Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Small Blessings

Ruins your life - but makes your day.
  (+8, -3)
(+8, -3)
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As a callow child, young Sally Blessings was bullied by her classmates, ignored by her teachers, and abused by her parents. "Be grateful for small blessings," the social worker told her. "They must care on some level; at least they got you a yo-yo for Christmas."

She decided to make the world eat its words.

The supervillain Small Blessings has no particular powers, but is possesed of a brilliant, devious mind and a small army of bitter, talented minions. Her signature is that for every terrible act she commits, she gives something back - something small and ironic.

If she burns your house down, she'll send you a gift certificate to a barbeque restaurant.

If she kidnaps you, the cell will be stocked with that great book you always wanted to read but never had time for.

If she sends her minions to set off a bomb in the middle of the annual flamenco dancing competition, they will pause to hand free margaritas to the dazed, injured contestants before they flee the scene in a van with its (stolen) liscence plate clearly visible.

And someday, when she becomes God-Empress of Earth, all will fall on their knees to worship - but young single men will be allowed, indeed, encouraged, to worship a photo of her in her menacing black pointy crown - and nothing else.

gisho, Dec 08 2006


       She's a supervillain. She started with all the people who bullied her as a kid and then moved on to - well, whoever annoyed her, or whoever stood in the way of her plots for world domination. Supervillains tend to be pretty indiscriminate. I don't know if she has a nemisis. Probably so, in which case all his friends and associates are on the target list.
gisho, Dec 09 2006

       I don't get the first example with the barbecue restaurant. Could you explain?
phundug, Dec 10 2006

       Hell yes.
notmarkflynn, Dec 10 2006

       [phundug] - you know, Flame Seared! Roasted! Burnt to a crisp! Just like you would have been, if you hadn't made a narrow escape.
gisho, Dec 10 2006


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