Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Go ahead. Stick a fork in it.

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Rectum Septum

More, though smaller
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(+5, -6)
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A very delicately-installed double piercing, between the ends of which is strung a sterilised cheesewire chord, to effortlessly slice your stools asunder.
calum, Nov 05 2012

Check out the silly fake exhaust pipes on that http://www.6speedon...8-exhaust-tips.html
Scroll about a page down, till you see the black 911 turbo, check out the silly exhaust detailling and then join me in my righteous contempt. [zen_tom, Nov 05 2012]

Wind Harp http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wind_harp
//Can you play it?// I'm glad you arsed. [spidermother, Nov 05 2012]


       Very sick. Very, very sick.
blissmiss, Nov 05 2012

       On the plus side, if you ever get sent to prison (and I refrain from speculating how probable this is for [calum]) you're less likely to get assaulted in the showers.
hippo, Nov 05 2012

       Ewww! Yellow cards [calum] and [hippo]!   

       //you're less likely to get assaulted in the showers//   

       Also, pedantically, shouldn't that read:   

       //you're less likely to get assaulted in the showers...more than once.//   

       And finally, widening the thought outward a little - I've noticed a few different exhaust-pipes on sporty cars are sometimes made to look as though they are doubly exhaustive - but which on closer inspection are the same single exhaust, but with a false "doubler" fitted to the end - to most unsatisfying effect.
zen_tom, Nov 05 2012

       whew, thanks for talking about cars [zt] !!!!
what if they wanted to slice veggies there?
xandram, Nov 05 2012

       Good point xandram, if sharp enough, the wire could result in being assaulted in the showers twice at once.
calum, Nov 05 2012

       My mother once angrily commented on the car in front: "Look at that spiv with four exhaust pipes - what a waste of exhaust!"
TomP, Nov 05 2012


       "Describe in single words only the good things that come into your mind about … your mother."   

8th of 7, Nov 05 2012

       // //you're less likely to get assaulted in the showers...more than once.// // ...by the same person
phundug, Nov 05 2012

       can you *play* it?
po, Nov 05 2012

       //can you *play* it?//   

       Hmmm. Has anyone posted Rectal Harmonica yet?
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 05 2012

       Oh, po! You are the best!
calum, Nov 05 2012

       If the jewelry ends were magnetic, a plethora of functions could be implemented. This really could be moved to a more sanitary body area. If between fingers, potatoes could be peeled.
wjt, Sep 05 2019

       This rather explains some hairstyles I've seen lately amongst the political class.
RayfordSteele, Sep 05 2019

       He stands alone on the bluff, silhouetted, his back to the sunset and the prairieland below. The buffalo low. He is still. His shoulders rise as he takes a deep breath, moves his fists from his hips, bends at the waist and grabs his ankles. A crow caws. Another pause comes before he slides his feet across the dust, further apart. He feels the breeze shake the hairs on his thighs. He reaches up with his right hand, up between his legs, the fringe on his sleeve brushing against his chaps. Another slight shuffle of the feet. His finger plucks the first clear note. The animals fall silent.
calum, Sep 06 2019

       We might as well go all in and have multiple strings down there. It would be a wonderful sight indeed to see famous musicians dropping trousers or hitching up evening dresses to reveal their playing areas.
DenholmRicshaw, Sep 06 2019

       Multiple strings would require some very delicate fingering. Perhaps the cowboys could group together and form a distributed 12 hole / string guitar?
calum, Sep 06 2019

       Didn't Rectal Septum sing 'A Whiter Shade of Pale' back in the day?
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 06 2019

       You're thinking of Proctal Hareem - that's a whole other idea.
zen_tom, Sep 06 2019

       Quite probably. I think I saw them when they were starting out and appeared on New Fæces.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 06 2019


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