h a l f b a k e r y
(Rolling in flour, halfbaking my ass off)
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Too often, butlers are seen as stuffy guys named Jeeves wearing tuxes with permanent frowns etched on their faces. I'm willing to bet that that image prevents the full growth potential of the industry. As rich people are often the eccentric sort, there should exist a significant percentage, that would
enjoy and benefit from having a butler if he fit more in with their lifestyle. Furthermore, as there exists in any subculture a set of unwritten social customs and rules, an unobtrusive method of communicating those rules would be of great benefit to any subcultural newbie.
Therefore I propose the Punk and Deadhead School of Fine Butlery. The rock star wanna-be who forsook his dream of becoming a butler to instead shack up as a band roadie can now at last merge his dream with his reality. And the butler who longs to leave his stodgy surroundings for a more daring master of the house can unleash himself in a safe environment.
Music Appreciation Lab: Exploring the works of Beethoven, Chopin, and the Talking Heads.
Fine Arts 102: the Culture of the Grateful Dead
Fashion 101: Explorative Hairstyling with Gelatin, Egg Whites, and spray paint.
Language Arts 201: Latin and its usage in Death Metal
Home Economics 112: Tailoring Leather
Home Economics 243: Home Decoration with Leftover Escargot Shells
Social Studies 312: The Proper Dinner Party in Deadhead Society, Toasting Tips
Home Economics 313: Bathroom Cleanup Tips after the Proper Dinner Party
Art History 315: Early American Graffiti
Home Economics 245 : Beer Can Fen Shui
||Well, the school isn't baked, but punk butlers are nothing new, eg. Riff Raff, from Rocky Horror.
||Diplomatic clearing of one's throat:
The master of the house has arrived, crocked as usual.
The mistress will appear momentarily, after a bit more thrashing about.
The cook is walking the trout; soup's on.
Smoking lamp is lit, I'm off to drink the dame's bathwater.
You don't like opera; I don't like opera. Telephone.
||I am the undermaid to the 1st maid of the parlour - (doffs cap) what is your pleasure? mr reensure or may I retire?
||I'll bed late to take up laundry, save the above styled.