Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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replace ears with hands

for those times when you need to do 4 things at once, 2 of them really close to your face.
  (+39, -15)(+39, -15)(+39, -15)
(+39, -15)
  [vote for,

I'd like hands on my head, instead of ears. When not in use, they could remain in a cupped position, hence functioning like an ear. However, you could use them to hold a cigarette while you post ideas on œbakery or plug your ears while using power tools, or simply use both of them to shovel food into your mouth.
mighty_cheese, Sep 07 2001

Unworthy passive model http://www.geocitie...ther/handphone.html
[Ling, May 21 2007]

Your Inspiration? http://www.engadget...ird-ear-in-forearm/
Saw it on engadget not too long ago. [twitch, May 24 2007]


       //I'd like hands on my head, instead of ears//   

       //or plug your ears while using power tools//   

       Wait... what ears? I thought we replaced them with hands.
PotatoStew, Sep 07 2001

       Top five reasons why this is a great idea:   

       5. It could enable people to do killer imitations of the cute dinosaur that eats the fat guy in "Jurassic Park";   

       4. Chin-operated steering wheels;   

       3. I could wear TEN earrings at THE SAME TIME;   

       2. Once people realized the new hazards involved in giving others the finger, that childhood "nyah-nyah" gesture would come back with a vengeance;   

       1. When delighted, I could actually clap my face.
1percent, Sep 07 2001

       11. I could wash my hair while my other hands wash elsewhere.
10. No more losing a hat in the wind.
9. Doubles the expressive density for ASL
8. Near-sighted readers can hold the book/magazine REALLY CLOSE

       7. Now one person can demonstrate 2 of the see/hear/speak-no-evil gestures at one time
6. "My you're a hand-some man."

[Marginal note: I have this recurring dream about having a detachable penis (with auxiliary attachments).]
quarterbaker, Sep 07 2001

       [PotatoStew] By the looks of it, the inner ear is remaining intact; only the chunks of cartilage on the sides of one's head is being replaced.   

       Let's not forget: 17. You can halve the time it takes each morning to clean your eye goo.
MrWrong, Sep 07 2001

Lemon, Sep 07 2001

       lemon: maybe,but they sure would be handy, don't you think? :o)
mihali, Sep 07 2001

       You'd look so hideous, you'd never get a date again!
seal10, Sep 07 2001

       What is WIBNI?
pussygalore, Sep 07 2001

       <answer in the form of a question> What is WIBNI?
Wouldn't It Be Nice If

24. You could change hearing aid batteries without taking hands off steering wheel.
23. You could drive while groping at partner.
22. You could talk on cell phone while driving with both lower hands.
21. You could wave at everybody while in a parade.
20. You could wave at a Taxi while holding other items.
19. You could win Heavyweight Championship by hitting opponent with an uppercut, a left hook, a jab, and a haymaker at the same time.
18. You could conduct a symphony with two wands.
17. You could go postal and protect your hearing at the same time.
thumbwax, Sep 07 2001

       seal10- I could hold a cigarette, a beer, the remote, and do _other things_ at the same time. Why would I ever need a date?
mighty_cheese, Sep 08 2001

       Ohhh, I get it now! At first I thought this was a suggestion to replace literary references to *ears* with *hands*, as in *keep your hand to the ground*, and *Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your hands*.   

       This idea gets my croissant, hands down.   

       31. Now I can count all the way to 31!
Canuck, Sep 08 2001

       UnaBubba: The image conjured up by that last comment...! When swimming the earhands could function like diving planes on a sub.
Dog Ed, Sep 08 2001

       1%: You don't need fingers there to wear ten earrings. My brother has that many in one ear.
StarChaser, Sep 08 2001

       no, Big Ears
po, Sep 08 2001

       pretty sure that playing poker would be easier - hide your expression with your cards
po, Sep 08 2001

       we must do something
po, Sep 08 2001

       Baked! Prince Charles.   

       He really should have married more carefully. A bit of selective breeding and we'd have them in no time.
shameless_self_reference, Sep 09 2002

       a belated croissant.
po, Sep 09 2002

       Me too.
FarmerJohn, Sep 09 2002

       This would be great. I think it speaks to the "critter" in all of us. Dogs are so lucky to have expresive ears-- hands would really do the job. If I felt sad I could curl them up and pout for a a killer cuteness.
futurebird, Dec 19 2002

       "Earrings" would just be "rings"...
dbsousa, Dec 19 2002

       Not much use to me - I'd have to use them to hold my specs on all day.
lostdog, Mar 07 2003

       Although [lostdog] has a good glasses point, this idea rocks. It is hideous, of course, by which I mean thoroughly unattractive (not morally suspect), but really, really cool. So here is a croissant, which I give to you from one of my ear-hands.   

       On a more serious note - oh, crap, I've forgotten what I was going to say. Eh... Oh yeah! It wasn't serious. How long are the hands? Do they have wrists? Because if not, some of these things aren't achievable. They'd have to be fairly long to reach the mouth, even.
bookends, May 11 2006

       hey, mighty_c, bless you wherever you are.
po, May 11 2006

       Those chunks of flesh and cartilage outside the earhole are called the pinna, I beleive.
BunsenHoneydew, May 14 2006

       this would be awsome!! then we could get piercings on our hands!   

       dbsousa: they wouldnt be called rings, theyd be handrings. <3
bobathie, May 19 2007

       We would need larger earmuffs, and my motorcycle helmet would need some extensive modifications. On the other hand, covering your eyes during scary movies will be much easier.
rbl, May 20 2007

       I thought we canned WIBNI ideas. Wouldn't it be neat if we had light sabers, lived as long as we wanted to and could fly also.   

       Sorry to be a downer.
macncheesy, May 21 2007

       Yeah but hand-ears would be better. WIBNI's are okay if we all say they are.   

       Oh, and [canuck], the more clever, <or at least geeky> of us would be able to count to a little over a million (1048575), if we just used a little binary.   

       <rediculous engineering anecdote> I actually had to count something up the other day while out on the plant, it was a bit complicated, checking off dipswitch positions against the commisioning sheet, and old mate kept losing count, so I simply used binary on one hand to count the 27 dipswitches that were wrong. It took about 20 minutes and a whiteboard to explain to my offsider how I counted to over 5 using one hand. I'm still not sure if he gets it. </r.e.a>   

       It's quite a useful trick, and you can get rather good at it with a little practice. Interpreting the base-10 count takes a second, but is worthwhile, if only to bamboozle whoever was unlucky enough to witness your binary-counting wizzardry.   

       Oh god, I'm such a geek I'd beat myself up if I ever met me.
Custardguts, May 21 2007

       Downfalls- Sneezing Pleasuring ones self would change sex entirely.
vinny gildersleeve, May 21 2007

       Link for //or plug your ears while using power tools//
Ling, May 21 2007

       You can cup your hands to hear better. You can sit back and clasp your hands behind your head while still typing. With your hands behind your head, you could wear bracelets that look like normal ears.
marklar, May 21 2007

       macncheesy: lightsabers? nah...but the flying part would be neat! haha.
bobathie, May 22 2007

       Did this idea come from hearing about that guy who is growing an ear in his forearm? I hear he is planning on another one.
twitch, May 24 2007

       still very much missed!
po, Aug 24 2007


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