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LOL Enforcer

You can't post "LOL" successfully unless you're actually laughing
  [vote for,

I always ensure that I laugh out loud whenever I type LOL in anger. However, you're just going to have to accept my honesty here. You shouldn't have to though.

Many devices nowadays have microphones and the like. Their input methods vary, but all of them appear to end in the transmission of characters, in this case L followed by O followed by L.

My proposal is that the input of such letters should do two things:

Firstly, the microphone should be monitored to see if laughter can be detected. If it cannot be, the LOL will be deleted and the user will not be allowed to lie.

Secondly, a tickling device of some kind should extrude from the device and induce tattifilarity a la Ken Dodd, possibly with vegan feathers on it, in order to induce laughter if the sounds are not detected.

Moreover, the user's voice should be monitored at other times in order to avoid fakery by merely getting someone else to laugh or playing a sample of someone laughing. A camera should also monitor the user's face for visual evidence of laughter.

If the evidence is not forthcoming, an electric shock should be administered.

Bear in mind that laughter being the best medicine, this is a service to us all, and it would make the world a more hilarious place.

nineteenthly, Nov 13 2015

lol is dead long live the jejejeje http://www.theguard...0/lol-facebook-haha
[calum, Nov 13 2015]

An excellent companion tool. Fingerlock_20Glove
[21 Quest, Nov 21 2015]


       + Although I'm anti-LOL, this is good. I just type haha, which proves I'm laughing!
xandram, Nov 13 2015

       What she said. I have never wrote LOL, till just this minute. And it felt awful. EWWWWWwww.
blissmiss, Nov 13 2015

pocmloc, Nov 13 2015

       Does this count?   

Vernon, Nov 13 2015

       I'm okay with LOL but tend to use it in chat situations rather than less ephemeral ones. Oh, and I wanted to add that there should be keyboards with no L or O keys.
nineteenthly, Nov 13 2015

       //there should be keyboards with no L or O keys.//   

       Sp.: there shd be keybards with n r keys.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 13 2015

       I am AOK with non-actual lollage triggering lol usage, so long as people are clear when they have, in fact, done an actual lol. In other words, I am down with this idea, just skinned differently.
calum, Nov 13 2015

       4x LOL (certified)
ixnaum, Nov 16 2015

       It applies to ROFL although the overheads of the software might not be worth it. To LMAO, yes it can but in that case it also dials the emergency services.
nineteenthly, Nov 16 2015

       I have a friend who was so influenced by ICQ and Messenger that he would pause in mid speech to insert a quick "smiley" face while actually talking.   

       Since the Hebrew Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha is written as HHHHH (the vowels are implicit) he would laugh H. H. H. H. H. with no vowels.
pashute, Nov 16 2015

       // I am AOK with non-actual lollage triggering lol usage, so long as people are clear when they have, in fact, done an actual lol. //   

       I think that was the idea behind AC ('audible chuckle'), but it never caught on like LOL did.
notexactly, Nov 19 2015

       Does laughing out loud include the rushing noise caused by air coming out of your nose at quite a high flow rate, for example high enough to risk accidentally ejecting a little bit of snot? That's what just happened when I read [Max]'s spelling correction.
bhumphrys, Nov 19 2015

nineteenthly, Nov 19 2015

       //the Hebrew Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha is written as HHHHH (the vowels are implicit)// hw bzzr.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 19 2015

       o a iae a i i !
pocmloc, Nov 19 2015

       What about ROTFL?
travbm, Nov 19 2015

       Brilliance... sheer brilliance!
21 Quest, Nov 21 2015


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