FarmerJohn

You can displease some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can't displease all of the people all of the time. - Babe Lincoln

If an infinite number of parrots, having been taught the 40 phonemes of the English language, were perched in front of an infinite number of tape recorders for an infinite number of years squawking at random, one would eventually recite the entire works of Shakespeare.

He who gets behind the wheel of a car, risks getting backed over by it.

People who live in grass houses should not mow homes.

God is a dyslexic man's best friend.

Marriage is like a bath; after a while it's not so hot.

A chain letter is only as strong as its weakest reader.

A chain smoker is only as strong as the remaining lung.

A soufflé is not always what the eggs are cracked up to be.

Reality is a fig leaf of my imagination.

It's not easy being a man, keeping up with the Indiana Joneses.

Love may be blind, but there's certainly nothing wrong with the other senses.

Men and women have one thing in common. They are both a different sex.

It's an ill windbreaker that winds up breaking wind, up wind.

If "emas eht" reads the same backwards, is it a palindrome?

Waiting for something good is always a when-when situation.

The early Romans must have had trouble knowing which size XL was.

Naked eye scrutiny of pornography is more arduous with age.

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f a r m e r j o h n at t e l i a dot c o m

Simple site with halfbakery illustrations and other artwork:

http://www.geocities.com/farmerjohnnie/index.html

[Feb 28 2002, last modified Aug 29 2005]

