h a l f b a k e r y
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Dogs are pack animals; to share and conserve heat, when required,
they sleep in heaps.
In human homes, they like to sleep on or by humans. Some breeds
have been specifically bred to be lap-dogs and bed-dogs, keeping
humans warm when required. Indigenous Australians use the term
night" to describe cold conditions.
To provide comfort and reassurance to older dogs, BorgCo are
developing a thermostatically controlled electrically heated artificial
dog, to share a bed with a real dog which requires additional warmth.
The fake dog has a removable, washable faux-fur cover and comes in
a range of sizes. The heater is safe low voltage with a remote double-
The de luxe version has a moving ribcage to simulate breathing, and
can be programmed to produce a variety of lifelike snores, grunts,
snuffles and sighs at variable volume.
Dog wrapping blanket
Prior Art by [Toto Anders] acknowledged. [8th of 7, Dec 29 2014]
Three dog night
Strange but true. [8th of 7, Dec 29 2014]
[MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 29 2014]
Those extra strength ones used at the driving range. [wjt, Dec 30 2014]
Relevant. [8th of 7, Dec 30 2014]
||I think you're trying to automate the dog, or at least a few
of it's functions. Obviously this counterfeit will be unable to
come when you call it, become agitated at the presence of
burglars or have an enthusiastic demeanor. Now, cats on
the other hand, have none of those positive dog features. A
Cat that only slept quietly while breathing steadily would be
an improvement on the wildly unpredictable original model.
Making the living cats (more) superfluous (than they already
||There is just one fundamental flaw with this idea.
||We disagree. There are at least three.
||Experience has shown that the concepts of "indoors" and
"thermite" are mutually exclusive. And everyone knows there
ain't no Sanity Clause
||"The heater is safe low voltage ..."
||Since when does BorgCo care if something is safe for its
||//Since when does BorgCo care if something is safe for its
||// BorgCo care if something is safe for its customers ? //
||When its customers are elderly canines in need of warmth and
||<Groucho Marx> Outside of a dog, a book is man's
best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.