Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Trump Progress Bar

2 percent a month
  (+9, -2)
(+9, -2)
  [vote for,

Project on a suitable erection, say a large hotel, a progress bar showing how Mr Trump is getting along.

4 years seems a long time, but at about half a percent a week, before we know it, the president will have made all his progress.

DenholmRicshaw, Mar 28 2017

POTUS Progress Pie https://information...pps.io/progresspie/
Not on a building though - now with day count [DenholmRicshaw, Apr 03 2017, last modified Nov 07 2020]

Twitter users scalded Trump http://www.independ...lling-a7671601.html
[not_morrison_rm, Apr 07 2017]


       Progress towards what, exactly? I'm not sure you can call the mess he's making "progress", at all...
neutrinos_shadow, Mar 28 2017

       Well, it's not as though anybody is russian him - Got to hand it to you, this idea will be huge ...
normzone, Mar 28 2017

       My guess was that he wouldn't last 120 days - So, for just over another 20 days? It'll work like Windows' file copy PB
Dub, Mar 29 2017

       //Trump Progress Bar// Mine's a large one.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 29 2017

       Damn, and I was going to build a wall between me and the bar, and make Don Pilar and Don Julio pay for it.
normzone, Mar 29 2017

       A time lapse video of maggots eating a dead animal would be my way of calibrating the 'progress' of The Retard.
xenzag, Mar 29 2017

       Hi there Den and Dub. lovely to see you again. And aren't you all just sssoooo nice when it comes to POTUS. (Fucking twit butt head). Take away my PBS, take away my EPA, take away my Planned Parenthood Centers, and my National Endowments for the Arts, and then take away even my right to an Administration that is not corrupt as hell, a pack of lying scum bags, and sleeping with the enemy bums, no less.   

       Then build your wall. Just build me on the other side or give me a sword to fall on. Life within your walls would not be worth living, you bigoted idiot face.   

       There, how's that for a progress bar??? Oh Den, love you, but your idea is for the birds.
blissmiss, Mar 29 2017

       A suitable erection? Is that anything like a micropenis wearing a miniature sports coat?   

       The really sad thing is that they're really not that good at being corrupt. It's like the role of Dr. Evil as played by Mr. Magoo.
RayfordSteele, Mar 29 2017

       I'm surprised no one has connected the word "bar" to the availability of alcoholic beverages.
Vernon, Mar 30 2017

       Hello [blissmiss] :)   

       I'm expecting that as the progress bar approaches 100% in 4 years, a pop-up would appear saying something like ...   

       "Insert second floppy to continue"
DenholmRicshaw, Mar 30 2017

       Or something like "Press any key to format drive C"
normzone, Mar 30 2017

       Reality error, press ctrl+alt+del...and none of this will have happened.
not_morrison_rm, Mar 30 2017

       What's needed is a 'regress' bar, ticking off our descent from first to third world status as all our great 'wins' are turned into losses: woops there go the national parks, woops there go individual rights, etc.
Steamboat, Apr 02 2017

       [blissmiss], never been away... just watching. Constantly watching :)
Dub, Apr 02 2017

       // from first to third world status //   

       <unnecessary and gratuitously offensive pedantry>   

       Actually, the USA is part of the "New World" of the Renaissance, the "Old World" being the existing "civilizations"* of Europe and the Near East.   

       So, America was only ever at best a "Second World" country** so the lapse into "Third World" status is actually not that big a step.   

       </unnecessary and gratuitously offensive pedantry>   

       *The Aztecs and the Inca don't count as civilizations, because despite having advanced agriculture, metalworking, roads, hydrology and art, the numerous religious murders they perpetrated were done in the wrong way, and in worship of entirely the wrong deities.   

       **While it was administered by the British Crown, that is. After that, it's all been pretty much downhill. Canada, for all its many faults, has had the sense to retain H. M. the Q. as their head of state, and don't tell us that lots of US citizens*** are even now looking Northward with envious eyes, and slowly, and surely, drawing their plans.   

