h a l f b a k e r y
On the one hand, true. On the other hand, bollocks.
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The Car Helmet is a 1/4 scale full-face motorcycle helmet moulded
solid white polystyrene foam. Where the visor would be, the front if
helmet is painted black.
Stuck to the underside are some flexible magnetic strips.
The item would be extremely cheap to produce, and retail at $1/unit,
even be given away, so as not to be worth stealing.
The device is used by drivers placing the helmet on the roof of their
vehicle, postioned over the head of the driver.
The helmet continuously transmits an important safety message to
road users, but especially bikers.
The message is' "I too ride, or have ridden, a motorbike. Therefore,
although I am currently driving a car, I understand the risks bikers
face. I will be extra careful when making turns. I will use my mirrors
frequently. I will not pull out of side roads in front of fast moving
I will be vigilant before opening doors. I will be aware that bikes can
close up from behind very quickly, and can accelerate much faster
than most cars. I am not out to kill you."
The helmet would be removed when a non-biker is driving.
An alternative version is shaped like one of those silly plastic
colanders that cyclists wear. It too transmits a message to all who
it, which is "I am a complete numpty. I wobble along the gutter,
obstructing traffic and being a general nuisance. I have no concept
how much other road users hate and despise me, and I own many
pairs of brightly coloured lycra shorts that cause nausea to all that
catch a glimpse of them. Please kick my headlights in, let down my
tyres, and scratch my paintwork if you get an opportunity."
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||//The helmet would be removed when a non-biker is
driving.// I wager it would not. In fact, I am
prepared to bet your entire collection of pottery cats
against your collection of Fred Dibnah videos
(including the one with the bit where he gets naked).
||Well, it SHOULD be removed ....
||And I, it is generally believed, should be far more
generously paid than I currently am. Sadly, this is not
||I will await the first report of an accident in which a
magnetically-attached model bike helmet is ripped
off by the wind on a motorway, slamming into the
||//Sadly, this is not the case.// tautology.