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Back-seat driver auto-patronising device

"Yes, yes, I'm listening"
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(+23, -1)
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This would be a driving simulation, reusing features from existing driving games, etc., which would be operated by the back-seat driver. It would show a beautifully rendered simulation of the road the car was actually driving along, with depictions of the other cars on the road obtained from a small radar system mounted on the roof. Information about the road surface and the amount of grip available would come from sensors under the car and from the ABS system. Noise distractions and local weather conditions would also be included in the simulation.

All this would enable your back-seat driver to 'drive' their simulated version of your car down the same roads as you. Then, instead of the BSD saying such things as "You should have braked earlier", they can actually brake earlier on their simulation. Each of the differences between driving action and style between the BSD's simulation and your driving, expressed as parameters including braking pressure, fuel economy, reaction times, road positioning will be carefully calculated by sophisticated onboard computers. These will then be reduced to a single parameter expressing the extent to which, moment-by-moment, the BSD is a better driver than you, which can be shown on a simple dial on the dashboard, and ignored.
hippo, Jul 17 2005


       More expensive than my middle finger, but more fun too.
wagster, Jul 17 2005

       //which can be shown on a simple dial on the dashboard, and ignored//   

Detly, Jul 17 2005

       I saw the title, and thought of a machine in the back to constantly patronise you and demean your driving, but this is better, and actually has a point.   

dbmag9, Jul 17 2005

       Very cool [+]
hidden truths, Jul 17 2005

       When I am driving and my sister is the passenger, she constantly stamps on an invisible brake pedal in her footwell, I am not an overly aggressive driver, it is just that she has been involved in several nasty accidents. Giving her something to take her mind off the road would be good....[+]
Minimal, Jul 18 2005

       [Minimal] Your sister may need a different device, perhaps a passenger-side brake pedal connected to the passenger-side seatbelt tensioner. Then, when she presses the brake pedal the seatbelt will tighten slightly, giving her an added feeling of security.
hippo, Jul 18 2005

       For Sale: 2006 MB S55 AMG w/21,300 miles. 5.5L, Supercharged, AT, AC, Leather, Nav, AM/FM/CD/DVD, PB, PW, ABS, ESP, BSDS....
bristolz, Jul 18 2005

       a truly fantastic idea, That would make what used to be annoying but comforting car journey a journey of silent, mindless tedium...I prefer shouting at the BSD, although the smarmy response of "well you wouldn't have crashed if you had been concentrating instead of shouting at me..." wear me down fast. On second thoughts, I prefer the silence. [+]
Mr Phase, Jul 18 2005

       I was thinking this would be one of those automated direction devices, only programmed to give the directions ten seconds too late ("You should have taken that exit a hundred yards back...").
DrCurry, Jul 18 2005

       [hippo]'s idea for a seat-belt tensioner pedal is good and unique enough for a listing of its own, and I'd bun it.   

       I like this idea too. In a more advanced iteration, it could pick up data from sensors around the car and model the real world on the simulator, and perhaps show the BSD just how lousy their judgment might have been.   

       OTOH, if the BSD takes the correct turn on the simulator, who then will tell the real driver when he's gone the wrong way? The BSD is satisfied because he is going right and will arrive on (simulated) time.
elhigh, Jul 21 2005

       Why do my cars not have this??   

MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 06 2011


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