Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
The halfway house for at-risk ideas

idea: add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: browse anonymously, or get an account and write.

user:
pass:
register,


                                     

An Outburst of Emulsion

operatic house painters
  (+7, -3)
(+7, -3)
  [vote for,
against]

I was having work done on my house, and the builder brought along his own painter who insisted in listening to a hideous radio station all day long.

How nice would it be if house painters were also required to be adept at opera singing? Instead of that insane wittering and chirpy whistling, we would be treated to Tosca or Madame Butterfly, or perhaps a more modern piece like John Adams's Nixon in China.

Idea sponsored by Farrow and Ball of course.

xenzag, Jun 26 2010

http://www.farrow-ball.com/ has to opera [xenzag, Jun 28 2010]

Wikipedia: John Cage's 4'33" http://en.wikipedia...E2%80%B233%E2%80%B3
Ninja Painters would perform this piece. [zen_tom, Jun 28 2010]

[link]






       I would suppose how well his yodeling is received depends entirely on the neighborhood he is painting the house in. I'm fairly certain my neighbor would attempt to hurl a grand piano at him (much as roses are tossed onto the stage at the end of a performance; a flying grand piano, assuming it connects with its intended target, would pretty much assure the end of the performance, if not the piano...)
Grogster, Jun 26 2010
  

       I once had a carpenter from Mexico who thought he had a fine operatic voice. Every time he hit his thumb with the hammer he would sing out, "AIDA!"
jurist, Jun 27 2010
  

       put it on Craig's list; I bet my right testicle that you'll have a singing painter within the week if you pay well enough for the job.
Voice, Jun 27 2010
  

       I see a little silhouetto of a van,
Sand it down, Sand it down, will you gloss around the Fanlight,
Undercoat and priming, very mellow lighting, yay !
(Get a ladder) Get a ladder (Get a ladder) Get a ladder, Get a ladder from the van,
Magnifico-o-o-o-o
I'm just a painter, but everyone loves me
He's just a painter, with a nice family
Pay him in cash so you dodge the VAT...
8th of 7, Jun 27 2010
  

       Half of this bun belongs to [8th] [+]
BunsenHoneydew, Jun 27 2010
  

       All your bun are belong to us.
8th of 7, Jun 27 2010
  

       I liked it too, could hear the whole choir in my head. +
daseva, Jun 27 2010
  

       Full version to be posted later, then.
8th of 7, Jun 27 2010
  

       If the painters had their own funny versions of popular songs to sing that would be pretty cool. I might actually hire them and get a case of beer and some buddies to laugh with while the whole thing goes down.   

       This idea is not for everyone, a service like this would never survive on profits alone. It needs misguided philanthropy. There has to be a rich crazy old man somewhere in an isolated mansion shuffling around to very loud opera music, drinking hard and painting the rooms to death.
daseva, Jun 27 2010
  

       //There has to be a rich crazy old man somewhere in an isolated mansion shuffling around to very loud opera music,...// Sort of sounds like Fitzcarraldo to me. He would have undoubtedly liked this idea.
jurist, Jun 27 2010
  

       Next: Karaoke Paintbrushes...
jutta, Jun 27 2010
  

       Stockhausen meets Picasso on bad acid... would that James Whistler were with us at this hour.
8th of 7, Jun 27 2010
  

       [+] ok and another half bun for [8th]!!
xandram, Jun 28 2010
  

       gr. "would that James Whistler..."
pertinax, Jun 28 2010
  

       Cute, would my pointing out the semantic closeness between the phrases //How nice would it be if...// and "Wouldn't It Be Nice If..." be poor form?   

       I like my painters John Cage style...
zen_tom, Jun 28 2010
  

       // gr. "would that James Whistler..." //   

       gr. fixed, [pert]   

       Is this the real tint?
Is this just vynyl matt?
Caught in a dust sheet,
No escape from Magnolia
Open your eyes
Look up to the ceiling and see
I'm just a painter
I need a cup of tea
Because I'm easy come, easy go
Little high, little low
Any way the paint drips
Doesn't really matter to me, to me

Missis, just spilt a can,
Put a scraper to its lid.
Pushed down firmly, now it's spilt
Missis, that tin was just begun
But now I've had to throw it all away
Missis, ooh
Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters
  

       Too late, I've tried some turps
Sends shivers down my spine
Body's aching all the time
Goodbye, everybody
I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and fetch some tools,
Missis, oooooooh (Anyway the paint drips)
No, it don't wash out
Sometimes wish that folks used lino more,

  

       I see a little silhouetto of a van,
Sand it down, Sand it down, will you gloss around the Fanlight,
Undercoat and priming, very mellow lighting, yay !
(Get a ladder) Get a ladder (Get a ladder) Get a ladder, Get a ladder from the van,
Magnifico-o-o-o-o
I'm just a painter, but everyone loves me
He's just a painter, with a nice family
Pay him in cash so you dodge the VAT...

  

       Easy come, easy go, will you pay me cash ?
Bismillah! No, we will not pay you cash
What do we owe ?
Bismillah! No, we will not pay you cash
What do we owe ?
Bismillah! No, we will not pay you cash
What do we owe ? (Will not pay you cash)
What do we owe ? (Will not pay you cash) (folding money, folding money)
Pay me cash, o, o, o, o
No, no, no, no, no, no, no !
(Oh the taxman, oh the taxman) Oh the Taxman, pay me cash,
The bloke next door has tenners in the sideboard for me, for me, for me !

  

       So you think you can hire me and not give me tea,
So you think you can get eight hours work out of me,
Oh Missis, where's the biscuit tin Missis,
Gotta get more milk, gotta get more UHT.

  

       (Ohhh, donuts, Ooooh donuts)

Nothing quite like trade matt,
Cheap as cheap can be,
Nothing quite like trade matt,
Slap it on and flee

  

       Any way the paint drips …
8th of 7, Jun 28 2010
  
      
[annotate]
  


 

back: main index

business  computer  culture  fashion  food  halfbakery  home  other  product  public  science  sport  vehicle