h a l f b a k e r yTempus fudge-it.
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Most of us know how unromantic it is to stop making out to put on a condom. Besides after taking your date out for a two or three dinners you really dont know her well, but how do you say... " I want sex, but never want to have children with you, or trust you enough to know you dont have a nasty STD"..
to avoid this uncomfortable situation we should add a button to the remote control which covertly puts on a condom .. You could make up some excuse like "need a little more volume". While adjusting volume push the condom button and you're ready to drive the latex bus to tuna town!
[link]
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I think this would sound painful even if I hadn't recently watched "Battlebots." |
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Hmm, this is baked, check out my remote control :P |
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Why stop at the 'before?' Another button that will remove it for you afterwards; because, lets face it, which is the less desirable act... Of course, this could lead to a pretty damn painful situation if you accidentally pressed the 'second' button 'first.' Oh my... |
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I remember reading once about a set of valves that could be set by passing a magnet over the naughty bits, that would block the little wigglies but let everything else through. Haven't been able to find a link showing them, though. |
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excuse me mr peter sealy but where oh where is the diverted stream going to go or are you thinking of recycling it - how very green of you |
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You can train yourself to ejaculate into your bladder, apparently. Not sure exactly how that works though. |
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FINALLY! the lazy man condom has arrived! Is there a button that makes the condom do all the thrusting aswell so you can just lie back and feel the G's without any of the work? if not, WHY NOT!? |
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