4DW – 4 Driver Wheel Vehicle (+6, -2)
6 Wheel Drive Tellus Rover (+4, -1)
7 Toothpicks (+14, -1)
A Better Stick (+8, -1)
A Bit of Laughter (+2, -1)
A Blackening Book (+17, -1)
A car fireplace (+23, -6)
A Dozen Cups of Eggs (+2, -1)
A Handsthree (+3, -1)
A Maze, Me (+6)
A Mazing Queue’s Amusing (+2, -1)
A Watch to Watch (+2, -1)
Abacus Gloves (+8, -2)
ACME Action (+2, -1)
Adored Home (+2, -1)
AeroDash (+2, -1)
Age of Aquarium Surface Shadowers (+8, -2)
Alien ID Card (+5, -5)
Alien Planetarium (+11, -1)
All Terrain and Heaven Vehicle (+10)
All Your Egg Noodles in One Basket (+3, -1)
Amphibious Logomotive (+4, -3)
Anamorphosis Watch (+11, -1)
Animal Accessory Fashion (+3, -3)
Animal Husbandry (+3, -16)
Animal Liberation (+4, -2)
Ankle Donuts, the Rainwear of Tomorrow (+7, -1)
Anniversary Watch (+3)
Anti Animal Animosity (+4, -3)
Anti-Graffiti painter (+8, -1)
Anti-wrinkle Auto Alloy (+7, -2)
Aqua Light (+2, -1)
Aqua qlocq (+2, -1)
Archimedes Screw Escalator (+2, -1)
Armbrace (+3, -1)
Around-the-Clock Hourglass Clock (+31, -2)
Astronomically Accurate Speed Limits (+1, -1)
Attack Bubbles (+6, -4)
Attractive Painting (+5, -2)
AuraVoir (+2, -1)
Aurora Orb (+4, -1)
Aussie Army Knife (+16, -5)
Auto Appendages (+1, -1)
Auto-Mobile Homes (+2, -3)
Automanual Transmission (+2, -7)
Automobrella (+1, -1)
B A C Turtle (+3, -2)
Baby Buggy Bike (+2, -1)
Back-Kneading, Baby Doll-Legged, Musical Backpack (+2, -2)
Background Update (+1, -2)
Backpack Basketball (+6, -2)
Backpacks for Ants (+4, -6)
Bad Habit Hinderer (+3, -17)
Bag Flags (+1, -1)
Balancing Time (+2, -2)
Ballooned Cartoon (+2, -2)
Banana Bottle (+1, -1)
Bar-assisted Trailer-backing (+5, -4)
Bar Code Tender (+3, -1)
Barbed Band (+3, -1)
Barbershop with cutting edge technology (+6, -3)
Barbie <= => Ken (+7, -2)
Barrel Tennis (+16, -1)
Bath Buggy (+15, -1)
Bathe Peristaltically in a Cup of Water (+30, -2)
Bathroom Bullet Body Mass Index Apparatus (+13, -2)
Bathroom Scales-Clock Combo (+1, -2)
Beam Me Up (+3, -1)
Beanbag Beanie (+6, -1)
Beating the snow with shovel to plowshare (+8, -1)
Beautiful Borders (+3, -1)
Bed Roll (+4, -3)
Being Blown by the Wind (+1, -1)
Belly Bag – Codpiece (+3, -3)
Belly Button Amorometer (+2, -1)
Better Birder Buddy Binoculars (+4, -1)
Better Busts (+1, -2)
Bi-Z-Boy (+2, -1)
Bicycle Running Board (+2, -1)
Bicyclockle (+4, -1)
Bidirectional Corrugation (+7, -4)
Bike in a Bottle (+5, -3)
Billiard Time (+2, -2)
Bird-Booster Prairie Pleasures (+5, -2)
Blasted Sand Busts (+6, -1)
Blind, Venetian with Balls (+4, -1)
Blister Pack Rip Cord (+1, -1)
Blitz Barbeque (+5, -5)
Block Clock (+2, -1)
Blown-up Bag-in-the-Box Bottom Bag (+1, -1)
Body Scaffolding (+9, -1)
Body Scrubber (+3, -4)
Boiling Eggcup (+7, -1)
Bon Bon Board (+2, -1)
Bonsai Boys Toys (+12, -2)
Booger-Imprinted Tissues (+3, -3)
Boot-Mounted Bowling Ball Blunderbuss (+2, -1)
Bot-Bod Battle (+1, -2)
Botanical Body Building (+1, -1)
