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Spring-loaded Goalkeeping Shorts

New goalkeeping aid for the up and coming World Cup
  (+6, -2)
(+6, -2)
  [vote for,

Goalies wear padded shorts, because repeatedly throwing themselves onto hard ground is sore. Goalies also have to recover from diving saves very quickly, in case the ball isn't properly cleared and they are required to save again. Combine these two needs, and equip the modern goalkeeper with enormous shorts, padded all over by a dense layer of springs. In this way he can be protected from injury, and has no choice but to recover quickly from a dive.

Extra benefit: a goalie now has a means to entertain himself in a very one sided match - by bouncing around on his arse space-hopper style.
mcscotland, Mar 24 2002

Sepp Maier http://www.worldcup.../LEGENDS/maier.html
German goalkeeper, famous for wearing enormous shorts. [DrBob, Mar 24 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]


       Adidas logo might change from boring old /// to exciting new /|/|/
thumbwax, Mar 24 2002

       so funny, mcs. Please tell me it ends here though - this is where American Football went wrong. <lights touch paper and stands back>
po, Mar 24 2002

       Not much point for a goalkeeper in American football as the goal is so far off the ground. Put springs in the shoes and you might have something...
phoenix, Mar 24 2002

       Could use that in gaelic football though - they do have goalkeepers, and their goals are the same size as Yank "Football" goals.
mcscotland, Mar 24 2002

       This would make soccer matches worth watching... croissant :^)
Jeremi, Mar 24 2002

       Spring-loaded shorts, eh? Has one of your springs shifted, sir, or are you just happy to see me? Oooh, my (sick and twisted) mind is filled with images on this one....   

       Why don't we change the entire nature of goalkeeping. I suggest we equip keepers with a belt/harness arrangement to which we attach long bungee cords. Fasten the ends of the cords to the four corners of the net, and voila, we have Bungee Goalie who never falls down. Or at least never stays down when he does fall. We could apply this sidesplitting new technology (?) to virtually any sport that uses a goalie. Can't you just picture an ice hockey goalie suspended mid-net, his skates frantically churning mere centimeters above the ice as he tries to block the game-winning goal? Being a goalie myself, I find this more than mildly amusing.
Canuck, Mar 26 2002

       I like the way you think
thumbwax, Mar 26 2002

       I play in goal and although i can see a few problems with the ball bouncing randomly off the shorts and when your legs collided springing back and injuring you it would be fun to bounce on your ass all game
dan23, Feb 25 2004

       I fishbone this in favor of giving goaltenders pogo sticks.
disbomber, Apr 06 2005


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