 3-D looking and embellished tears streaming down their faces all colored cartoon like to remind us that yes it can be funny when we say things before we think about the gravity those very same words may have on people that don’t think just like we do.
decentcat, Apr 17 2004
  

       The Zen of Misery: Once you achieve the summit of your own desires, The TIME becomes available to you to look back & discover ..... misery & the fullfilment of desires are not opposites.
Zimmy, Dec 17 2005
  
      
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