Bottle Rocket Corkscrew (+8, -1)
Bottoculars (+1, -1)
Bowl Whirler (+1, -1)
Box It (+2)
Boxed Bubbly (+2, -1)
Breaking Breaking Wind Cyphers (-4)
Breathing Bra (+1, -2)
Breezy Boxers (+3, -1)
Brow Bills (+1, -1)
Bruise Stickers (+2, -1)
Bubble Ball Anemometer (+18, -1)
Bubble Clock (+2, -1)
Bubblegum Wrap (+2)
Buddy Bounding (+7)
Bulletproof Wig (+5, -2)
Bungee Bike (+11, -1)
Buoy-B-Q (+4, -2)
Burgerfocal Glasses (+6, -1)
Burned Bra (+3, -1)
Butt Nipples (+11, -8)
Candle Extinguisher (+7, -2)
Canned Art (+4)
Capillary Strip Straw (+4, -2)
Car Compatibility Quiz (+3, -5)
Car Garage (+1)
Car Window Simulator (+2)
Carol of the Croissant (+4, -2)
Cartoon Computer (+3)
Chapter 11 for Novels (+5, -6)
Cheeses Making Wine Bottles (+5)
Chess-Crèche Combo (+1)
Chew and Blow Sex Doll (+6, -7)
Chewing Floss (+6, -3)
Chia Helmet (+5)
Chime Swing (+2)
Choo Choo Cup (+1)
Chop Bot (+1, -1)
Chopper Stroller (0)
Christmas Chlock (0)
Christmas Contraception Contraption (+6, -5)
Christmas Eve’s Halfbaked Apple Croissant (+1)
Circular Stair Climber (+1)
Citrus Sucker (+7, -1)
Clever Clock Clearance (0)
Climbing Stairs (+1, -1)
Clock of Blocks (+1)
Closet Valet (+4, -1)
Clothes Test Dummy (+2, -3)
Clothes Web (+4)
Cloud Bouncing Simplified (+17)
Coin Cans (+6)
Collaborative Poetry (+3, -4)
Compass Clock (+7, -1)
Compliant Ruler (+4)
Concave Co. (+20, -1)
Conical Coiled Candle Clock (+10, -2)
Contra Constipation Cummerbund (+3, -2)
Cookbook (+6, -7)
Coriolis Correction Club (+3)
Corrida Clown (+2)
Cotton Candy Toilet Bowl (+1, -1)
Cough Cup Cuff (+8, -3)
Coupled Cups Cup (+7, -3)
CPR Sex Doll (+9, -9)
Cradle of Time (+1)
Cranial Clock (+1)
Cranking Out the Time (+2)
Creature Comfort Slippers (+3)
Crime Comix (+4)
Crouching Tigress, Recumbent Gynecologist (+35, -7)
Cruise Control Driving Gloves (+7, -1)
Cubic Coin (-2)
Cubicle Battleships (+16)
Culinary Taxidermy (+8, -1)
Cutting Edge Rolling Pin (+1)
Déjà Smelled (+7, -1)
“Dad, what’s a hubcap?” (+8, -1)
Dance Meister Doormat (+1)
Darth Vader Diving Mask (+20)
Das Boots (+2)
Dating Polyhedra (0)
Dead Grandfather Clock (+2)
Dentist office sign language chart (+16, -1)
Dentoscope (0)
Dessert Mold Kit (+3, -1)
Dewey, My Kitchen Drill (+6, -2)
Diaper Dipstick (+2, -1)
Die-Dye (+1)
Digipants (0)
Digits on Digits (0)
Dine-Dance (+3)
Disco Charades (+4, -1)
Disconnect the Dots (-1)
Display Screen Door (+7)
DIY Bungee Epilator (+6, -4)
dn ap!s s!y+ (+12)
DNA Collection from Blood Suckers (+2, -2)
Do It Your Elf (0)
Do-it-yourself Duds (+1, -5)
Do It Yourself Lip Lift (+4, -1)
Dog Pants (+4)
Dolittle Doors (+1)
Double Headed Ponytail (+12, -3)
Double-Hung Hammock (0)
Double Rubber Gloved Muff Mug (+8)
Dressing Puzzled People (+2)
Drop Inn (+1, -1)
Drunken Sailor Pants (0)
Dry Ice Igloo Blocks (+3)
Ducking Soap (+9)
Ducted Duvet (+1)
Dung Beetles on the Ball (+3, -2)
E-Paper Money (+2)
E-sops Fables (0)
Ear Beret (+2)
