Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Floodlit Atheist Paintballing

*SPLAT* "Aaaargh! For the love of God!"
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Militant Atheists may be few in number, but they do exist, and wouldn't be the only ones to enjoy paintballing in a religious building. Disgruntled former-believers; bored students; old people seeking a thrill - all would turn up, at the stroke of midnight, armed and ready to engage in some high-energy war games, whilst sticking two fingers up at God in the process.

Meetings could be arranged on the internet or via text message, and members would have to bring their own equipment. Venues are limited to buildings which host religious events - churches would probably be the easiest to use, because security (in my experience) is minimal, and nothing beats the thrill of storming that final confession box with the help of smoke screens and paint-grenades - but venues could include synagogues, mosques and temples.

Now I will admit that this is essentially against the law, as unless the doors are left open (which is unlikely) Floodlit Atheist Paintballing involves breaking into the religious building; and the paintballing itself probably amounts to serious vandalism; but this should not deter anyone serious about being a Militant Atheist.

So... Westminster Cathedral, Tuesday night?

Mr Phase, Apr 09 2006

About atheism. http://atheism.about.com/b/a/143010.htm
Fritz Stern article on Nazis and religion. [DrBob, Apr 10 2006]

[link]






       [marked–for-deletion] advocacy, rant
DesertFox, Apr 09 2006
  

       I disagree, DF. This idea is in bad taste, and I'm boning it, but it isn't advocacy or a rant, so it should stay.   

       That said, it is in bad taste, is offensive to religious believers, and isn't funny.
dbmag9, Apr 09 2006
  

       //whilst sticking two fingers up at God in the process.//
The peace sign.
  

       //churches would probably be the easiest to use, because security (in my experience) is minimal//
Not minimal, just delayed.
  

       What's the floodlighting all about? I'm imagining that there's some backstory to this idea - but I can't work out what it might be.
zen_tom, Apr 09 2006
  

       how many playful militant atheists do you know? hands up!
po, Apr 09 2006
  

       <tumbleweed rolls by>   

       Nope - Can't think of any, playful or otherwise!
zen_tom, Apr 09 2006
  

       So, not a mock war between Christians and atheists, then? I'm disappointed.
RayfordSteele, Apr 10 2006
  

       [2 fries], [rcarty] - perhaps a victory sign, but certainly not a "peace" sign. I was thinking more along the lines of the offensive v-sign.   

       [zen_tom] It would be floodlit because it's played at night, and floodlighting makes everything look cooler. The only backstory to this is its inspiration: A day of paintballing followed by a three-hour choir concert in a cavernous church; the two concepts seemed to fuse together during the interval and produced the idea.   

       [po] I know several atheists who would go this far in order to prove their point, although I suppose "militant" is the wrong word. Perhaps "adventurous" or "insane".   

       [RayfordSteele] only if the congegation get advance warning and lie in wait for the atheists with their own equipment.
Mr Phase, Apr 10 2006
  

       // Nazis?//

Hardly!The Nazis regarded themselves as good Christians. See link.
DrBob, Apr 10 2006
  

       This better not happen in my Agnostic Temple.
notmarkflynn, Apr 10 2006
  

       Bun, simply because I would do it.
Germanicus, Apr 11 2006
  

       //And the people who commit those crimes, we call Nazis.//

I call them morons.
DrBob, Apr 11 2006
  

       Oh, yes, I'm sure God would get very upset at a few idiots running around in an old building making rude gestures. After all, he never gets to see what goes on in the real world, does he, so his sense of perspective is bound to be warped a little.   

       Which spat begs the question: why would atheists be trying to upset God?
egbert, Apr 11 2006
  

       Because most people become "atheists" without understanding what the word means, and run around flouting religion to be cool instead of ignoring it as they should. Because instead of being angry at the idea of religion, they are angry at it's followers (read as "parents"), and seek to upset them with trivial vulgar gestures in order to fill some sort of emptiness that they feel, gestures like spitting on the Bible, burning the Koran, and other sorts of superflous idiocies that get a strong emotional reaction but not any actual positive effect towards advancing the understanding of the atheist viewpoint, and actually make things worse for real atheists.   

