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Hands-free Autoproctoscope

A necessity
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In a development of the technology pioneered by the BorgCo Autorhiniscope <link>, this wonderful new product uses virtual reality and cleverly-designed optics (including an integral illumination system).

The wearer is presented with a clear, unmistakeable 3D colour image of their own buttocks, but due to the design they need not touch the equipment at all - it responds to voice commands.

Specially manufactured to assist those involved in negotiating the Brexit settlement, as they clearly can't find their own arses* with both hands.

*Those who have attended public schools may have less difficulty when the task involves a second party.

8th of 7, Dec 29 2018

Autorhinoscope Autorhinoscope
Blatant elf-promotion [8th of 7, Dec 29 2018]

[link]






       There could be a TV audience version of the same procedure..... Like ITV's dreadful Bullseye programme from the 70s - "Bernie - The Bolt"
xenzag, Dec 29 2018
  

       I can only assume that rations in the Cube lack fibre.
not_morrison_rm, Dec 29 2018
  

       Thankfully, we have no requirement for such a device.
8th of 7, Dec 30 2018
  

       Alternatively, remove buttocks surgically & graft to chest.   

       Once they have a clear & unobstructed view of their own buttocks the task of finding it with both hands should then be far less taxing of their limited intellects.   

       A certain amount of re-plumbing will be required of course.   

       And parliaments loos will need a redesign.
Skewed, Dec 30 2018
  

       // graft to chest //   

       The face, shirley ? Augment their cheeks with ... bigger cheeks !   

       The placement will be perfect, as they already talk out of their arses ...
8th of 7, Dec 30 2018
  

       // Autoproctoscope //   

       spelling: Glutealoscope   

       I suppose it incorporates a suction cup to mount to various surfaces?
wjt, Dec 31 2018
  
      
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