Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Like you could do any better.

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Hi. I'm polartomato. Welcome to my profile-page-o-matic. It looks like a profile page but it also opens cans, cuts meat, slices and dices tomatoes, and perforates cardboard boxes.

My email address is t|o|m|a|t|o|b|a|k|e|r| a|t| y|a|h|o|o| d|o|t| c|o|m| without all the |'s. HBGC: e p s+ g- B- A++

Not only do I taste good in salads, but I am big and round and red. I am a 22-year old female midwestern American.

My Theme Song is Attack of the Polar Tomatoes.

"Attack of the polar tomatoes! Attack of the polar tomatoes!

They'll beat you, bash you, squish you, mash you
Chew you up for brunch
And finish you off for dinner or lunch!

They're marching down the halls
They're crawling up the walls
They're frozen, brazen, jonesin', goin'
Frozen at each pole
They're standing outside your hole!

Remember Herman Farbage
With ideas well beyond his age
He turned around and he did see
Tomatoes hiding in his tree
Now he's fishboned into memory!

I know I'm going to miss her
A tomato 'boned my sister (not that way)
Sacramento fell today
They're replacing it with San Jose
The idea was baked already!

[Jun 14 2002, last modified Nov 24 2005]

(+7, -1) 1-2 Armrest Adapter
(+8, -3) 2002: A Supermarket Odyssey
(+4, -8) Ants in Your Pants
(+5) Chairs with soft legs
(+1, -2) Commercial Acknowledgment Centers
 Crotch Cup Holder
(+6, -1) Designer Toilet
(+5, -3) Domain Name Pictionary
(+2, -3) Easy Creasy Pants
(-2) Elizabeth's Crumb Catcher
(+12, -2)(+12, -2) Emergency kite pistol
(+5, -1) Feline furniture defense system
(+1, -3) Fifth Wheel Refrigerator
(+3, -7) Flass
 Gas Masquerade
(+6, -1) Habitat for Inhumanity II
(+4) Headphone cord protector
(+1) Insta-brick
(+4, -5) Insulated cupholding car hat
(+9)(+9) Jumbo Golf Land
(+7, -1) Little Green Men
(+1) Low-flow shower cushion
(+1, -2) Mortals' combat
(+1, -2) Newspaper Stand
 Night of the Inanimate Dentist
 On Hold Take-a-Number
(-2) Pierced sandwiches
(+1, -7)(+1, -7) Rambo House
(+2, -3) RateMyFinances.com
(+5, -1) Roll up your sleeves
(+6) Run-Amok Movie Parks
(-1) (S)veldt Figures' Outfitters
(+1, -2) Satiated Vending Machines
(+4) Segway Expansion Pack
(+8, -3) Sextables
(+3) Snap-on Urinal
(+7, -1) Spring-loaded home wiring system
(+6, -1) TV in Relief
(+4) uglystuffexchange.com
(+5) Underphonewear
(+6, -2) Wearable TV antenna
(+6) Whacky Cubicle Phone
(+6, -3) www.work101.com

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