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Pimp My Scooter

Addressing feelings of vehicular inadequacy
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I've just been standing outside my place of work having a crafty smoke when a rhythmic rattling of windows announced the approach of a fully kitted-out beast of a car. It glided by, throbbing like an enormous angry bee, stereo blazing, chrome gleaming, fins and spoilers jutting out in all directions, neon-cool blue under-lighting and all manner of other extravagant blingesquery.

I couldn't help feeling a wave of anxiety when I realised that my trusty scooter, bashed-up and paint-flecked as it is, will never in its wildest dreams be able to impart the full sense of awe and amusement that this testament to bad taste was capable of.

Then it came to me, I am suffering from an acute state of pimp envy.

What is needed is a range of modifications that allow the lowly scooter rider to fully express their machismo in equal fashion. Fancy spinning chrome rims, neon underlights, woofers, tweeters, fins and spoilers - the works.

zen_tom, Dec 02 2004

Episode 1 http://web.archive....e-mirrors-vespa.jpg
[Worldgineer, Dec 02 2004]

Episode 2 http://web.archive....oters/scooter17.jpg
[Worldgineer, Dec 02 2004]

Episode 3 http://web.archive....oters/scooter14.jpg
[Worldgineer, Dec 02 2004]

Episode 4 http://web.archive....n-133-cs-mod-li.jpg
[Worldgineer, Dec 02 2004]

Helmet Mohawks http://web.archive....0,00000011,00000033
[Letsbuildafort, Dec 03 2004]

MTV: "Pimp My Ride" http://www.mtv.com/...y_ride/series.jhtml
The reality television show that I take it the idea's name is a take on. [jutta, Dec 03 2004]

(??) A few ideas for [zen] http://www.scootcul..._scooters_index.htm
[Worldgineer, Dec 03 2004]

(??) Give it up and buy a YSR http://www.leblancf...%20Pics/default.htm
[Yamaha] [Letsbuildafort, Dec 03 2004]

(?) Chrome Spinners for Scooters! http://cgi.ebay.com...tem&item=4588476658
Spinners for scooters: "... you pull up to a light and you stop, but your chrome wheels keep on spinnin'" [land, Nov 29 2005]


       This is often a topic of conversation in the Bajaj yahoo group I'm in. Sadly, there are no 10" spinner wheels on the market, but they make 8" ones for golf carts (yes, people pimp out their golf carts).
Worldgineer, Dec 02 2004

       Hey, maybe if you wear a viking helmet (those crazy ones with horns) you'll strike envy in the people who don't need helmets to drive their pimped out rides--not to mention imparting awe and amusement for bad taste.
Machiavelli, Dec 02 2004

       Learn to wheelie the thing, and wheelie it often. Seriously.   

       I know Honda Metro scooters already come with a lot of polishing work and sleek, round curves. But then again, so does an exotic dancer with metal teeth.
Letsbuildafort, Dec 02 2004

       Wow [Worldgineer] those are some Pimped Up Scooters!   

       My bike needs something more 80's though, classic chrome would make it look like I was dressing it up to be something it wasn't.   

       [Machiavelli] A Viking helmet would be pretty good, but needs to be extra shiny, and have *exceptionally* large horns to get the effect I'm looking for. Though it might be a departure too far from the modern-lines of my Lead.   

       [Letsbuildafort] I think I've met her - Popping wheelies isn't something I've properly attempted, but I can see it's a necessary part of the ensemble.
zen_tom, Dec 02 2004

       This gets an automatic bun. I had the same idea, but for Larks etc. (4 wheel electric transportation for people who have trouble walking)
Shz, Dec 03 2004

       You could do the same thing for garden impliments, like fitting spinners to a wheel barrow or lowering a shovel and adding a 5kw sound system. The program would be called "Pimp my Hoe".
Belfry, Dec 03 2004

       [World]'s links show scooters with many, many mirrors. All allow the rider to see behind. He is, if you will, the focus for all these mirrors. What do you think happens when the sun is behind him? Always found this amusing.
david_scothern, Dec 03 2004

       The focus issue is why scooterists always hold their rallys on UK Bank Holidays. The poor weather traditional then makes this a non-issue.
oneoffdave, Mar 17 2005

       Auto-bun for "blingesquery", one of the coolest neologisms I've seen in years.   

       And, despite young goodman [worldgineer]'s protestations to the contrary, there *are* spinner wheels for scooters! See link above.
land, Nov 29 2005


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