Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Side Split Toilet Seat

For the grotesquely large... or deformed
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After many years of reflection, I have just recently become aware of the reasoning behind the frontal incontinuity of the public toilet seat.

Who wants to lay thier johnson on the same piece of plastic which hundreds of other men have forthwith laid thier johnson? (apart from [21Quest], of course)

But what of us begrudged few who's johnson is so large and cumbersome as to necessitate laying it over ones thigh, to dangle off the side of the toilet bowl?

Where, I ask, is our toilet bowl seat?

MikeD, Mar 04 2011

I always thought the open front toilet seat looked like the head and neck of a man http://en.wikipedia...Blacktoiletseat.jpg
His mouth wide open ready for your num nums. [rcarty, Mar 04 2011]

Can't reach? http://farm1.static...2909_3d93445878.jpg
tsh! [2 fries shy of a happy meal, Mar 04 2011]

I think you could use these johnson raising levers... http://www.abledata.../images/06A0320.jpg
[xandram, Mar 04 2011]

[link]






       Just be thankful for what you have.
rcarty, Mar 04 2011
  

       Isn't that what the hook on the door is for ?
FlyingToaster, Mar 04 2011
  

       //who's johnson is so large and cumbersome as to necessitate laying it over ones thigh// that's hard to swallow...
4whom, Mar 04 2011
  

       //us begrudged few who's johnson is so large// - presumably you mean "whose", rather than "who's", otherwise the grammar doesn't make any sense at all. But even then this phrase is odd; the combination of the plural "us" with the singular "johnson" and "is" makes it clear that you belong to a curious group of men with only one penis to share between you. Do you take it in turns, or can you reserve it if you think you might 'get lucky'?
hippo, Mar 04 2011
  

       I'm guessing that posture is a big factor here. Who want's to drape their penis on the cold porcelain where thousands have peed? Not I.
WcW, Mar 04 2011
  

       They didn't ask, he didn't tell.
rcarty, Mar 04 2011
  

       I thought this was going to be an incredibly humourous lavatory accessory... but it appears to have degenerated almost instantly into a 'johnson' measuring contest.
Twizz, Mar 08 2011
  

       Yes [Twizz], actually I was a little relieved to see it fade, so quickly from the recent page. Since it has resurfaced however, allow me to explain:   

       I had been drinking...   

       Now, as that is out of the way:   

       //your wife, as I recall//   

       Not only is she my wife, [21Q], but she is also your mother. And We both find it a little disconcerting that you still require her to hold on to your wee-wee when you go potty.   

       //Isn't that what the hook on the door is for ?//   

       Yes, but that still doesn't keep it from dangling on the floor. The hook in the adjacent stall would serve this purpose, but I tire of having to reel it in whenever someone needs to utilize that particular stall.
MikeD, Mar 08 2011
  

       Funny that! Anyways, I just let mine trawl around down in the water, who doesn't?
daseva, Mar 08 2011
  

       The basis of this is flawed. The open fronted toilet seat was designed to overcome the problem of drunks being knocked unconscious when the lid fell on the back of their heads.
The_Saint, Mar 08 2011
  

       That seems less likely than the explanation that it's to reduce mess from lazy (male) urinators that don't lift the seat.
rcarty, Mar 08 2011
  
      
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