Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Camel Care

Big tobacco taking care of its customers.
  (+15, -1)(+15, -1)
(+15, -1)
  [vote for,

Tobacco companies have been flooding the market with 'earned items' via UPC (no offense to plumbers)/label/catalog collections. Smoke more, get more stuff. Have you ever looked at the crap they give away? Is it geared towards smokers? "I just smoked my fifth pack of Camel NF's today...let's go mountain biking." Why can't I use my 'Marlboro Miles' to purchase the parts of my iron lung? How about that Camel tracheotomy tube...surgery prepaid. Only 10,000 'Camel Bucks'. What a deal! "Will your chemotherapy be billed to your insurance, sir?" "No, I have 'Carlton Coverage' for that."

Sure, the obvious answer is to quit smoking, but, if I don't, why not give me something I can use down the road.

Reverend D, Jun 24 2001


       Rant / consumer advice. No idea.
StarChaser, Jun 24 2001

       Too short for a real rant, although "crap" and a question mark that close together usually means trouble. No real advice directed toward the end-user. Nope. You're free to go, sir.
The Military, Jun 24 2001

       I think it's a satirical idea, not a rant.
jutta, Jun 24 2001

       Emblazoned with Joe Camel Logo of course. How about if you want a Joe Camel Headstone? Another Mill?
thumbwax, Jun 25 2001

       Who want's an oxygen mask modeled after Joe Camel's enormous phallic mug?
The Military, Jun 25 2001

       [SC] I'm a smoker...non rant.   

       I've compiled some other items that are smoking essentials that should be added to the list (these are the cheap items):   

       The car upholstry patch kit.   

       The drunk safety lighter. Keeps the tipsy from lighting themselves instead of their smoke.   

       Deodorizer specifically made to remove that brand's smell.   

       Child safety attachment. Keeps kids from running into the lit end.Expensive: In home nursing from pretty ad girls/guys.   

       Expensive: In home nursing from pretty ad girls/guys.   

       Dental cleanings and care.   

       Fire insurance for sleepy smokers.
Reverend D, Jun 25 2001


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