Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Hackle-lowering Cream

Miraculous cream lowers hackles in seconds!
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(+4, -1)
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Massage our patented hackle-lowering cream into the back of your neck, and feel anger and worries slip away! Road rage, teen angst, and pointy-haired-boss-defenestritus are no match for this scientfically proven compound made of space-age meta-lubricants, sub-tropical tracheophytes, and cricket lips. Hackles guaranteed to drop 10, 15, even 25% in altitude! Hackle-lowering cream comes in Apricot, Pine-Sol, and Manly Gymtastic scents. Order now, and we'll throw in a genuine bamboo back-scratcher for free!
luxlucet, Feb 25 2009


       ...and makes a lovely shoulder chip dip.   

       Does it also release recently acquired goats? Because this really gets mine.
zen_tom, Feb 25 2009

       What in hell is a hackle?
blissmiss, Feb 25 2009

       I could actually do this, but it would probably also convince you of your ability to fly and temporarily paralyse you.
nineteenthly, Feb 25 2009

       [blissmiss] hackles are the hairs on the back of an animals neck that raise when they want you to back off.   

       But but but then how does the author know how it feels to have your "hackles" lowered? I so confused.
blissmiss, Feb 25 2009

       I think they are metaphorical hackles, but the hair on the back of a human neck raises when when in fight or flight mode too.
er...at least mine do. I assume I'm not the only one.

       <makes mental note to stop assuming that>   


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