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Bonsai Warriors

Not to be confused with Banzai warriors
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In a careful co-mingling of the art of wiring, pruning and clipping trees to make miniature versions of venerable giants of the plant kingdom, and the now almost forgotten art of Chinese foot-binding, UBCo's shadowy Asian operations arm brings you "Bonsai Warriors"

Deliberately fed growth retardants, bound and constrained and trained within a katana blade edge of their lives, these heavily armed, deadly, little buggers will have your intruders', burglars' or enemies' feet off in a trice and be standing back in seemingly casual poses near your azalea beds before you know it, cleverly disguised as garden statuary.

Best of all, they're cheap to keep and clean up after themselves.

UnaBubba, Apr 16 2012

[link]






       Ninja Gnomes ... [+]
8th of 7, Apr 16 2012
  

       Gninjas
hippo, Apr 16 2012
  

       Bonza
AusCan531, Apr 16 2012
  

       I like that they clean up after themselves. +
blissmiss, Apr 16 2012
  

       But how do they do that? Bury amputated body parts in a shallow grave in the garden? Hide 'em in the dumpster inside a bag of rose clippings? Or do they proudly present, on your doormat, the fruits of their prowess?
lurch, Apr 16 2012
  

       You have a point.
blissmiss, Apr 16 2012
  

       All of the above, [lurch]. Obviously, if you also employ guard dogs then the occasional criminal's foot will be a tasty treat for the dishlickers.
UnaBubba, Apr 17 2012
  
      
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