Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Battlefield tours by tank

Get the real view
  [vote for,

A scheme in which the participants get a guided tour of a variety of 20th century battlefields, from inside an appropriate armoured vehicle.

Options include "Cambrai in a Mk. IV", "Western Poland by Panzer II", "Montcornet in a Char B", "Dunkirk by Matilda I", and of course Alamein, Prokhorovka, the Normandy Boçage, Anzio, the Seelow heights, and other notable locations.

Tourists don't actually get to see much of the landscape, and finish their day bruised, battered, deafened, hungry, thisrsty, and very, very tired. But they get a good idea of what combatants saw and went through.

In some locations*, it may be possible to fire the main armament.

*i.e. Belgium, where blowing holes in buildings with a big gun is best described as "environmental improvement".

8th of 7, Feb 07 2021

Tanks a lot... http://3.bp.blogspo...0/dsf3245646523.jpg
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Feb 07 2021]


       Big, hot, flaky pastry for ya [+]   

       Tell me more about the Belgium tour.
whatrock, Feb 07 2021

       + very cool. when i visited Gettysburg, there was so much walking and reading of plaques. But i want to drive the tank! i will pay premium price for a ticket to drive.   

       She’s got a ticket to drive and she don’t care...
xandram, Feb 07 2021

       [+] How about tours of Germany by air in a B-24?   

       My grand-uncle was a Liberator pilot in WW2. Went on to fly B52s B47s all sorts of cool stuff. Reading a log if his missions my dad got from him I see several were marked: "Dp Sq Ld" which might mean "director of personnel squadron leader" but that's only a wild guess.   

       Anyway, flew 35 missions any of which you can Google to get all sorts of cool information about these raids.
doctorremulac3, Feb 07 2021

       I think you could do this just by taking your paying customers for a few loops of the Central line, it would be pretty realistic and slightly cheaper.
pocmloc, Feb 07 2021

       Churchill Crockodile? (++)
xenzag, Feb 07 2021

       No, but you can have a go in a Churchill Crocodile if you want.   

       We find that most of those requesting the flamethrowing tanks also want a very early start to their day. Presumably they love the smell of Napalm in the morning.   

       // taking your paying customers for a few loops of the Central line //   

       Not for this tour - you're thinking of the "Concentration camp deportation experience", although the initial product testing has been mixed; many patrons complained bitterly about being packed into a filthy, unlit, airless space, with no food, water, sanitation, or knowledge of when - or if - they might ever arrive at their destination, and made it clear that they much preferred the steam-hauled Reichsbahn cattle trucks ....   


       Checking another batch of questionnaires, we also note that the SS guards got much better ratings for their general helpfulness, positive friendly attitudes, demeanor and cheerfulness than any TfL staff ...   

       <even later>   

       Even the SS guard dogs got a better rating than TfL staff ... less chance of receiving a painful bite, and a much lower risk of contracting rabies as a consequence. Their understanding of spoken English was also notably superior.
8th of 7, Feb 07 2021

I called dibs! [link]
You can ride shotgun if you want.


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