Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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CatMedicine

Cat Pill Feeder
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The Cat-Pill-Feeder. Cats being naturally obstinate, difficult, self-centered, generally obnoxious and certainly more than indifferent to oral medications, it would be both useful and satisfying, in a sadistic, revengeful sort of way, to employ a device that keeps their little sharp-mouthed maws open while you plunk a pill down their screamey little throats. I see a mechanism something like a horsebit, of two pieces, that you can crank up to open them up. Once the pharmaceutical aspects are done, it wouldn’t hurt their little prides to make them run around, jaws akimbo, for a while. Just understand that later they may come and steal your breath while you sleep.
outbroker, Jan 15 2002

Off The Mark http://www.offthemark.com/daily.asp
If this runs two weeks behind the newspaper (most online comics do), then you may have to wait a few days to see the one that [blissmiss] mentioned. [mwburden, Jan 17 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

Melvin Burkhart http://www.magictim...11-16-spotlight.htm
A genuine blockhead. [DrBob, Jan 17 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

Use this? Antibiotic_20Bullets
Just change the "filling" [methinksnot, Mar 16 2006]

[link]






       Simply opening their jaws isn't enough to force the swallowing mechanism, nor will it keep them from flailing about viciously.   

       Seriously, there are easier ways. Try smashing the medicine in food.
seal, Jan 15 2002
  

       With their maws cranked open with this device the halitosis from most cats will steal your breath while you are wide awake.
bristolz, Jan 15 2002
  

       outbroker, "akimbo" means "with hands on hips". Can't quite picture the cat this way. Anyway, your idea is mean. Have the vet show you how to give the cat a pill.
TeaTotal, Jan 15 2002
  

       Well, that's just damn cruel. What's next? Paintball medication delivery for cats? Transdermal med delivery requiring cat shaving? A cat suppository?
Guncrazy, Jan 16 2002
  

       Use a cattle drencher.
dare99, Jan 16 2002
  

       are you saying you swallowed 50 pills to show your cat how to do it? UB - that certainly explains a few things
po, Jan 16 2002
  

       If you have problems sticking a pill in your cat's mouth, then getting this torture device installed on the cat would certainly be even more difficult.

Assuming that the cat lets you pick it up, pet it, and so forth, then the task isn't that hard. Gently grab the cat from the back of the head, with thumb on one side of the jaw and middle finger on the other (try to put your digits on the hinge of the jaw). Press gently but firmly, and the cat's mouth will open. Tuck the pill as far back in the mouth as you can.

If it's a psycho cat, or it just doesn't like you, then it sometimes works to wrap it tightly in a towel first. Though this can make the cat even more psycho.

Halitosis in a cat probably means bad teeth.
quarterbaker, Jan 16 2002
  

       It amazes me that someone with so much antipathy toward cats would own one.
beauxeault, Jan 16 2002
  

       Pilling a cat is a learned technique, one at which unfortunately I have become skilled due to having a chronically ill cat (who finally passed on last week).   

       The technique is as qb illustrates. However, immediately afterward, it's necessary to close the cat's mouth and hold it closed, with the same hand that held it open. Tilt the cat's head straight back and rapidly downstroke the throat to force the cat to swallow. This last step was crucial when administering to my aforementioned cat, who was notorious for under-tonguing the pill and depositing it on the floor a half-hour later.   

