Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Expensive, difficult, slightly dangerous, not particularly effective... I'm on a roll.

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Rent-A -Dwarf

For the Normal
  (+14, -3)(+14, -3)
(+14, -3)
  [vote for,

Some engineering and maintainance tasks are actually quite difficult for adult humans to perform - working on canal boat engines, wiring in confined spaces, repairing the edges of a roof - simply because an average adult human is simply too large to fit in the available space.

We propose a specialised employment agency which lists only persons of greatly below average stature, who are avaialble for an appropriate fee to use their special abilities for the benefit of others and their own personal gain.

This proposal in no way demeans or disparages small humans - in fact, it glorifies their special abilities.

8th of 7, Jul 22 2009

Inspired by this? I read it yesterday. http://www.cnn.com/...o11.irpt/index.html
"an average adult humkan" [normzone, Jul 22 2009]

Lavish Dwarf Entertainment http://www.shortdwarf.com/
This organization could probably help you find what you're looking for. [sninctown, Jul 24 2009]

Wikipedia: Dwarfism: Terminology http://en.wikipedia...warfism#Terminology
I thought "dwarf" wasn't politically correct, but that may be shifting. It's not technically correct - many little people don't have dwarfism. [jutta, Jul 26 2009]

Another LP agency. http://www.tinyentertainment.com/
Entertainers, not aircraft maintenance engineers. [jutta, Jul 26 2009]


       Long skinny arms could be useful too, as would an eye on the back of the head... in other words it's an idea that could embrace more than just the vertically challenged. Excellent +
xenzag, Jul 22 2009

       There are certain sexual activities that are difficult for average sized or tall people to perform. You should place a list of some in your glorified special abilities catalog.+
vfrackis, Jul 22 2009

       Is there going to be a Rent-A-Troll catalog that vfrackis can place an ad in, too?
jutta, Jul 22 2009

       chimney sweeping...
pocmloc, Jul 22 2009


       Double Knee?
skinflaps, Jul 22 2009

       [+] Somewhat baked. I have considered contacting my local LPA chapter to see if anyone wanted to do some temporary work for me. Sometimes I have tasks where getting into an attic or a crawl space just isn't practical for a guy 6'2" and 300+ lbs.
Jscotty, Jul 23 2009

       Trolls have feelings too! As do Little People and that is the very point that I attempted to make about this idea.   

       "Rent a Dwarf" Marked for Deletion this idea is not altruistic how about "Rent a Mexican" for when you need yard work or "Rent a Nazi" for when you need a fascist or "rent a Jew" for when you need an accountant   

       Double Knee is a new way for individuals who feel different to stand out as unique thus a fashion post.   

       also if I am a troll then 21 is a troll too.
vfrackis, Jul 23 2009

       I have been considering the virtues of trained capuchin monkeys for similar reasons.
gnomethang, Jul 23 2009

       I'm fairly sure that small persons are employed to inspect and repair inside the wing fuel tanks of passenger aircraft (complete with anti-slosh plates), which makes it tough for normal-sized rescue personnel to extricate them in the event of accident or incapacitation.
coprocephalous, Jul 23 2009

       I think any lady-of-the-evening who advertised "former Olympic gymnast" or the like on her resume would get a higher than average amount of business enquirires...   

       Bodyguards and doormen are required to be massive, basketball players tall, aforesaid fighter jockeys short.   

       [v] "Rent-a-Nazi" is quite appropriate if you want a Nazi type fascist, your other two examples are just racist. Is it worth googling to find out what a "double knee" is ?
FlyingToaster, Jul 23 2009

       I'm gonna guess no. Also, you can already get midget strippers and midgets with strippers that come to your house. I'm sure they could be bribed into doing some chores in between dances? So, it really already exists. However, the midget market is being revamped here to accommodate a new niche: people who want midgets to do chores while nothing sexy happens. This is all very forward-thinking. +
daseva, Jul 23 2009

       // So, it really already exists //   

       Extensive Googling has only turned up references to the entertainment industries. This idea goes beyond that in that the people involved should have practical technical skills and training.   

       // Rent-A-Troll catalog //   

       Look in the back pages of Troll Hunter Monthly, between the advert for BorgCo Explosive Troll Harpoons and MaxCo's range of Troll Traps.   

       // this idea is not altruistic // Agreed. The small people, and the people running the agency (who many be of any size) both make money from it. No-one is exploited, humiliated or demeaned and jobs get done quickly and efficently.   

       Actually, that's giving us second thoughts about this ..   

       // how about "Rent a Mexican" for when you need yard work //   

       ... or a Mariachi band ? Or really good chilli and tacos ?   

       // or "Rent a Nazi" for when you need a fascist // Why rent ? we have them wholesale ....   

       // or "rent a Jew" for when you need an accountant //   

       Some accountants are Jewish. Some Jews are accountants . Not all accountants are Jewsish, nor are all Jews accountants (in fact, the vast majority are normal, decent people rather that accountants).   

       Franchise opportunites for "Rent-A-Rant" available soon - call an 0800 number, and [vfrackis] will call at your home and deliver a childish, specious and badly reasoned argument in a high-pitched, whiny voice.....
8th of 7, Jul 23 2009

       the name "Rent-A-Dwarf" is not demeaning or disrespectful?   

       demeaning and disrespectful is far worse than lewd and nasty because demeaning and disrespectful can damage people emotionally   

       just like suggesting that someone is a troll in a public forum   

       How did you know that I have a whiny voice?   

       it was the clap thing 21, Sorry, and you know misery loves company
vfrackis, Jul 23 2009

       // the name "Rent-A-Dwarf" is not demeaning or disrespectful? ? //   

       "Rent-a-car" "Rent-a-home" "rent-a-smile" "rent-a-keg" "rent-a-dog" (Amazing) "rent-a-tent"   

       Rent = hire Dwarf = "of below-average size"   

       "Hire a dwarf ?"   

       "Specialist small person's employment agency" ?   

       The idea title does not have to be the title of the agency.   

       // How did you know that I have a whiny voice? //   

       We are monitoring you. We have been watching your every move - for some time. And it's not pleasant. DON'T do that, it's DISGUSTING.
8th of 7, Jul 24 2009

       There's nothing discriminatory, either legally or morally, in hiring people on the basis of a characteristic which genuinely affects their ability to perform the task. And persons of smaller stature are more often than not discriminated ~against~ in terms of employment. This agency would allow them access to more useful work than stripping, sex work, and being tossed across bars by drunks. Therefore, [+]
BunsenHoneydew, Jul 26 2009

       //For the Normal// What would be accepted as proof of normalcy?
pertinax, Jul 26 2009

       You didn't get your laminated Normal card in the mail like all of us? Uh-oh...
jutta, Jul 26 2009

       Yes, he got it, but he ate it (again).
8th of 7, Jul 26 2009

       <spits out remnants of neighbors "normal" card>   

       But is the billing discreet? My credit card statement already has a decidedly deviant theme.   

MikeD, Jul 26 2009


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