Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Toilet Flap

Expensive reassurance for paranoid poopers
  [vote for,

A one-way flap after the U-bend that floats open when water hits it.

A close delaying mechanism is used so that the flat does not drop shut after the initial burst of water and trap any wee jobbies.

Why? you might ask. Well, children and some adults fear rats, snakes and ghoulies coming round the U-bend and chomping on their tender morsels.

marklar, May 31 2011

Some things that are octopus-proof http://marine.alask...topus/fish-data.php
[mouseposture, Jun 02 2011]


       It's not a strength issue, they would need opposable thumbs or possibly suckers to pull open the flap. Damn, it's not octopus proof, but then, what is?
marklar, Jun 01 2011

       "Don't be scared of the grown-ups' toilet. The only things that could possibly crawl out and drag you into the sewers are octopuses, giant leeches, and that "stretch" guy out of the X-Files we show you before bedtime".
spidermother, Jun 01 2011

       [marked-for-tagline]* it's not octopus proof, but then, what is?   

       *Is it ok to nominate your own comment?
marklar, Jun 01 2011

       I think this would block the toilet.
nineteenthly, Jun 01 2011

       You could go for the more expensive option of having something like a waste disposal unit in the pipe, which would also allow you to have a smaller outgoing pipe.
marklar, Jun 01 2011

       That's Baked, [marklar].   

       // that "stretch" guy out of the X-Files //   

       "Eugene Victor Tooms ...   

       And there's the 'Flukeman', of course.
8th of 7, Jun 01 2011

       //Tooms// That's the one. If I recall, he was foiled by a simple child safety latch on the toilet lid. Which was odd, since he could undo screws from the wrong end.   

       There's also Mr Tickle.
spidermother, Jun 01 2011

       And the Dragon of Unhappiness ...
8th of 7, Jun 01 2011

       //it's not octopus proof, but then, what is?// <link>
mouseposture, Jun 02 2011

       [mouseposture] If octopus remains were found inside them they are clearly not octopus proof.
marklar, Jun 02 2011

       Oops, sorry, my mistake. Octopus proof is the special 103% absolute pharmaceutical grade ethanol available to licensed octopus wranglers.   

       (And anyway, topologically, the lumen of the gut is outside, not inside. So there.)
mouseposture, Jun 03 2011

       // the lumen of the gut is outside //   

       I've drunk some stuff that made me feel my guts were headed for the outside, but isn't' "lumen" a unit of light? Is this "octopus proof" stuff making your innards glow after you heave them up?   

       Where can I get some?
baconbrain, Jun 03 2011

       Ask [bungston], he's the one who's into all that weird shit.
8th of 7, Jun 03 2011

       'Lumen' means both 'opening' and 'light'. The inside of any tubular structure is called the lumen in biology.
spidermother, Jun 03 2011

       //isn't' "lumen" a unit of light? // It has two meanings: 1)the SI unit of luminous flux, and 2) the central cavity of a tubular or other hollow structure in an organ   

       Convenient for people of whom it's said "They think the sun shines out of their arse."   

       (Edit: oops, [spidermother] got there first.)
mouseposture, Jun 03 2011


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