Ear-Conditioning (0)
Ear Lobe Botany (+1)
Earwings (+1)
Eary Dialogue (+3)
Easy as Pie Server (0)
Edible Canvas (+1)
Effigy Energy (+5)
Egg-Coloring Eggcup (0)
Egg Yoke (0)
Eggsploder (0)
Electromechanical Shave Slave (+4, -1)
Elevatetris (+3, -4)
Elevator Doors – Opening a 21st Century Industrial Revolution (+2, -1)
Embroidered Macho Glove (+12, -4)
Empathetic Epaulets (0)
Endless Puzzle (+12)
Escalifter (+8, -1)
Exercise Unicycle (+1)
Exfoliation Drain (+12)
Exploding Inverting Cube Clock (+2)
Extreme Refrigerator Magnets (+2, -1)
EZ Curling at Home (0)
EZ Tree (+3, -1)
Fabric Fold-out Ladder (+4)
Faces Behind the Food (+2, -2)
Faerie Brassiere (+12)
Fall Up (+17, -1)
Famous First Words (+9, -1)
Fancy Frames (0)
Fast Frozen Music (+8)
Feed Your Face, Face Masque (+4, -1)
Ferris Wheel on a Roll (+12)
Fiddlefone (0)
Filled Franks (+5, -3)
Fine Tines (+6)
Fingernail Culture (+5, -2)
Fingerprint Photofinish ID Photos (+1)
Fishbowl Diving (+7, -2)
Fit/Fat Finder-Outer (+6, -4)
Flag-Festooned Drinking Straw (0)
Flashwear (+1)
Flat Fan (+3)
Flatten Your Head (+2)
Flattening the Earth (+2)
Flippin’, Flappin’, Tidy, Floor Tiles (+1)
Floating Books (0)
Floral Fast Food (+11, -3)
Fluff-Stuffed Egg (+1)
Flute Straw (+5, -2)
Foam Dome (+2, -2)
Foiling Fate (+2, -1)
Fold-Out Furniture (+4)
Follow Now Me (+16, -1)
Foodstuff-Stuffed Food (+7, -1)
Foot-Filliping Flagellation Facilitator (+2, -1)
Forehortened Ilhouette Ole (+5, -6)
Four-Legged Skirt (+7, -1)
Fractal Clock (+2)
Fractal Cup (+11)
Fridge Electromagnets (+7, -1)
Front Hear Mirrors (0)
Frontview Mirror (+6)
Frozen Hydrogen Bubble Mushroom (+12, -1)
Galloping Bunk Beds (+2)
Garage door mounted TV for the horizontal bifocal-wearing nearsighted (+11)
Garden Swing Wheeler (+5)
Gear for Getting a Grip on Yourself (+3)
Geek Watch (+1)
Giant Paper Airplane (0)
Glasses-Cleaning Cap (+3, -4)
Global Positioning Schnozzle (+1)
Goes not without Sayings (+2, -3)
Good Clean Fun (+4, -1)
Gravity-powered Pedestal Stool (+4)
Green Land (+1)
Guinnessland (+6)
Gyro Stilettos (+2)
Gyro-Stroboscope Bubble Watch (+2)
Gyroscope Dumbbells (+1)
H2O’Clock (+3)
Hair Care Cam (+2, -1)
Hair Kites (+4)
Hair-Raising Visor (0)
Hair Whippersnapper (+2)
Half a Pair of Scissors on a Ruler (+1)
Half Baker – Half Toaster (+8)
Hand Gun (+1)
Handicraft Gloves (+3)
Hands-free Ballroom Dancing (+4, -1)
Handy Fork (0)
Happy Hen Crap Packer (+13, -15)
Hard Hitting Motivational Media (+7, -4)
Hat in the Hood (+2)
Heads up Gyro Wig (+1)
Hearing Aids for the Tone Deaf (+4)
Heavenly Helium Hands (+15)
Helix Croissant Loaf (+3, -1)
“Hello, this is Glub Blub.” (+1)
Helmeter (0)
Here's Looking at You (+3)
Hieroglyph Coloring Scroll (+5)
High Occupancy Vehicle Lane Dog Mask (0)
High Toes (+7)
Hit Melody (0)
Hitting the Head on the Nail (+10, -5)
HO, HO, HO (+13, -1)
Hocquet (0)
Home Body Part Extender (+1, -1)
Home Exchange with Homeless (+4, -5)