       *** Their intellects may well be "cool and unsympathetic", but we would certainly question if they count as "vast" ...
8th of 7, Apr 02 2017

       Is there no way his schedule could include Ford's Theatre and Texas School Book Depository on the same day, and would he take the hint?
not_morrison_rm, Apr 03 2017

       I made an example -- see linky   

       POTUS Progress Pie - alliteratively more satisfying
DenholmRicshaw, Apr 03 2017

       Why a pie graph? Surely something more traditionally Russian would be more fitting? Perhaps chak-chak... that looks tasty.
RayfordSteele, Apr 03 2017

       "Is the vodka bottle half full, or half empty ?"
8th of 7, Apr 03 2017

       //Why a pie graph?//   

       Yeah, why not a Ritz cracker?   

       If you're blue, and you don't know where to go to, why don't you go where fascism sits,
Putin on the Ritz.

       // Putin on the Ritz. //   

       Sounds like the cue for a song ....   


       <Starts googling>
8th of 7, Apr 03 2017

       //"Is the vodka bottle half full, or half empty ?"//
In Russia, vodka bottle is completely empty...
neutrinos_shadow, Apr 03 2017

       [vernon] I'll drink to that!
xandram, Apr 06 2017

       //less prominent Twitter users scalded Mr rich asshole   

       Independent newspaper April 7th...link   

       Please no "he's in hot water now" jokes.   

       Edit: Just got an auto reply from the Indie about the typo, and I quote "I out of the office until Tuesday 18 April." My god, it's recursive typos all the way down...
not_morrison_rm, Apr 07 2017

       My wife, who is as thoroughly non-political as you can be, said this morning " NOW he's finally doing something presidential - blowing shit up " ...   

       I'll meet you in the progress bar after work, drinks are on me.
normzone, Apr 07 2017

       // blowing shit up //   

       YAY ! GO DON ! GO DON !!
8th of 7, Apr 07 2017

       shameless plug for added day count to the potus progress pie
DenholmRicshaw, Apr 24 2017

       Apparently now there is person referred to as The Trump Whisperer, who can calm down The Retard when he gets beyond even his own extremes of idiocy and becomes "emotional" At this point it's perhaps useful to imagine a turnip having emotions.
xenzag, Apr 24 2017

       No imagination needed; his name is Bill Clinton ...
8th of 7, Apr 25 2017

       Enjoy your extra half bun, good sir!
21 Quest, May 18 2017

       <Waves at 21Q>
8th of 7, May 18 2017

       Come back. [21]
xenzag, May 19 2017

       Yes, forget to be a father, husband, and the like. Play with us instead. For real.
blissmiss, May 19 2017

       oooops - suddenly remembers his children playing in locked cellar with young fast growing crocodiles 9 years ago when he first discovered the halfbakery.
xenzag, May 20 2017

       Nah...he has more sense than that...right?
blissmiss, May 20 2017

       As I was fixing the link to my shameless app (which works by the way), a pop up appeared.   

       "Insert second floppy to continue"   

       It's OK everyone, I pressed cancel.
DenholmRicshaw, Nov 07 2020

       A day to go - let's see if he makes it to 100%
DenholmRicshaw, Jan 19 2021

       One of the speeded up sequences in the Peter Greenaway film A Zed and Two Noughts (ZOO) would have made a great visual indicators as the horde of maggots finish off the corpse of a dead animal. (will post one if they can be found)
xenzag, Jan 19 2021

       Everyone I know is tiptoeing around, holding our breath and non-stop praying. Please God, get him the hell outta DC and dump his fat ass in Florida...Florida on Mars that is... hahaha
blissmiss, Jan 19 2021

       [xen] excellent film!
hippo, Jan 19 2021

       Phew -
DenholmRicshaw, Jan 20 2021

       Should you start another chart now to keep track of how many days are remaining before he can get back into office again?
DrBob, Jan 20 2021

       He won't want it. He's going to buy some useless media corp where he doesn't have any actual accountability but can lob propaganda all he wants.
RayfordSteele, Jan 20 2021


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