       Also, do it fast. Speed is of the essence. Grab, open, drop, close, tilt, stroke, done.
waugsqueke, Jan 16 2002
  

       Waugs - oops, I forgot to mention the need for speed. I'd never tried the throat rub thing, I've usually been able to stick the pill far enough down the throat that the cat has no choice. Sorry to hear about your cat dying - I'm lucky that 2 of my 3 cats are in excellent health - the other suffers from obesity (i've got her on a diet now, and she is losing weight) and related complications (screwy hips). I once gave the fat one 6 pills in a row. Had to use the towel -- it's amazing limber a grossly overweight cat can be -- and she hated me for days. Had to tranquilize her for trip to vet. Poor thing ripped up a new vet on his first day out of vet school, and he demanded she be sedated for future visits.
quarterbaker, Jan 16 2002
  

       [QB]: Oddly, our cat is mildy allergic to his own teeth (weird, huh?).  His breath can be pretty unpleasant but noticeable only if you are holding his mouth open.
bristolz, Jan 16 2002
  

       OK whose cat can spit the pill the furthest? I claim 4 feet and under the fridge - "Chunky" (tom)
po, Jan 16 2002
  

       bris - that is odd - how was it determined?

btw - I am mildly allergic to myself, it seems - at least my face is quite reactive to my own hair - wierd
quarterbaker, Jan 16 2002
  

       wired?
po, Jan 16 2002
  

       The vet diagnosed it and said it really wasn't that uncommon. The gumline is pretty much constantly inflamed. I only have a problem with my hair on my face if I have smeared my hair with peanut butter.
bristolz, Jan 16 2002
  

       get a new vet, bristolz
po, Jan 16 2002
  

       po - argh! I'll leave it. Did it in another thread, too. Leaving it alone keeps me humble.

bris - too bad - pb is one of the best ways to get bubble gum out of hair (a common event in your life, I'm sure (not))
quarterbaker, Jan 16 2002
  

       qb, you have very little to be humble about dear. sorry I teased you.
po, Jan 16 2002
  

       I've broad shoulders, m' dear, and thick skin. [oddly enough, literal skin thickness is one of the most variable human traits]
quarterbaker, Jan 16 2002
  

       qb, READ AGAIN, it was meant as compliment, twit
po, Jan 16 2002
  

       year older, year meaner. the new mean me! no more nice po.
po, Jan 16 2002
  

       po - oops, I understand. But now you've gone too far with that "twit" comment.
quarterbaker, Jan 16 2002
  

       I guess I should have mentioned that I was kidding. I love small, completely self-indulgent things that only show up to eat and sleep. I have two kids, after all.
outbroker, Jan 17 2002
  

       We have a cat that has required a pill twice a day for the last three years, and right from the start have utilised a Pill Popper device. Sort of looks like a syringe but holds the pill on its end, and when gently pushed inside the cats mouth you 'inject' the pill into the back of the throat. Works fine.
Alcin, Jan 17 2002
  

       will it work with pretzels?
po, Jan 17 2002
  

       I once tried the "mash it into cat's food" method, but the cat in question could tell, and refused to eat the food.   

       Best thing I found was to prepare a meal for yourself that the cat would also want (e.g. almost anything), cut a small piece off and mash the pill into that. When the cat comes to the table and begs for tidbits, give it that piece and it'll wolf it down before it notices your cunning ruse.
CoolerKing, Jan 17 2002
  

       [CK]: Your cat has more gullibility in his lineage than does my cat.
bristolz, Jan 17 2002
  

       our cartoons are funny, bliss
po, Jan 17 2002
  

       Oh man, did you really just call someone "blockhead"? Priceless, bliss.
waugsqueke, Jan 17 2002
  

       our first argument, idiot
po, Jan 17 2002
  

       Ah, blockhead! A fine and respectable profession. See link.
DrBob, Jan 17 2002
  

       I had a cat that needed frequent pilling... so I thought, how do humans take pills? With water! So I started using the same thing on the cat. I turn her over in my lap, open the jaw, put the pill in the back of the throat, then pour a tiny bit of water from a cup into the cat's mouth. She has to swallow because of the water. It worked great... even better, after doing this a few times, the cat was so upset by getting wet, that she decided to just swallow the pill as soon as I put it in her mouth to avoid the water. Now I don't even have to pick her up, I just put the pill in her mouth wherever she's sitting and she swallows it... the few times this didn't work... back came the water.
Aurora, Jul 09 2002
  
      
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