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Arse Crampons

  (+6)
(+6)
  [vote for,
against]

So your icy-hillside slip doesn't terminate under the wheels of a snowplough.
calum, Dec 07 2010

spiked shoe spiked_20shoe
by A Dreamer (featuring Livin' Joy). [calum, Dec 07 2010]

Badgers Natural anti-slip http://www.urbandic...a%20badger's%20arse
Awaiting adoption as a standard unit of roughness [Twizz, Dec 07 2010]

[link]






       I assume this is not a problem encountered by badgers.   

       It does, of course, beg the question as to why you wouldn't put the crampons on your feet and avoid the sip in the first place.   

       And the results of wearing your arse crampons inside out..... Ow!
Twizz, Dec 07 2010
  

       [Twizz], anno, sp. "slip"   

       <Falteringly>...so... if... if I strap a badger to my waiste...?</Falteringly>
Dub, Dec 07 2010
  

       [+]
FlyingToaster, Dec 07 2010
  

       I was scared to read what this idea was about. It is one of the rare occasions on the bakery when my fears have been unfounded.   

       As to the idea, with the addition of some padding, it would be particularly good for learning to snowboard.
marklar, Dec 07 2010
  

       Why yould you want a device to stop snowboarders having their life //terminate under the wheels of a snowplough. // ?
8th of 7, Dec 07 2010
  

       Yeah, so you try getting ripstop nylon out of a gearbox when it's 40 below.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 07 2010
  

       It's the price you pay for doing an important and popular public service, a form of upmarket vermin destruction.
8th of 7, Dec 08 2010
  

       snowboarders = skier roadblocks.
RayfordSteele, Dec 08 2010
  

       Are we talking four-inch-long-spike crampons, or something that might actually be safe to use? I would fear landing with a foot or hand under my arse after a bad tumble.   

       Not to mention blocking the world's view of the magnificence that is my backside, and injuring those who just can't stop themselves from touching.
baconbrain, Dec 08 2010
  

       thinkin' rhinestone studs for when you start that slow but not slow enough slide... decorative too.
FlyingToaster, Dec 08 2010
  

       The sun shines out of some arses. As long as it is powerful enough, it should melt the ice.
DenholmRicshaw, Dec 08 2010
  

       Now there is a thought, the crampons could feature a well-placed lens to concentrate and direct the beam of rectal illumination onto the ice, performing a public service by simple combination of smuggery and crampon.
calum, Dec 08 2010
  

       // direct the beam of rectal illumination //   

       That model will undoubtably sell well in france.
8th of 7, Dec 08 2010
  

       Could have done with some of these today. Treacherous!
{Tries to attach a second bun}
Dub, Jan 22 2013
  
      
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