Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Dinner Suit

You know, for spills
  (+8, -2)
(+8, -2)
  [vote for,

For those times when you go out to dinner and have plans to go the theatre afterwards, invest in a Dinner Suit.

A disposable, tailored suit reminiscent of the finest anywhere in the world. Available at restaurant cloakrooms and hotel concierges, for purchase. Charcoal, navy, pinstripes, checks... your choice.

No more shuffling napkins about on your lap, just slip on a Dinner Suit and let it bear the brunt of your messy culinary habits. Then, once you've finished your meal simply peel it off, roll it up and toss it in the wastebasket provided.

Also available in "evening wear" and children's sizes.

UnaBubba, Feb 02 2013

This would simplify matters... Silverwear
[normzone, Feb 05 2013]


       The three course tuxpseudo would be a hit for Prom.   

       Quite nice, indeedy. +
blissmiss, Feb 02 2013


UnaBubba, Feb 02 2013

       In the fifties and early sixties, we called these "bibs", and they were "u-bib-quitous" for all age groups in all sorts of dining establishments, but especially those specialising in surf and turf menus. They were never as stylish as the Dinner Suits described here, but they served a useful function. It was probably an easy decision for cost-conscious restaurateurs to dispense with the additional expense of stocking this minor frill in lieu of increasing menu prices as margins shrank with inflation.
jurist, Feb 03 2013

       Hola, [jurist]. Long time no see...
normzone, Feb 03 2013

       fomal swimwear - Tuxspeedo.
FlyingToaster, Feb 03 2013

       You mean you don't normally change after dinner but before the theater? Shocking decline in standards!
pocmloc, Feb 03 2013

       Please to come in dresses, also for us messy women? [+]
floral prints, sheers, and a touch of lace.
xandram, Feb 03 2013

       What she said.
blissmiss, Feb 03 2013

       Kebab shops should supply dinner romper boiler-suits, for those special intimate moments of ever ending spillage.
skinflaps, Feb 03 2013

blissmiss, Feb 03 2013

       You wear hosable underwear?
pocmloc, Feb 03 2013

       Hence hosiery.
skinflaps, Feb 03 2013

       That's why I proposed "evening wear", [xandram] & [bliss].
UnaBubba, Feb 03 2013

       There's this restaurant in Timbuktu where we deliver every night.
UnaBubba, Feb 04 2013

       // That's why I proposed "evening wear", [xandram] & [bliss].//
But I don't do pin stripe, checks charcoal- too boring.
xandram, Feb 04 2013

       You know, people, it is possible to eat a meal without getting it down your front. Use of cutlery may help.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 04 2013

       Try eating a Singapore Chili Crab without getting at least *some* on you, [Max].
UnaBubba, Feb 04 2013

       //Try eating a Singapore Chili Crab without getting at least *some* on you//   

       I have and I didn't (not get any on me).
AusCan531, Feb 05 2013

       I was doing OK until I stripped one of the legs and it flicked all over me.
UnaBubba, Feb 05 2013

       Ribs are OK, if you start out with a knife and fork. Here. a sloppy joe is an article of clothing.
UnaBubba, Feb 05 2013

       Indeed, [bigs].   

       We can even do period costumes and special regional costumes if you wish. Hell, you want your dinner party to look like the Beagle Boys? All you have to do is book ahead, 671-176.
UnaBubba, Feb 05 2013

       //if you can eat a sloppy joe sandwich or a rack of barbeque ribs without getting any sauce on your clothing, then you are not eating it right.// (a) cutlery is provided for your convenience and hygiene and (b) the sort of person who eats a sloppy joe is statistically unlikely to be going on to the theatre afterwards.   

       Now is the winter of our discontent
made gloriously dumber by this bun on a fork.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 05 2013

       //Using cutlery to eat ribs...is a sin//   

       Oh, go on then - I'll give you that one.   

       However, under what possible set of social norms is one likely to eat ribs before going to the theatre? Or indeed whilst wearing anything but the most informal of attire?
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 05 2013

       Thst's more weight to the argument that you can't choose your relatives, however much that might be desirable.
UnaBubba, Feb 05 2013

       //a barbeque on the beach, with all the men wearing tuxedos// I did say social norms.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 05 2013

//a barbecue on the beach, with all the men wearing tuxedos///

       TuxSpeedos? And BarB-kinis?
csea, Feb 05 2013

       //I did say social norms//   

       We're talking about America here, [MB]. "Social norms" is filed under an entirely different definition to the one you understand.
UnaBubba, Feb 05 2013


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