Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Club Bacchanal Nursing Home

"Party till you drop!"
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[Not to be confused with Roulette Acres (q.v.), by the way]

Well, so you're finally retired. No more responsibilities, no more worries... But maybe you've got some kind of chronic health condition that is slowly going to eat away at your quality of life, not to mention your retirement account.

Why not just cut to the chase - and party your ass off at Club Bacchanal?

At Club Bacchanal, the party never stops. This place is never serene, never sedate - hell, here at Club Bacchanal, we practically never *sleep*. It's Plato's Retreat, CBGB's, Mardi Gras, and Woodstock all rolled up into one massive sensory overload.

Rock'n'Roll? Three different dance rooms keep the beat going 24/7. Drugs? We got 'em, and they're all legally prescribed by our own Dr. Feelgood! Alcohol? All you can stand. Sex? Well, that's up to you*!

Our turnover rate is incredible**, so there's always another spot opening up at Club Bacchanal! So get ready to "PARTY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE"!

* ED drugs and other adaptive technologies are covered by most insurance programs.

** Average survival time: 30 days after admission. Your mileage may vary.

smendler, Feb 02 2013

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       ... short as it may become. [+]
absterge, Sep 29 2015
  

       Nearly three years twixt idea and first anno - must have been one hell of a party.
normzone, Sep 29 2015
  
      
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