Home Slippery Home (+14)
Homicide Body Outline Break Dance and Sex Aid (0)
Hood-Ornamented ’Hood Park (+1)
Hopping Chopping Block (0)
Hot in only a Hat and Pair of Boots (+33, -2)
Hot wings foil airfoil (+1, -4)
Hourglass Salt Dispenser (+21, -1)
Hover Hat (+1)
How to Down a Pillow (0)
How to Draw: building blocks (+10, -1)
Hygienic Heinie Wipes (+6, -6)
HyperHoover (0)
I Left My Duracell in San Francisco (+1)
Ice Straw (+6, -1)
Icicle Skeleton (+1)
Idea Dough Garage Swap (+11, -2)
In-between Letters Letters (+18, -2)
Incandescent Light Balloon (+1)
Indifferent Game (+2)
Indoors Wind Chime Doorbell (+2)
Inflatable Umbrella (+3, -1)
Ingrown Grass (+5, -1)
Ink Blots on Poles (+5, -2)
Interspecies Sports Reporting (+5, -2)
Invading Space Marshmallows (+5)
Iridescent Hair (+10, -1)
Iron-Mouse (+6, -2)
Iron Tea Kettle (+1)
Ironing Waffles Nonstop (+2)
It rings, leave rungs! (+9, -3)
It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s a flag! (+3)
It’s a Small World (+41, -1)
Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Green, Red and Black Tattoo Dot (+3, -1)
Jack out of the Box (+1)
Jeopardy Dating (+5, -1)
Jig-Playing Jigsaw (+1)
Job Titles for Jobless (+25, -2)
Ju-Ice (0)
Juicy Jaws (0)
Juttiza, the Halfbaked Therapist (+14, -1)
K9 Kap (+12)
Kaleidoklock (+1)
Ketchup Centrifuge (+7)
Kids Having Fits (0)
Kite Wear (+1)
Knowing when it’s half full or empty (+76, -5)
Kung Fu Zoo and Yoga, too (+8, -3)
Larval Locomotion (+5)
Laser Umbrella (+9, -1)
Lava Glass (+7, -1)
Letter Line Editor (+10, -4)
Lever Lift (+2, -2)
Life-size Acupuncture Voodoo Doll (+9, -2)
Light-Footed (0)
Light Plotter (+2)
Lighter than Air Sausage with Strings Attached (+2)
Limbs under Limbs (0)
Limo Kit (0)
Lip-Syncing for Change (+1)
Litter Bug (+2, -2)
Little Whipsnapper (+2, -1)
Lobe Lobbers (0)
LocoMotion (+3)
Lonely Workplace Ads (+4, -5)
Looming Locks (+2)
Loose Teeth Make the Cut (+1)
Loser Lottery (+9, -3)
Love Loops (+5, -2)
Lumberjack Motorbike (+6, -3)
m-Escher-ing time (+11)
Magic Fingers Folding Rods (+1)
Magnetic, Digital Clock with Balls (+6)
Magnetic Knife Bouquet (+3, -1)
Magnetically Managed Speeders (+7, -4)
Mail-Mittened Microwave (+2)
Make-a-Face Mask (+1)
Make Fortune Giving Away Fortunes (+12, -2)
Make Waves Cap (+6, -1)
Make Your Own Booble Wrap (+3)
Masqueraid (+11, -1)
Mastectomy Breast Patch for Nudists (+5, -2)
Matchbox Lighter (+1)
Mattress Crawling (+1)
Maze Mice Make Macramé (+1)
Measuring Wire (0)
Melodic Kettle Whistler (+8)
Melodies of Movement (+5, -1)
Memorial Museum of Extinct Animal Names (+10, -1)
Mexican-Waving Newton’s Balls (+2)
Micro Acid Branding (+6)
Micro Fireplace (+14)
Military Disappearing Act (+3, -2)
Million Dollar Smile for $29.95 (+2)
Mite Makes Fright (+5, -2)
Mixing Ball (+16, -1)
Mobile Masseuse (0)
Modeling in Elevator Shoes (+1)
Modesty Nude Scene Drama Correspondence Course (+5)
Moiré Hair (0)
Moldy History (0)
Mom's (+4, -3)
