Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The phrase 'crumpled heap' comes to mind.

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Insta-Beard

Immediate beardage without the all the fuzz
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Having shaved off the 'tache, I'm now growing it back again to take part in a Murder Mystery party. However, from now until almost before the party, my appearance is going make cats howl, milk curdle and generally bring disaster to all and sundry. Why - because moustaches take time to grow.

When we shuffle off this mortal coil, a little known side-effect is that our skin shrinks as it dehydrates, giving the appearance of stubble where all the hair follices are. Most male corpses (and probably some female ones too) end up having short beards and moustaches.

Vainglorious people (such as Hollywood stars and Cliff Richard) already have treatment to remove wrinkles etc. It is but a short step to have skin reduction surgery, painlessly removing some layers of the dermis and epidermis, thus exposing more of the hair.

New Insta-Beard. No more do people have to look at you quizzically wondering whether you know if you look a mess. Important meetings don't dissolve into wisecracks about the availability of razors.

PeterSilly, Sep 09 2002

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       Don't grow a 'tache...grow a full beard. That way you can go through the slightly less painful stages of facial hair...   

       1. Designer stubble
2. Bum fluff
3. Unkempt
4. Tinker/Hobo
5. Whiskers
6. Beard
  

       Then shave off the bits you don't want and 'Hey Presto' a 'tache! Much easier then pretending to be a corpse.
Jinbish, Sep 09 2002
  

       So you just have to see a shrink?
General Washington, Sep 09 2002
  
      
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