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Snowshoes for elephants

  [vote for,

Elephants are a bit buggered due to global warming, even the use of heat-conductive ear radiators might not do the trick.

The snow shoes will help elephants to get to cooler climes, such as the slopes of Kilimanjaro, or the Himalayas, yeti's permitting.

not_morrison_rm, Jun 02 2019

"Elefant" on tracks https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elefant
Designed by Ferdinand Porsche. [8th of 7, Jun 02 2019]

https://ca.images.s...ei=UTF-8&n=60&x=wrt [2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jun 03 2019]

How to coordinate the journey Give Wild Elephants Smartphones
[notexactly, Jun 11 2019]


       They seem essential to me. I'm looking forward to the video of you fitting them to the first herd.
xenzag, Jun 02 2019

       Yes - have you heard of them?
xenzag, Jun 02 2019

       It would be more effective to fit the elephants with tracks. There is Prior Art ...   

8th of 7, Jun 02 2019

       For some reason this sounded like it could have been one of my ideas, and I thought I was losing my mind and didn't remember posting it. Good Job [not_morrison_rm], we should colaborate sometime. hahahaha
blissmiss, Jun 02 2019

       Hmm....blissmiss, after a trawl I did find a elephant shoe mention, lacking the snow bit though -   

       "Elephant shoes"? — mcscotland, Apr 10 2002>" and that seems to be that..   

       //It would be more effective to fit the elephants with tracks.   

       Tried that, but the elephants kept squashing the caterpillars...so it's A) make the elephants lighter or B) use that Ferengi Enlargo-Ray to get bigger caterpillars.
not_morrison_rm, Jun 02 2019

       So, a set of woolly mammoth slippers.
wjt, Jun 03 2019

       What if the secretly love snow and can't wait for the next ice age? [link]   

       I wonder if their ears are burning right now.
wjt, Jun 03 2019

       They haven't paid for the waterskis yet.
pertinax, Jun 03 2019

       Hang on - Hannibal presumably solved this problem some years ago, no?
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 04 2019

       Yes, he got Face, B.A. and Murdock to herd them up the rear ramp of a C-130, then dropped them by parachute.
8th of 7, Jun 04 2019

       I can't help thinking there's a structural problem; that pachyderms - given their weight - couldn't splay their legs out far enough, safely to snowshoe.
FlyingToaster, Jun 04 2019

       Wanna bet ? The AT-AT Imperial Walkers in TESB are modelled on elephant locomotion and gait. There was a programme about it on The Discoverery Channel, so it must be true.
8th of 7, Jun 04 2019

       // aquatic roots //   

       So you're suggesting growing elephants by hydroponics ?
8th of 7, Jun 04 2019

       I have an image in my head now.   

       Picture this : the snowy wastes of siberia, post global warming, now a temperate grassland.   

       The camera pans out further : a herd of bewildered elephants stands around wondering why they're wearing snowshoes.   

       & not a flake of the stuff in sight.   

       The camera pans out further : Then zooms in on a small figure in the distance :   

       It's [not_morrison_rm] nailing a new set of snowshoes to the feet of a newborn calf as he shouts "you'll thank me when the snow comes back!"
Skewed, Jun 04 2019

       // I have an image in my head now... It's [not_morrison_rm] nailing a new set of snowshoes to the feet of a newborn calf //   

       [Skewed], you're channelling the spirit of Spike Milligan, stop it !
8th of 7, Jun 05 2019

       Why? did you want it back?
Skewed, Jun 05 2019

       (Wearily realises that no true genius is recognised in his/her lifetime, so it's good I'm not a genius)
not_morrison_rm, Jun 11 2019

       Archimedes. Shakespear. Newton. Brunel. Einstein. Feynmann.   

       And your point was ... ?
8th of 7, Jun 11 2019

       How much dead keratin is on the hoof of a new born calf? They are up quick.
wjt, Jun 13 2019

       An elephant calf? they don't have any (accept the toes, which are on top like ours not underneath).   

       Elephants don't have 'hooves' like a horse or a cow they have pads of soft tissue.
Skewed, Jun 13 2019

       Elephants are highly social creatures (more so than humans, as elephants very rarely kill their own kind) and all the females in a herd are normally close relatives. This means that not only is the calf protected by its mother, but also by a group of concerned aunts. Anyone wanting to nail things to a baby elephant will have an extremely short life expectancy.   

       <Smiles, nods, makes encouraging gestures, proffers hammer and nails to [n_m_rm], prepares to run/>
8th of 7, Jun 13 2019

       //Elephants are higly social creatures (more so than humans, as elephants very rarely kill their own kind)//   

       There is an argument to be made that this is evidence of the reverse & simply an expression of our more highly developed social nature.   

       sp. highly
Skewed, Jun 13 2019

       No, I think he meant "higly". Have you ever seen an elephant try to built something? It comes out all higly pigly.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 13 2019

       // There is an argument to be made //   

       ... and no doubt you're quite prepared to slaughter anyone who disagrees, entirely for their own good of course ... ?
8th of 7, Jun 13 2019

       Well.. only if all other arguments fail, got another train I can burrow?
Skewed, Jun 13 2019

       Sure. We'll load it with chemical weapons and nuclear waste, and tack on a couple of coaches for the friends and relatives of the victims of your previous attempt at being a railway switchman.   

       C'mon, show everyone your Many-Armed Form ...
8th of 7, Jun 13 2019

       Surely my aspect as Ganesha would be more appropriate here, we can rationalise it as removing obstacles to new beginnings?   

       But really I just want to wear the elephant head.
Skewed, Jun 13 2019

       Well, if the head fits ...
8th of 7, Jun 13 2019

       I could counter that keratin is structurally in skin but no, credit where credit is due, my mind was totally somewhere else.   

       But now I am imagining a spray-painted punk calf with pads and ears pierced, named Ganesha
wjt, Jun 14 2019


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