Monobra (+7, -2)
Monster Mammal Motivator (-3)
Motor Coaster (+1)
Mountain Climbing, Upside Down, Underwater, on an Iceberg (+39)
Mouse Moving Pictures (+1)
Mouse Riding (+15)
Moussage (+1)
Movie Jigsaw (+3)
MovieMosaic (+2)
Mucus Modification (+4, -3)
Muff Mittens (+1)
nds!pa pomus (+2)
Near-Nano Energy Generation (+4)
Necktie Knot’s a Naughty Noggin (+11, -3)
Neon-Numbered Timepiece (0)
Nested Vignettes (+2, -4)
Newton’s Clock (+2)
Night Names (+13, -2)
Nimble Finger Man (0)
Nitinol Corkhook (+3)
No Net Loss (0)
Nostril Extender (+3)
Not another friggin’ clock? (+9)
Not your garden variety garden hose (+19)
O2 Bubble Beverage (+3, -3)
On the Rocks Band (0)
on4e (0)
One and Two Half Pants (+16, -1)
One Day Movie Makeover (+6, -2)
One Page Novel Idea (+16, -4)
Ooze Shoes (+1)
Orb-it (+8)
Orthopter (+2)
Our Glass (0)
Our Glass, Ferrofluid Timepiece (+1)
Outlaw Murphy's Laws (+2, -1)
Outside the Envelope is More than Inside (+1)
Pac-Mania (0)
Packing Peanut Chip Chime (+1)
Paddlewheel Soup Spoon (0)
Paint-by-the-Numbers Silhouette Target (+5)
Palindrome Clock (0)
Palindrome Song (+9)
Parabungee (0)
Passive-Personal Trainer (0)
Pasta Pruner (0)
Paste Pills (0)
PC Pillow Talk (0)
Pedadogue (+5, -1)
Pedal-Powered, Precession, One Man Merry-Go-Round (+3)
Pedestrian Pendulums (+9, -1)
Pedi-Rockers (0)
Peeping Tool (+8, -9)
Penal Loveseat (+11)
Penile Partner (+3)
Phone Calls for Dummies (+1)
Pill Necklace (+5)
Pillow Printer (+2)
Pin Cushion Ceiling-Floor (+33)
Pipe Dreams (+2)
Plumage-Packed PJs (0)
Pogo-Powered, Gyro-Stabilized, Single-Wheeled Machina Transporta (+1)
Pole Stroll (+3, -3)
Poly-Pool (0)
Polymorphic Comics (+7)
Pop-Peas (+8)
Porno Puppets (0)
Portable Door Lock (+2)
Portable Place Pointer (+24)
Portable Shower Acoustics (+3)
Post-it® Pen (+3)
Posterior Painting (+11)
Potted Plant Pot Pop-in (+4)
Power Swing (+1)
Pre-Pressed, Party Tabletop (+3)
Premeditated Misspelling (+1)
Pringles Pants (+5)
Profiles in 3D (+1)
Projectile Pie (+2)
Punk Fringe (+2)
Push/Pull Pictogram (+2)
Puzzling Time (+6)
Pyramid Perching (+3, -2)
Quad Cups (+2, -2)
Quad-Directional Rocking Sofa (-1)
Quality Quickie (+1, -7)
Queue Ball (+4, -1)
Rabbit Ear Deterrent (+2, -1)
Rabbit Racer (+3, -2)
Radarange Revisited (0)
Raft Labyrinth (+1)
Rain Door (+14)
Raised in a Squirrel Cage (+2, -1)
Rappin’ Call Attendant (+10, -4)
Rat-catching Cat-apult (+5, -1)
Reincarnation Registration (+4, -4)
Revolving Door Rotary (0)
Revolving Door Tori (+3)
Riding the Bubblemobile in High-Heeled Skates (+6, -1)
River Trees (+10)
Robo-Rolling Pin (+5, -2)
Rock 'n' Roll Chair (+7, -2)
Rocker Coaster (+2)
Rocket Locks (0)
Rocking Clock (+3)
Roller Blade Roller Coaster (0)
Roller Rope (+2)
Roller Surfer (+5)
Rolling Coasters (+1)
Roly Poly Cars (+9, -1)
Room Buggy (0)
Rotting in Hellszydckt (0)
Roughneck Cocktail Decorations (0)
Row, row, row with your boots (0)
Rubber Baby Bumper Cars (0)
