Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Ring of Things

Often lost things on a ring
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A company that sells things you often lose attached to small carabiners by little wire cables.

The company sells 4 - 8 inch steel rings and stocks such items as fingernail clippers, medicine vials, scissors, eyeglass cases for extra eyeglasses, Chapstick, Sharpie pens, little brass calipers, magnifying glasses, little sewing kits, eyeglass repair kits, multi tools, flashlights, little rolls of heavy twine, clamshell cases for earbuds with earbuds inside, laserpointers, tictacks, thumb drives, little tape measures, and toothbrush cases. All of these objects have their own little carabiner attached.

The company also sells carabiners with sleeves for duplicate credit cards, and carabiners with keyrings for any item you already have that has a hole in it. Also little wire cables with lugs for the do it yourselfers.

Having the carabiner attached will be very helpful in getting these objects back to where they are kept, because the carabiner indicates that this is a Ring Item.

Also, children and bad adults will be less inclined to snake your small items if a distinct color of carabiner is permanently attached to them.

These would be great gifts for kids going to college and other people who lose things often.

nomocrow, Feb 04 2020

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       // that sells things you often lose //   

       You can buy [xenzag]'s sanity ? Cool ...
8th of 7, Feb 04 2020
  

       Yes, better to attach them to something more solid, like the Parthenon.   

       Or maybe put them in a museum ...
8th of 7, Feb 04 2020
  

       Hmmm, not convinced. Where does the ring attach to small children at supermarkets?
darque, Feb 05 2020
  

       [+/-]
Voice, Feb 05 2020
  

       // small children at supermarkets? //   

       The idea explicitly states "helpful in getting these objects back". Why would you want a child back once you had managed to lose it ? Is not the best thing to make a rapid, discreet exit, preferably to another continent, without leaving any contact details ?
8th of 7, Feb 05 2020
  

       Statistically, women are drawn to men who are clearly inept with small children; obviously one returns them to their parents before coitus. They need to be relatively unsoiled to ensure they are available next weekend.   

       Surely you don't expect me to use my pasty complexion, underdeveloped musculature, carbuncles and vacuous personality to get me sexual release? Most unsatisfactory.
darque, Feb 06 2020
  

       Don't be too sure; it's worked for the rest of us.
pertinax, Feb 06 2020
  
      
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