       And before someone asks, no, I am not an atheist.   

       Self-righteous rambling aside, I can see why this would be fun,though. Gun fights in chruches always look so cool in movies and on televison.
notmarkflynn, Apr 11 2006
  

       [egbert], bun for that anno, and come to that, [notmarkflynn]'s response is pretty sharp too.
david_scothern, Apr 11 2006
  

       Occasionally, I accidentaly say something sensical.
notmarkflynn, Apr 12 2006
  

       this is a good idea although the whole floodlit thing is completely useless, would be so much more fun to do it durig a church service and see the look on the preacher's face. better still the best thing to storm wold be those televised evangelical gatherings which are complete nonsense and even more fun to take the piss out of. bun bun bun bun etc....
mistro, Apr 12 2006
  

       There might not be a God, but it's a shame to ruin some lovely bits of architecture for the sake of pointing this out. Therefore, bone.   

       The problem with ideas like this is I feel I have to set out my religion before I can comment.
moomintroll, Apr 13 2006
  

       Vandalising churches at the same time as paintballing. Think of it as political or religious paintballing. The idea is in the new variety and covert organisation to terrorise parishes.
Germanicus, Apr 13 2006
  

       This is just stupid and ignorant atheist bashing. Take you agenda elsewhere. Thanks.
lowbot, Apr 14 2006
  

       I think it's the opposite actually, but if you don't like religion bashing then it's effectively the same thing.
Germanicus, Apr 14 2006
  

       Actually I didn't mean for this idea to be taken too seriously, although I understand peoples' concerns. The general idea was for everyone to meet up at midnight, at a pre-arranged religious location, and play out some paintball games inside the building. I intended the focus to be more on the paintballing than the religion-bashing - if the building got damaged a bit, then so be it - but I guess that's the way people think these days.
Mr Phase, Apr 14 2006
  

       I propose Moveable Paintballing, something along the lines of a moveable feast, whereby congregations meet up after the service on a Sunday afternoon and go play sequential rounds of paintball in a series of atheist's homes.   

       If the buildings got damaged a bit, so be it.
egbert, Apr 14 2006
  

       //nothing beats the thrill of storming ... synagogues, mosques and temples.//
You go ahead and try that in this day in age. If you've never been on a field trip to a morgue, then this may be a new experience for you.
Letsbuildafort, Apr 15 2006
  

       \\The general idea was for everyone to meet up at midnight, at a pre-arranged religious location, and play out some paintball games inside the building\\ The only problem I have with that sentence is the word "religious". It takes the idea from sensless destruction in the name of fun, to religious advocacy.
hidden truths, Apr 16 2006
  

       Anti-Religious advocacy surely. The idea here is to let Atheists literally strike out at religion.
Germanicus, Apr 16 2006
  

       Anti-religious advocacy? That seems a cumbersome phrase, but I really can't think of a better one.
notmarkflynn, Apr 16 2006
  

       Sigh. With advocates like these, who needs enemies?
ping, Apr 17 2006
  

       //The only problem I have with that sentence is the word "religious"//   

       But if you take the religious theme out of the idea completely then it has no substance, and just becomes paintballing in public (although I suppose that idea does have some merit in itself, but is probably already baked).
Mr Phase, Apr 18 2006
  

       Or a militant atheist, which I think is what [Mr Phase] is trying to get at.
Germanicus, Apr 19 2006
  

       And then the Lamb opened the seal, and saith "Verily, I say unto thee, it doth exactly what it saith on the tin."
egbert, Apr 19 2006
  

       Somewhere amid the mass of militancy, paintballing and law breaking, there was the vague concept of having fun. I think it got lost along the way.
Mr Phase, Apr 19 2006
  

       [whitevette] It's been a while but I'm pretty sure an oxymoron is just a regular moron with a peroxide in place of the oxygen atom.
brewer, Apr 21 2006
  

       Wait, I'm confused here, is everyone in here religious or something?   