Rube Cube (+4)
Run in Place Race (+17)
S.S. Sassafras (+8, -1)
Samurai Penknife (+5, -1)
Sani-fingers (+2)
Sausage Link Condom (+1, -1)
Sayings of Confusion (+26, -3)
Scarab Circus (+1, -1)
Schizo Swivel Mask (+3)
Scife (+4, -1)
Scoot Boots (+13, -1)
Scout Boots (0)
Scrape-A-Sketch (0)
Scrolling Trouser Legs (+7, -1)
Scrub-a-Dub Spud Gloves (+12)
Sculpt by the Numbers (+10)
See Sedans Dance (0)
See the Light (+2)
Seesaw Send Off (0)
SegSchute (0)
Segway Flagpole (+4, -1)
Seismic Sketch (0)
Self-Refilling Vase (0)
Shadow Soles (+8, -2)
Shari’a Voodoo Doll Kit (+3, -4)
Shearware (+2)
Shifting Silhouettes (+4)
Ship in (and out of) a Klein Bottle (+4)
+shirt (+20)
Shoe Tie Don’t Bother Me (0)
Shop Shooter (+3, -2)
Shorts-Skirt-Shoulder Bag (0)
Shoulder Shrugger Strap (0)
Show-up comedian (+2, -5)
Shrinking Jar (+8, -4)
Side Arm, Support Arm (0)
Sidewalk Schools (+5, -1)
Sign in Tongues (0)
Signal Shirts (+6)
Silicon Mail (+1)
Sim-Halfbakery (+4)
Single Stair Escalator (+4)
Sit on Me (+10, -3)
sit & shit pants lit (+4, -1)
Six-in-One Chair (0)
Skate Trike (+1)
Skip Thong (+5, -3)
Skull Spine Serpent (0)
Sleeve Puppets (+5, -1)
Sliding Staircase (0)
Slipshoes (+1)
Sloth Locks (+3, -2)
Slugged in the Face Spa (+1, -1)
Smart, Dumbbell Extender (+4)
Smelling Nose Dog (+5, -5)
Snow Cream (+4, -6)
Snow Globe-Tipped Vibrator (+16, -3)
Snow Plates (+1)
Soap Shoe Surfin’ (0)
Sock Clock Ceiling Fan (+11)
soda sCO2ur power (+3)
Soixante Neuf Snorkel (+3)
Solar Ball (+1)
Soondial (+4)
Soupspoon Theater (+1)
Space Skating Dave (0)
Speed Reading between the Lines (+7)
Spelling Simplified (-8)
Spilt Milk Cry Line (+8, -2)
Spinning Bowl Swimming Pool (+7)
Spiral Needle Sewing Machine (+4, -1)
Sportier Sports (+5)
Spray on Shades (+1)
Spring Bolt (+6, -1)
Spring Spoon (+10, -4)
Spring Wear (0)
Square Balls (+2)
Squirt Shoes (0)
Stained Glass Wingdows (+18, -2)
Standing Tall Tea Kettle (+12)
Standup Driving (+2)
Steamy Notes (+6)
Step by Step Escalation (+13)
Stepping Out (0)
Stick-on Stiletto Strip (0)
Straight Line of Sight (0)
Straight Swinging (+6, -1)
Strangler Figs and Other Crap Houseplants (+4, -1)
Streamlined Balls (+6, -3)
Street Sculpture (+2)
Striped Street Stripes (0)
Stuffed Road Kill Doll (+11, -6)
Stuffed Spaghetti (+11, -3)
Super Saturn Earrings (+11, -3)
Super Shirt (+4)
Sure Cure for Baldness (+10, -3)
SUV Motorcycle (+1)
Swing Low City Chariot (+3, -1)
Swinging Balls Pendulum Clock (+4)
Symmetric Teapot (+3)
Synchronized Holidays and Anniversaries (+1, -4)
Tabletop Pop Pot (0)
Tabloid-Inspired Fairytales (0)
Tackling Your Aquarium (+4, -1)
Tactile Puzzles (+7)
Take a Hike Microwave (0)
Targeted Toast (+1)
Taste Buddy (0)
Tear and Wear Condominimums (0)
Tectonic Plate Pulling Power (+6, -3)
Teenager Muting Ninja Gnomes (+13, -3)
Tele-Menu-Maze (0)
Telesack (+5)
Tem-Plates (0)
Template Timepiece (+1)
Terracotta Warrior Gnomes (+33, -1)
