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Increase your apparent IQ

Internet become part of your brain
  (+2, -6)
(+2, -6)
  [vote for,

Do you really want to be smart, that will take a lot of hard work. How about just look very smart in front other people? It is just as good, right?

With high speed wireless internet, voice recognition program, a AI search engine, you can be a genius for a low monthly fee.

Here is how is work, you wear inconceivable small computer on you with microphone and retinal projection display. The microphone will listen to people's word around you, pick buzz word and guess what they are talking about and search internet to display information. By cleverly work in the word in your conversation, you can ask the computer to display interesting information you don't want to remember. "Have you read DR. STANELY's paper on NEW ENGLAND's Journal?" "NEW ENGLAND's JOURNAL, STANELY, just this morning, interesting one." while you try to stall, you are reading the headline of the paper on the display. "Of course, the new treatement of breast cancer, I know quiet a bit about DR. STANELY, you know I recommend the patient JANE to him and I suggest the idea to him since I know he was doing the research and JANE was the ideal candidate of the treatement, you can say he own half of his success to me, HAHA"

bing, Jun 19 2002

RealThought Media v. 6.2 http://www.halfbake...edia_20v_2e_206_2e2
Very similar idea... [RayfordSteele, Jun 19 2002, last modified Oct 17 2004]


       And you'll be the first customer, right? =)
gizmo_man, Jun 19 2002

       It might screw up and have you blabbing on about STANLEY finding DR. Livingston via Tarzan and JANE.
FarmerJohn, Jun 19 2002

       I think that cure for beast cancer is the real breakthrough here. I do not want any of my beasts dying of cancer if at all possible.
hinkle, Jun 19 2002

       Of course the problem with using the internet for information is that half the time you'll be either full of shit or obsessed with sex.
-alx, Jun 19 2002

       // Of course the problem with using the internet for information is that half the time you'll be either full of shit or obsessed with sex. //   

       Nothing new there, but at least i'd be better informed.
sadie, Jun 20 2002

       alx: people were either full of shit or obsessed with sex (or both) WAY before the internet was thought up. he he :o)
#1Fan, Jun 21 2002

       Despite the apparatus, you will sabotage the illusion of intelligence if you say "I know quiet a bit! He own half of his success to me!" and the rest of the babelfish-looking example above.
bungston, Jan 11 2003

       as for the full of shit/obbsesed with sex thing no one would notice the difference with me
engineer1, Feb 13 2004

       //Increase your apparent IQ //
Duhhh, this sounds great! Where do I pay?
phundug, Apr 09 2007

       HB ruins your theory. You think you got smarter by searching and reading all kinds of online facts and research. You put it all together on the Half, and then get attacked by a flock of killer fish who bake you to the bones.   

       (Annotate this take from bing search and google translate. So you can say he owe half of bone to JANE. HAHA)
pashute, Jul 17 2011

       The other option, of course is too kill a few really clever people. As IQ is set so the overall average is 100, removing the top will also move the average, so your measure will go up.
neutrinos_shadow, Jul 17 2011

       I'm enough of a know-it-all already, thank you very much. I don't need some fancy electronic gizmo to help me be even more obnoxious.
Alterother, Jul 17 2011


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