Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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spray toast

Toast in a can!
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Toast is usually made in a toaster.

Said device produces toast by heating the exterior surfaces of bread until chemical reactions take place in the surface layer.

These reactions are known as Mallard reactions and are named named after the famous coal burning railway engine, since the reactions are related to burning and combustion and happen at high speeds, and cause delight.

However this is n inefficient and old-fashioned method of producing toast.

Spray toast means you do not need a toaster.

Take one slice of bread, and simply spray evenly on both sides with the can of spray toast. The can produces a fine spray of chemical mists and solvents which consist of the products of mallard reactions scraped from the inside of coal furnaces. The solvents help the ingredients to mist and also give a slightly fragrance to the finished toast.

After waiting for a minute or two for the solvents to evaporate the toast can now be fed to ducks or children as usual.

Next up: spray bread. Spray bread is a foaming emulshion of flour paste and other unlikely additives. When sprayed on a playte it foams up and auto-levels. After a few minutes the solvents evaporate leaving a reasonably convincing bread substitute. This can be finished by spraying with spray toast for a truly amazing breakfast. If you also have spray butter and spray marmalade you can produce an entire balanced diet using a four-canister rotating spray-can magazine.

pocmloc, Oct 26 2021

Delicious with… _22Spravy_22_20-_20The_20Aerosol_20Gravy
[hippo, Oct 26 2021]

don’t forget the spray cheese, too https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Easy_Cheese
[xandram, Oct 26 2021]

Where can we get a pair of undershorts like his?! https://www.youtube...watch?v=J_dyOxAfEzI
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Oct 27 2021]

Cheese sputtering gun Cheese_20sputtering_20gun
[hippo, Oct 28 2021]

Spray-on clothes Spray-on_20clothes
[hippo, Oct 28 2021]


       This sounds ewwww, but if it really could work, I would consider a bun…waiting for people smarter than me to discuss.
xandram, Oct 26 2021

       Maillard. But you knew that.
Frankx, Oct 26 2021

       You would need to include a dessicant, and a way that the dessicant would not dessicate the other components while still in the spray can, and a way to get rid of the dessicant before eating.   

       Because crunch.
pertinax, Oct 26 2021

       What about the spray creating an exothermic reaction, so it ACTUALLY toasts the bread? Maybe along the lines of A-B foam (but not toxic); spray on, it expands to cover the slice while getting hot, wait, then peel off.
neutrinos_shadow, Oct 26 2021

       A pressurized canful of a chemical capable of an exothermic reaction like that is not likely to be a favorite of the FDA, or the fire marshall, or the ATF...
RayfordSteele, Oct 27 2021

       Anyone else having a Powdered Toast Man flashback?   

       Well I like toast too much to spray chemicals on it so I guess I will stay neutral on this idea. May be good for people to take camping but then again toast and an open fire pit is really good also.
xandram, Oct 27 2021

       Why use coal furnaces? Employ a factory of small children scraping Maillard shavings off of their toasties.
4and20, Oct 28 2021

       I would like spray on Marmite.
xenzag, Oct 28 2021

       Application of a thin Marmite coating to a substrate might be better suited to a vapour deposition method as is used in the semiconductor industry, rather than a crude aerosol or sputtering method. Another approach would be to use electrostatic effects to improve the coating efficiency, as they do when spray-painting cars (i.e. the paint, or marmite, passes through a nozzle which positively charges it, and the car, or toast, is negatively charged and so attracts the paint/marmite into every crevice).
hippo, Oct 28 2021

       Isn't that stuff banned by the EPA?
RayfordSteele, Oct 28 2021

       [a1] Clever, but my suggestion gives you an excuse to have a Vacuum Vapour Deposition chamber in your kitchen. Just think of all the uses you'll find for it!
hippo, Oct 28 2021

       //A pressurized canful of a chemical capable of an exothermic reaction//Can of hairspray and a lighter? I think that would produce the effect.
bs0u0155, Oct 28 2021


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