       What do you mean by "militant athiests", are you insinuating that only the religious would dare sign up for the military? There's this famous quote from somebody famous who I have forgotten: "those who make generalisations are idiots".   

       My god I hope you aren't saying that, a religious government is the worst kind, and a religion led miltary is the beginning of the end for humanity.
EvilPickels, Apr 22 2006
  

       //is everyone in here religious or something?//

Nope. I'm an atheist myself but if people want to believe that god or aliens or even Bugs Bunny rules the universe (the latter seems not unlikely to me) then they should be allowed to do so in the privacy of their own building without being harrassed.

If they then choose to take that viewpoint out into the public arena then that's a different matter. Then they're fair game and let the hunt commence.
DrBob, Apr 23 2006
  

       \\ is everyone in here religious or something?\\ Hell no.   

       Riddle me this then [Mr Phase]. Why was it that you chose religious buildings to be the targets of your idea? There are plenty of militant pro-life supporters that would enjoy floodlit abortion clinic paintballing. There are many militant animal rights groups that would love floodlit laboratory paintballing. Had you set the target of this to be Parliament or Congress, I would have laughed, maybe even applauded. Why did you, for no apparent reason, choose to target something that many people willingly put their faith in?
hidden truths, Apr 23 2006
  

       To be fair I didn't thnk he intended for the idea to be taken as seriously as it has.
Germanicus, Apr 23 2006
  

       Yeah, but, no, but, right, I mean I've been a religious nut in my time, and even done some street evangelism (I'm not ashamed - it was fun to watch and wasn't intrusive) BUT I do believe DrBob may have hit on something with the idea of Floodlit Street Evangelist Paintballing. I'd bun that!
egbert, Apr 25 2006
  

       For precisely that reason [hidden truths]. As a commited atheist myself, I'm often given to wonder (no offence meant to any dedicated believers out there) what makes people //willingly// devote their time to such matters as religion, and obviously the religious building is the focus of this belief. I'd also appreciate the irony of making the organisations spend some money replacing the precious objects that make their beliefs so hypocritical; as those who preach anti-materialism and charity shouldn't really be hoarding so much wealth.
Mr Phase, Apr 25 2006
  

       I wouldn't mind repainting an old church that wasn't paying it's property taxes.
quantum_flux, Jan 26 2008
  

       Not everything is relative.   

       Just because there are militants of religions that are apt to destroy what they disagree with, doesn't mean they have significant counterparts among those that aren't religious.   

       For more on this, I recommend the video on YouTube, "Stewart Lee, Don't Get Me Started"
talldave, Jan 28 2008
  

       zzz ...
nomocrow, Jan 28 2008
  

       "When Atheists Attack!" with Sheriff John Bunnell.
theleopard, Jan 28 2008
  

       If you showed up at my church, and pelted my wife and children with paintballs, you had better hope the cops take you away before I catch up with you.   

       This would also hold true at my home or the supermarket.   

       This is nothing more than advocating violence against a religious group, no less so than painting swaztikas on a synagogue or putting up nooses on a playground...
dbsousa, Jan 28 2008
  

       I see this idea more as using a church, a large open space that is (more often than not) empty, as an arena for paintball battles. The 'giving god the finger' and 'breaking in' are a not so much to my taste (I'm an atheist, but I respect other peoples right to believe in whatever), but if an easily-removed paint (latex-based? peel it off?) was used, it wouldn't be too bad. Change of pace from running around a forest, at least.
neutrinos_shadow, Jan 28 2008
  

       Don't you go paintballing the trees, now. I find that almost as heinous.   

       IMHO, people that give a smaller percentage of their income to charity in comparison to the wealth in their homes than that of a church should not be complaining about religious hypocrisy.
RayfordSteele, Jan 31 2008
  

       Why stop at paint?
The Duke, Mar 20 2008
  
      
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