The Birth Eve Fridge Door Scrapbook (+5)
The Custard Colored Cat (+3)
The Door Path Beater (+5)
The Evening Calculator (+6, -1)
The Flimflamming Flyswatter (0)
The Fractal Cup Bra (+24, -9)
The Hand Tree (+5, -5)
The Laundry Launcher (+8)
The Mirror I Mist (+3)
The Mother of All Office Workers (+8, -4)
The No-Sweat Band (+1)
The On-Time Steamboat (0)
The Optimistic Hands-Free Sipper Cup (0)
The Photo Booth from Hell (+10)
The Porcelain Pony (+10, -3)
The Sacrificial Hat (+2, -1)
The Squat Fellow Spinning the Slinky Squirrel Cage (+2)
The Swedish Bun Bather (+5)
The Sweet Dreams Pillow Hat (+1)
The Thong Thong (+6)
The Three Puppeteers (0)
The Toaster That Always Burns (+5, -6)
The ToileTree (+8, -4)
The Wheel of Terror (-1)
The Wholly New Bible (+5, -13)
Theft Certificate (+9, -7)
Theory of Subjective Size Perception (-2)
Thermochronometer (+8, -2)
Thingamajuggler (+2, -1)
Thoroughfare Throughway Throttle Thwarter (+10)
Throw Arm Extension (0)
Time Flying (+1)
Time-Goes-By Bracelet (+12)
Time Magnification (+1)
Toe Tots (0)
Toilet Traffic Testicular Titillation (+2)
Tongue Spa (+2, -1)
Tooth Parfait (+4, -1)
Topless Tunnel Train (+1, -1)
Topographical Keyboards (+1)
Trampomill (+5)
Traveling Trampoline (+9, -2)
Treetments (0)
Triple-Barreled, Pneumatic, Ball-Dribbling Parabola, Reaction Hovermobile (+11)
Trolley Tails (+6, -2)
Trunk Lid Tie Down Straps (0)
Tugging, Treading Warriors (+4)
Tumble Bubble (+12, -3)
Tumble Lapse Photography (+9)
Tumbled Towels (+4)
Turtle-vee (+1)
Tutu Table (+7)
TV Cook Eatery (+4)
TV without jerks (+5, -3)
Twiddle Dee Thumbs (+3)
Twist & Bark – the doggy shakin’ shower (0)
Underhanded Type (+3)
Underwear for Software or Hardware (+8, -4)
Untied (+3)
Upside-Down Mobile (+5)
Used Food (+7, -3)
Vacuum Splint, Ski Apparel (0)
Vanity Mirror (+4, -2)
Vegetable Cookies (+1)
Verminophobia Glove Pocket Pants (+4)
Viewer-Selected Point of View (+7)
Virtual Bioengineering (+1)
Virtual Valet (+4)
Waggle Wagon (+1)
Waking Ducks (+1)
Watch of Many Faces (+7)
Water Bed with the Perfect Wave (+3, -1)
Water Curls (+2)
Water Lantern (+2)
Water Pipe (+2)
Waterfall Skiing (+4)
Wayward Keys (+5, -4)
We’ll Wheel (+1)
Wearable Watering Can (+2)
Webbed Lips (+1)
Well-Heeled Catwalk (+3)
Wet Box Mirror (+5)
What has snake hands and a cubic face? (+19, -1)
What You Steer Is What You Get (+4, -2)
Wheally Fun Steering (+1, -2)
Wheel-Impelling Propellers (+2)
Wheeled Jack-in-the-Box Scarecrow (+5)
Wheelloon (+9)
Whoopee Odorant Roll-on (+4)
Win the Beauty with the Beasts (+7, -2)
Wind Pipe (+4)
Window Blades (+1)
Window Dressing (+2)
window dressing (+2, -1)
Wing in Ground Ways (+1)
Wingmill (+17, -3)
Wiping Windshield (+1)
World Watch (+8)
Woven Cardboard (+2)
Wrist Diode-Dial (+14, -1)
Xmas in Azure (+1)
Yo-yo Head (+15, -1)
Yo-Yoing Yourself (+7, -1)
Yoda Poetry (+21, -4)
Z-mail (+7, -1)
Zen Ski (+3)
Zeno Boots (+2)
Zoom Moons (+4)

random, halfbakery